(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

Japanese Language Reading
1589

Seconded! Very interesting.

1590
  1. 親孝行したい時には職はなし

おやこうこう したいときには しょくはなし

I agree with @pm215 that it must be from the child’s point of view because of the ～たい form.

There is an exception to that rule in the case of certain indirect or quoted statements, so this could be treated as a kind of indirect speech, with a bit of poetic elbow room, where the situation is being reported by another speaker or observer. With this in mind, I’m thinking of two possible interpretations.

The first interpretation, which seems the most likely to me, is that the speaker feels regret at not being in a position to support his parents as he would wish to, as in the following translations:

The times when I
Want to help my parents
I’m out of work.
(4/6/4)

Although I wish to
Support my dear parents
I’m out of a job.
(5/6/5)

I want to
Honour my parents but I’m
On the dole.
(3/7/3)

That last one is to include a possible sense of shame at not reflecting well on one’s parents by achieving success in the world.

My second interpretation follows in a separate comment.

1591
  1. 親孝行したい時には職はなし

おやこうこう したいときには しょくはなし

My second interpretation is a more Western one. In this version, a cynical observer (or a self-critical child himself) is reflecting on the increased attention parents receive when a child needs financial help:

He visits home
More than ever when
He’s unemployed.
(4/5/4)

Nothing promotes
Filial piety
Like joblessness.
(4/6/4)

I hope this isn’t how a Japanese native would read it, but it’s the first thing I thought of when I read the original.

1592

Can 職 be used to mean general tasks or chores? I assumed that it only meant ‘job’ in the sense of a post or employment.

1593

Mmm; it can mean ‘duties’ in a “what your job involves” kind of sense but I don’t think it goes as far as ‘chores’. Shogakukan Progressive J-E translates 職のない人 as「a jobless [an unemployed] person／〔総称〕the unemployed.

1594

I’m 99% certain that this is the key. I’ll ask my wife if she knows the expression, but I suspect it’s common enough that the humor comes purely from substituting 職(しょく) for 親(おや). That makes it very difficult to translate, but I think @nemurineko is on the right track with his (or her) first interpretation, but the humor is lost when just translated like this.

Sadly, I can’t think of any common expression in English regarding “filial piety” (the important virtue and primary duty in Confucianism of respect, obedience, and care for one’s parents and elderly family members.)

Also: なし？ Really?! That sounds so weird to me referring to a person that’s passed. Why, Japanese people, WHY?!!

1595

Well, in English we have the Fifth Commandment (“Honour thy father and thy mother”), which could be considered a common expression regarding filial piety, if you don’t mind letting Moses stand in for Confucius.

How can I
Honour my father and mother
with no job?
(3/8/3)

which still fails to capture the playful twist of the original.

1596

Trying to capture the double-take effect of the original:

I never appreciated
My parents until it was too late
When I’d already lost my job
(8/9/8)

I never respected
My parents when I had the chance
And now I’m unemployed
(6/8/6)

Now when I finally
Want to help my parents, it’s too late
Because I’m out of work
(6/9/6)

I missed my chance
To take care of my parents
And now I’m skint
(4/7/4)

1597

It’s still not funny in English, possibly because in the West our sense of guilt for parental neglect is more about time and intimacy rather than financial support, so the job situation is irrelevant, or relevant in the opposite direction (I’d like to see more of my parents, but I can’t because I got a promotion). I don’t see a way to make this work.

Wandering even further off the rails:

My biggest regret is not spending more time with my parents when they were still around
And now it’s too late, and I’ll never get the chance
Because they’ve moved to Florida

1598

Sunday, February 26, 2023

Previous senryu

  1. 親孝行したい時には職はなし
    おやこうこう・したいときには・しょくはなし
    How can I / “Honour thy father and mother” / with no job?

Notes:

  • Geez, I blink and over a wee has gone by in this thread. Mea Culpa

  • As discussed, this one is almost impossible to capture in English. Referring to the fifth commandment was brilliant (about as close as we can get to the concept, I suspect). Well done.

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Various settings

  1. ちょっと声変えて２度目の問い合わせ

I can read and understand every word in this one. Doesn’t mean I understand the meaning, though. My best guess is the author is calling someone again for the same information, and out of embarassment is disguising their voice?

Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.

Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1599
  1. ちょっと声変えて２度目の問い合わせ

ちょっとこえがえてにどめのといあわせ

I’ll try them again
Asking the same question, but
Disguising my voice
(5/7/5)

“I’m calling about –
What’s that? I beg your pardon –
No, that wasn’t me.”
(5/7/5)

I’m much more polite
Than that caller you spoke to
Five minutes ago.
(5/7/5)

1600

The second time
On the information line
Changing my voice
(4/7/4)

1601

ちょっとこえかえてにどめのといあわせ

disguised my voice
a little bit and
then asked again

1602

Very nicely done!

I couldn’t figure out a way to squeeze in the ‘little bit’.

1603

Monday, February 27, 2023

Previous senryu

  1. ちょっと声変えて２度目の問い合わせ
    ちょっとこえかえてにどめのといあわせ
    disguised my voice / a little bit and / then asked again

Well done gang. Glad we all agree on the interpretation.

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Salaryman

  1. 衣食住 すべてそろった 偽装品

Interesting. I’d never seen the word 衣食住(いしょくじゅう) before, but understood the meaning right away. The only other tricky bit was knowing the verb 揃う (必要なものが全部ある状態になる).

I think once again, coming up with an English equivalent will be challenging.

Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.

Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1604

No takers?

1605
  1. 衣食住すべてそろった偽装品

いしょくじゅうすべてそろったぎそうひん

A complete set
of necessities of life
Counterfeit goods
(4/7/4)

All in stock
Everything you need
Knock-off merch
(3/5/3)

A full supply
All the essentials
Bootleg bounty
(4/5/4)

1606

いしょくじゅうすべてそろったぎそうひん

all you need!
everything is here!
bootleg goods

The thing that gave me pause on this one was 偽装品. I googled it to check if there was some nuance I was missing, and google asked me if I meant “偽造品”, so I wondered if there was some particular reason for using 偽装品 instead, but couldn’t really figure it out.

Here’s an article on the difference between 偽造品 and 模造品.

EDIT:

Here’s an attempt with slightly different wording for the last line because I think I might like it better singular:

all you need!
everything is here!
fake product

1607

I thought I’d also share this here. I discovered Notion over the past week and ended up creating my own, and one of the things I wanted to do with it was compile all of my senryu translations into one place for easy browsing, so I found a spot to feature the most recent one at the bottom of the main page, and also created a page with all of the previous ones I’ve done (in reverse order).

I’m only including the better translations, and there are a few that I’ve tweaked a bit since originally posting them, but it’s fun to see how long the list has gotten! I shared them with my parents and was surprised how much my dad in particular really loved them. His favorite was “日記には上司の名前君付けで”, which made him laugh really hard (I guess I managed to translate the concept into something that also works in English, haha).

1608

That’s great!

I used notion for a while, but tend to use obsidian for all my notes these days. There is real power in plain text files for all your notes. Not so great for sharing, but it’s fantastic as a personal “second brain” so to speak. I keep my list of random numbers for upcoming senryu in there among other things.