My assumption was daughter, mostly from the casualness of the farewell, though my translation left it ambiguous 
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The more I look at this, the less it seems like a farewell wave to me.
I’ve never heard 手を上げる to mean anything other than:
- To volunteer
- To indicate a willingness to participate
- To threaten to strike someone (doesn’t fit with the airy じゃあね tone)
- To surrender (but this would be with both hands).
Thoughts?
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You can also use it straightforwardly to describe somebody raising their hand for any reason, eg:
None of the idiomatic meanings make sense here, so I think the poet is simply describing the scene, a moment in time.
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More convincingly, here’s an ALC Eijirou entry that translates 手を上げて別れの挨拶をする as “lift a hand in farewell”.
I think the use of 片手 rather than 手 takes the more idiomatic-phrase meanings off the table, anyway.
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I was wondering if it was something along the lines of the daughter taking marriage extremely lightly (or desperately), “sure, I’ll do it” to someone looking for a mate.
My main puzzlement is why they didn’t use a form of 振る if they explicitly meant a wave.
The 手を上げて別れ example is a good one, but it seems like 別れ is carrying a lot of water there. Without it, I’m strongly pullled toward the volunteer/participate common meaning of raising one hand. Seems odd that wasn’t intentional.
All that said, I still buy that your interpretation might be correct (especially since it’s in しみじみ編). I’m just puzzled by the author’s specific word choices.
Sometimes you just want to say somebody lifted their hand rather than saying they waved. It feels more precise as an observed-image to me.
2 Likes
That makes sense. I’m convinced.
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Wednesday, February 1, 2023
Previous senryu
- じゃーねと片手を上げて嫁いだ娘
じゃーねと ・かたてをあげて・とついだこ
Her hand raised, / “See you!” says my now / wed daughter
Thanks for the good discussion! I really like the “observed image” framing. This one is a しみじみ mental snapshot for sure (with two daughters, it kinda hits me in the feels).
I’ve taken some liberties with this 3/5/3 as usual, mainly to fix my discomfort with a “waved” rather than “raised” hand.
Current senryu challenge
Volume: Salaryman
- 新企画 「マジでヤバイ」と 褒められる
Heh. This one should be fun.
Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.
Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.
Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源由来辞典 is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.
Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.
2 Likes
It reminds me a bit of the first time my brother and his new wife came to visit my parents, and my dad had a momentary freak out when they were in the bathroom together before remembering they were married and it was ok. (Yeah, my parents were like that). I think this is a similar feeling- daughter has recently married and moved out, and it is still strange for the author that she’s leaving after a visit, while she just gives a casual wave and a “see you later”.
That was the prior senryu – spoiler blurs are no longer necessary.
After absorbing @pm215’s comments, I get a more melancholy, しみじみ vibe: the daughter has just recently been married, and was leaving the house for good with a lightweight but awkward じゃーね … like she was leaving to live elsewhere for the first time in her life, and the gesture didn’t quite match the momentousness.
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Ah, I wasn’t sure on the time limits for spoilers
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- 新企画 「マジでヤバイ」と 褒められる
しんきかく・「マジでヤバイ」とほめられる
My attempt (a 3/8/3):
Praise for my / new scheme: “Seriously, / that’s unhinged”
I love the words 「ヤバイ」and 「微妙」expressly because they are so difficult to translate and interpret. I don’t understand all the nuances, but I hear them used in so many different ways!
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That’s what I thought too. Maybe even touching on kid’s (involuntary) cruelty when they are excited to leave, just go kthxbye and only the parents are sad 
But then I showed the 川柳 to a native speaker and surprisingly she instantly had a smile on her face!
It was hard to explain why, but she said that usually wedding ceremony + leaving the house are super formal and kinda awkward event, but if the daughter can maintain such casual and relaxed language it show that she has a great relationship with her parents, so it was a touching and happy image for her.
About 手を挙げる she said it’s just raising your hand when you greet/leave someone and it’s neutral (not worse than 手を振る for example). Indeed I could find plenty of example on google image with 手を挙げる挨拶.
4 Likes
Yeah, that’s what I meant, actually. Melancholy was a bit too heavy a word. I meant the occasion was huge/momentous/potentially-sad, but the daughter kept it light and airy — the humor comes from the incongruity (there’s the word I was looking for).
The humor in these is why I enjoy them so much.
Also, “raising one hand” has the same meanings/implications in either language, I think. I was just misled by thinking of the volunteer/agree-to-participate connotation first.
“Raising one hand in parting” (or greeting) works in English, too, but isn’t the most common connotation, I think, despite it being the intended meaning here.
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I’ll wait for at least one more submission before moving onto the next one.
I’m not satisfied with my attempt. It oesn’t quite seem to hit the mark. For one, I’ve not captured the transitivity properly (but it’s tough in English with syllable constraints). Two of my specific word choices aren’t quite optimal, either, I suspect.
Any other takers?
- 新企画 「マジでヤバイ」と 褒められる
しんきかく「マジでヤバイ」とほめられる
My new plan
Was highly praised:
“So badass”
3/4/3
4 Likes
- 新企画 「マジでヤバイ」と 褒められる
しんきかく「マジでヤバイ」とほめられる
New scheme
Was well received
“Wicked”
2/4/2
2 Likes
- 新企画 「マジでヤバイ」と 褒められる
しんきかく「マジでヤバイ」とほめられる
New project
Gained approval
“Really dope!”
3/4/3
3 Likes
I need to run out of town for a bit this morning.
Will try to decide which of @nemurineko’s I like best before the end of the day.
Saturday, February 4, 2023
Previous senryu
- 新企画 「マジでヤバイ」と 褒められる
しんきかく・「マジでヤバイ」と・ほめられる
My new plan / Was highly praised: /“So badass”
I think I liked this one best. Tricky one to translate. It seems like every language has words that literally mean something bad that have come to have colloquial, slang meanings that are positive. More interesting is how quickly the meanings change over time and geographically.
Current senryu challenge
Volume: Life in 1 Page
- お隣がタオル投げ込むほどにもめ
Hints:
TIL that “throwing in the towel” apparently has the same connotation in Japanese.
I’m pretty sure the final もめ is 揉め from the verb 揉む meaning a quarrel:
- も・む【△揉む】（他五）《マ（モ）・ミ（ン）・ム・ム・メ・メ》
｟中心義－体の間に挟み適度の力で動かす｠
① 両方のてのひらまたは二本の指などの間に物を挟んで、押しつけながらこすり合わせる。「紙を―・んで丸める」「錐（きり）を―」
② 激しく心を揺れ動かす。「気を―（＝心配する）」
③ 筋肉をほぐすために揉（も）み療治をする。「肩を―」
④ たがいに入り乱れて押し合う。「満員電車で―・まれる」
⑤ 相撲・将棋・囲碁などの勝負事の相手となって鍛える。「一番―・んでやろう」
⑥ 激しく議論し合う。「―・みに―・んだ企画」
⑦ みこしをかついで、揺り動かす。
⑧ （受け身の形で）つらい経験をする。「世の荒波に―・まれる」
〔自〕も・める（下一） 〔可能〕も・める（下一）
Seems like definition 6 is the most applicable?
Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.
Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.
Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源由来辞典 is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.
Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.
2 Likes