(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

Like I said, I’m not at all confident in my interpretation. I don’t know if any of these are correct. I’ll forward it to the fam in Japan tonight to get some native takes.

Curious if you’re actually from New Orleans?

I’m a navy brat who’s traveled a lot, but I’m born and raised in Virginia, am still a property owner in North Carolina, and have kin on my father’s side in Kentucky. “Y’all” is definitely part of my vocabulary.

It’s interesting to see it morph as you move around the east coast: “you guys,”, “you’se guys,” even “you’ns” (pronounced “yunz”) in parts of Pennsylvania I think. And yes, it’s perfectly normal to refer to even an individual as “y’all.”

I’m not actually, I’m a native of the Carolinas (We definitely have some yinzers up in the western NC mountains too!) I just like the theatricality and joy of a jazz funeral. I think too often Americans, in all their funerary solemnity, forget to celebrate life. The way death/funerary practices vary from culture to culture is a fascinating topic unto itself. Forgive the momentary off-topic tangent!


When I go, I want an Irish wake and a second line!


Translation attempt

I’m probably wrong as usual (will check with a native), but just in case:

  1. 禁煙と見事に書けて一服す


Magnificently written: / “No Smoking” / — I take one puff


I think it would be 「と<書>[か]け」or, more likely, 「と<書>[か]いた」if it was the puff itself that spelled out “no smoking”. My grammar is terrible, though.

We both think the original basically says 禁煙と書けている, but just leaves off the いる. The question is whether there’s a “no smoking” sign, or if the smoke itself spells it out. I’ll try to find out what a native thinks. I’ve seen some of those crazy vape tricks, but

Is the す somehow turning いっぷく into a verb (short for する maybe?) or is it short for です as you surmise?

Could it possibly be 吸?! That is, is the writer sucking-in a puff after seeing the sign?

If it is the smoke spelling out 禁煙, that’s one heck of a trick! 26 strokes!

So many questions!


It would be both funny and ironic if it was the case

The smoke spelling it out would be both magnificent and ironic, yes.

I also like the humor in brazenly ignoring a no-smoking sign, too, though. I wonder if there are any further interpretations.

Another one I could think of would be I wrote down “no smoking” perfectly, then puffed out smoke Would make sense if the person was for example a street worker, and it would use the linking meaning of the te form


The implication could be of taking a smoke break after completing the job. (Idk if that’s a spoiler i should blur out…)

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一服す means to have a smoke or to take a smoke, but what job was completed?

The one where they wrote the no smoking text somewhere



I think you may have it: the author created a magnificent “No Smoking” sign, then had a smoke to celebrate!


Although the と is confusing me, because when you write something you use 何かを書く, right? So does the と give a different meaning?

I’m curious what natives would say it means though, sofar none of the translations made me think that the others are incorrect.

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と is the quotation particle, と書く means “wrote x”


I think that’s just the quotation of what’s being written.

Ok cool, I wasn’t sure if that was also used for 書く, i had never seen it before

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It’s a common thing in books, so reading helps


I’ve only been reading manga so far, and there aren’t a lot of quotation particles in that at all actually, because of the…pictures :joy:. Eventually I’m going to move to novels, etc, but i haven’t gotten so far yet


Agreed, I’ll let you know as soon as I hear back (still early, JST).

I’m putting my money on the meaning being something like the following, though:

After I finished the magnificent “No Smoking” sign, I had a smoke.
After writing “No Smoking” so splendidly, I had a smoke.

一服する, not 一服です at the end. My confusion was thinking that it was just some random “no smoking” sign, but you and @KJules getting me to think of the author as the one who created the “splendid” sign makes much more sense.

At this point, I’ll be surprised if that isn’t the meaning of the poem.

Love the collaboration!

@enbyboiwonder: No need to withdraw submissions even if you have second thoughts (especially before we are certain!). My hope for this thread is that we all work together to figure out the most likely meaning. It’s not about getting it right or wrong, it’s about 改善(かいぜん) (continuous improvement). Future readers will benefit from seeing all the attempts and collaboration, right or wrong.

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Yeah well I don’t think anyone needs to see anything that’s so bad and far off base that it’s cringeworthy. Teach me to attempt anything when I know literally nothing. I’ll just observe