(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

I’m not sure if replying to me was intentional, but I think any sort of prioritization system is probably fine. It’s all subjective

If you wanted to avoid being a judge, you could just include all of them in the spreadsheet, maybe just excluding any with inaccurate meanings. Especially since there aren’t that many translations each time

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That’s even more cutting and pasting, though, and I like the idea of one “consensus translation”.

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It’s only really 3 cuts and 3 pastes, at least this round
Although ig there are also names to cut/paste

I mean fair lol. This is also a subjective thing

If you’d like, I could maintain the spreadsheet of all translations, and you could maintain the spreadsheet of the consensus translations

A first volunteer. :grin:


A single spreadsheet is easier to maintain, and since this is a daily thing I’m trying to optimize the 5-step process above as much as possible. I’m hopeful I can get it down to just a few seconds each morning. As it is, I’m having to do lots of tab-switching and editing.

Over time I expect to get it down to an even simpler process (possibly even involving some automation).

I’d rather not give up on just ONE translation for each original, though (with notes discussing things from other translation attempts as necessary). The entire list is intended to be read eventually, and multiple translations for some of them would detract from the overall reading experience significantly.

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Makes sense! You seem older than I am (what with having a wife and all), so you’re probably also busier

I’ll maintain a separate spreadsheet with all the translations here with the winner highlighted. I think it’s a nice reference for how many ways poems can be translated

I agree, makes sense


Older, yes, busier, no. Lazier, almost certainly. :slight_smile:


That’s not laziness but wisdom coming with age.


Shhh you’re supposed to say you’re more used to efficiency or sth


Commenting purely on the poetics of the English here:

I like the single/double/triple combination, because it captures the repetition of the original but, if I were judge I think I’d substitute “treble belly” Because I like the alliteration and the sense of overindulgence (“trebles all round”).


TIL that’s a word that also means triple.
For me it’s a bit too obscure to use like that

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For me this is up there with #4 or #5. But I get that it’s subjective and you would like to make the selection criteria more objective. On the other hand, you created this thread and it’s really fun to follow along, so maybe give yourself more credit. It’s ok to make subjective decisions! Prioritising the poetic nature will make the final compilation that much more worth doing imho. I doubt anyone will be offended :slight_smile:


Saturday, April 23, 2022

Previous senryu

  1. 目は一重アゴ二重に腹は三重
    Single eyelid, double chin, triple belly


  • Congrats to @Gorbit99 :confetti_ball:
  • Close second to @Myria (and I was tempted by @OwenDG’s suggestion of “treble” instead)
  • Special thanks to @Gorbit99 for noticing and correcting my reading
  • I’m not sure why the が was dropped in the original, it’s a simple change present in other versions I’ve found to make the 7 (おん) count correct.
  • I’m still wondering if there is any hint of お(じゅう) (Japanese multi-tier lacquerware boxes for food) in the eye/chin/belly construction.

Current senryu challenge

  1. 喧嘩して勝った子も泣く幼稚園


Another easy one today from the “Children” volume. This one seems really sweet to me.

Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts!

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser.

Here’s the link to the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

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Translation attempt

  1. 喧嘩して勝った子も泣く幼稚園

Having fought
The winner also cries

  1. 喧嘩けんかしてった幼稚園ゆうちえん

In kindergarten,
Even the winning kids cry,
When a fight occurs

Should have no extra words, and it follows 5-7-5 (for once finally), though I’m not sure if I’ve understood what that kindergarten randomly plopped to the end is doing


@Gorbit99 : I believe you’ve understood correctly.

Note to everyone: I think going forward I’m going to stop including the readings with the current day’s challenge (partly because I’m likely to screw them up, but mainly because figuring it out should be part of the challenge!).


Translation attempt

Even the winner cries

It occurs to me that senryu don’t normally contain punctuation (I think it might not be allowed). There’s nothing to say we can’t use punctuation in the English translations, though!


Translation attempt

  1. 喧嘩して勝った子も泣く幼稚園

Kid who won the fight
cries as well
  - that’s Kindergarden life


I’m pretty sure it’s just the rest of the preceding phrase modifying the noun since it follows the standard form of the verb. Or did you mean something deeper with the meaning?

I’m personally not sure whether to group it as 喧嘩して being part of the phrase that modifies 幼稚園, or whether the continuative stops there and 勝った子も泣く幼稚園 is a separate thought.

I guess the ambiguity is part of what makes it a Senryu

I understood it as a dropped は, because otherwise it’s just a very incomplete sentence, and the topic often gets put at the end, so this should work

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Not a submission cause I can’t think of anything good but like

In kindergarten, the kid who wins the fight cries

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