This happens to me all the time!! You’re in good company
Also, for what it’s worth, I enjoy you having a different perspective (even if it is one mora’s fault) and taking up the challenge to think so critically about grammar! I can tell you’ve been at this game for a while.
Wish I had just not / answered that phone call as I / was readying to leave
Given that it is in the husband category, I’m guessing he got the marching orders to do something or other. Or, it could simply be that he was looking forward to going home, and the call held him back…
I ended up choosing Axazel’s version, but all three perfectly captured the intent. Axazel’s grammatical explanation put it over the top (5-7-5 to boot!).
〜なきゃよかった is casual Japanese for 〜なければよかった: ”it would have been good if I hadn’t,” a way of expressing regret
Dropping a mora will mess you up! It was so weird seeing the こ suddenly appear: you can even tell when I cut and pasted (still without noticing) and when I actually typed the wrong version in my replies above. I was expending so much mental energy trying to explain the の in よかったの電話 to myself (thinking it important) that I didn’t even notice that wasn’t what was actually written! From here on, I’m reading all of these aloud, SLOWLY counting morae!
Current senryu challenge
I’m simultaneously certain I understand the literal meaning of this one, while equally uncertain of the real meaning (I’ve at least two possible interpretations). Ladies please help me out.
Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.
Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!
Lol if you can’t tell I’ve given up on my alternate spreadsheet
You do good work man. Never realized how hard it was to keep a daily spreadsheet
This sounds very wrong but
Carry (sth) in an empty Chanel box methodically
Cause 工作 as an adverb apparently means 「ある目的のために、計画的な働きかけを行うこと。」or “doing sth for a purpose in a planned way”
Also apparently もたせ can be an Edo Period haircut that looks like this, but I highly doubt that’s the intention of the writer
I swear this was not intentional! I realize now how easy this would be to misread.
It parsed weird to me because it’s just a bare 子 without the ども (and not 息子 nor 娘), so that drew all my attention — didn’t even notice that it would be easy to accidentally merge with the preceding word.
But it cracks me up that it’s once again the evil こ causing trouble!
This is my favourite part of this challenge! I didn’t think of seeing it in this way—but I love it like this too
This was the angle I ended up taking! Hehe
At first it ending on せ threw me off, and I felt like it could have been some kind of command. Like, an exasperated spouse is thinking to themselves “Let the kid have it!!” But I think for it to be a command, we would need もたせろ or もたせて … So I went with a woman just giving in to the inevitable (a kid taking her gorgeous Chanel box to cut and paste🤣) !
I’m still suspicious of that hanging せ though. If anyone can explain it to me I’d be so grateful
EDIT: It occurs to me that while most people reading this read and write Japanese better than I do, there may be a few that struggle to read this, so I’ve decided to include what I intended to say in English as well.
(Please don’t hesitate to let me know if I’ve made any grievous errors with the Japanese)
SUBJECT: Masterpiece Senryu English Version (translation club)
Hello, my name is Rex. I’m an American.
Please forgive my broken Japanese.
For the past two or three years I’ve been studiously learning Kanji. I’ve spoken a little Japanese for the past few decades, but through the graces of the wanikani.com website I’ve finally learned to read and write a little bit as well.
The topic of senryu came up spontaneously on that site’s forum recently.
We found your “Masterpiece Senryu” page and are extremely grateful. They are interesting and short, so they are perfect practice for foreigners.
For the past several weeks, my friends on the forum and I have bee translating one senryu per day. It should take almost exactly one year to translate them all, but we’ve already finished one month’s worth.
Forgive the rudeness, we never asked for permission or anything. But if you’re interested, here are the translations we’ve performed so far:
We update the spreadsheet every day. I’m sure there are many errors. Most of the English versions don’t follow the 5-7-5 rule, but we hope they at least capture the feeling correctly.
The spreadsheet is public, but without the link it cannot be found. Our forum discussions are private.
Thank you so much. Please don’t hesitate to email if you have any questions or concerns.
I made two versions, since apparently child can be pronounced with one or two syllables depending on what dialect of English you speak. For me, it’s one syllable, so that version is first.
For a craft project,
I let my darling child have
the empty Chanel box
For a craft project,
I let my dear child have
the empty Chanel box
I guess my interpretation is slightly different. To me, it’s less about a parent showing off to others at the child’s school, and it’s more about how the box and the Chanel item have differing values to the parent and the child. To the child, the empty box is the most valuable part of it, and they probably couldn’t care less about what the box contained.
I thought you were talking about the Japanese word at first, so I was really confused!
I’m a navy brat, but many of my kin are from Kentucky, and I lived for many years in the Carolinas and the hills of Virginia. I’m quite comfortable and familiar a Southern drawl and extra vowels in surprising places.
But surely the word child has just a single syllable regardless of regional accent, even if it might take a while longer for some people to say!
And “dear child” would surely be four or more syllables by that logic?
I remain unconvinced. I have relatives that would pronounce “yes, dear” something very close to “yeh-ass, dee-er” but I don’t think they nor anyone else would claim those two words contained four syllables.