2nd try was the charm! Congrats for figuring it out. It seems 99% of the time the trick to understanding these is figuring out the subject/protagonist (in this case a restaurant owner)!
Note that we’ve come to realize that syllable-counts and 音-counts don’t really correlate 1:1. 5-7-5 syllable counts in English tend to feel wordy and not as “poetic” as the original Japanese. In general, 11 to 15 syllables are preferrable (3-5-3 or 4-5-4 tend to “feel” similar to the originals).
Note that the “Salaryman” volume just means it was a winner of the annual salaryman senryu contest, not necessarily about of for salarymen (this one is obviously aimed at parents).
Another easy one to read. I think it also has just one possible interpretation — prove me wrong!
Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.
Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源由来辞典 is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.
Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.
むちゃいうな！ サンタはそんなにおかねがない
Don’t be ridiculous! Santa doesn’t have that kind of money.
I read through the entire archive at work the past couple of weeks, excited to finally join in! (my kanji comprehension is a bit higher than my wanikani level; I have some college Japanese courses under my belt. Excited to get to WK levels where I don’t already know most things soon :-))
Such rubbish!
Santa doesn’t have that
much money!!
Probably uttered by the frustrated サラリーマン to his child upon hearing his/her wished for expensive Christmas present. The absurdity of it all is that サラリーマン’s family is likely Buddhist (even if in name only).
all submissions were very similar to each other, but @Linda0r successfully made a 4-5-4. @LaVieQ’s 3-5-3 almost took the prize but I ended up going with the first submission.
Current senryu challenge
Volume: Life in one page
爽快に起き目覚ましの故障知る
A harder one to read today, but I think the interpretation is pretty straightforward. It reminds me of some prior poems.
Wanikani doesn’t teach the 塾語 word 爽快, but the first character shows up on level 47 and the rest are also taught on earlier levels. The primary meaning provided by Wanikani for 故障 works better here than the English words JMdict and other dictionaries use. Yay Wanikani!
Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.
Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源由来辞典 is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.
Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.
wake up feeling great / then you realize / alarm clock’s broken
Very Japanese salaryman theme to this one, I feel. (My job’s flexitime so I never have to set an alarm clock anyway – doesn’t mean I always wake up feeling refreshed and raring to go though…)
Will anybody fall into the classic pitfall of forgetting about the meaning difference between しる and しっている ?
Does anyone else get the following vibe? I may be overly influenced by previous senryu that used 知る, but I get the feeling that it’s expressly because they woke up feeling refreshed that they realized their alarm is malfunctioning. Is there any way to capture that?
Yeah, that was the vibe I got as well, but it was hard to capture in English without requiring more words and losing the feel of the poem. I tried my best, but I guess I didn’t succeed
Awoke, refreshed!
Then noticed: alarm
had malfunctioned
Interestingly, nowadays I tend to wake up just before the alarm rings. Whatever the time. Rather strange, this premonition of alarm about to ring. Luckily, I don’t have the alarm on most days…
I seem to have (subconsciously) captured that by changing the tense in which it is written… present continuous in Japanese vs. past in my translation.
Yes, but, the daily load of admin work you do ain’t a walk in the park… Said with appreciation, of course.
Changing it to past tense does seem to work a little better. Though, I think @LaVieQ’s translation still doesn’t necessarily convey that waking up refreshed was why they realized the alarm had malfunctioned. The “then” sort of separates the two actions of waking up and realizing.
I ended up attempting another translation. I thought maybe a semicolon did a better job with connecting the two actions than “and” (and without completely rearranging the sentence).
woke up refreshed;
realized my alarm
had malfunctioned
wake up refreshed
only to realize:
alarm clock’s broken!
My attempt! Yesterday I completely forgot about syllables in my eagerness to contribute, so now have this 4/5/4 (if you’re being generous with syllables).
also i’m not actually from New Zealand, it’s just a nickname
All were good and quite similar, but ultimately I felt this 4-5-4 version was the most direct translation.
Current senryu challenge
Volume: Husbands
いい家内10年経ったらおっ家内
This one’s great! Sounds like a dad joke I might make.
This time the competition may be figuring out the reading more than the interpretation (not to mention figuring out how to express it in English!).
Forgot to add this definition which will help: おっかない
Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.
Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源由来辞典 is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.
Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.
That’s pretty good. I didn’t think there was any way to get even close to translating the pun.
We’ll see if anyone comes up with anything better, but I’d just assumed we’d have to use the Japanese words without translation (explaining the joke in the notes).
to @pm215 (and welcome!)
to @superelf94 and @LaVieQ
Said with appreciation, of course.