January 29, 2021
Streak day: 359
CAKE DAY: January 31, 2021
Apprentice items: 201
Items left: 168
Posting a bit earlier than usual today, because my plane flight was delayed and I won’t be at home before midnight after all xd
I’m writing from the airport, where I did reviews too, wish I could say I’ve never reviewed with a mask on, but that wouldn’t be true either. That’s the first time since October though
Tokyo from SMTIV. I’ll get there eventually, or at least that’s what I’m hoping for!
I had a plane ticket for a flight in March of 2020, I had to cancel it a week before the flight for obvious reasons. Though, it was mostly fear-mongering at that time, everyone in the world would be delighted to see the case numbers of you know what being the same as back then. And besides, Japan didn’t start introducing restrictions until a month after the Europe has, so I could’ve still flown there
Oh well, what’s done is done! Can’t rewind back to when the world looked completely different.
But that’s a good point to branch off to an introspective. Saying that 2020 was a tough year is an understatement, no matter how you look at it. A lot of things went wrong, a lot of interests of mine had to get completely replaced by something else instead and I made a lot of bad, terrible decisions.
From a person that always held their head up I lowered my nose towards the ground, though luckily not too many people have noticed that, so maybe there’s still a chance for me to recover xd
WaniKani has been both a blessing and a curse for me, on one hand, I accelerated my Japanese studies to previously unprecedented heights and I got really decent at reading, really fast. On the other though, I realized that I don’t like Japanese that much and realistically speaking, I can’t see myself sticking to Japanese too long after I’m done with WaniKani - the biggest benefits would probably be reading light and visual novels in original, but most often those are available in English as well and English translators do a very good job of not only preserving the contexts, but also explaining concepts that don’t exist in English to English speakers.
I haven’t found too many websites in Japanese that would have info that would both interest me and not exist in English, but that’s still work in progress. Maybe I’ll find a fanclub of Tsukihime somewhere on 5ch sometime in the future maybe
One of the reasons why I wanted to study Japanese in the first place is that I wanted to get to read those obscure PSP-era games that never got translated and I hope I’ll eventually get to them. Right now I’m going through Super Mario Sunshine in Japanese and I’m doing pretty okay, despite there not being too many kanji xd
My ultimate goal in studying Japanese is to read 大逆転裁判2, a game that I consider very intimate and something that realistically could become my favorite game of all time. I relate to the first part pretty heavily, being an expat, straight out of college, having a 覺悟 like 成歩堂龍ノ介, the only thing missing is the sidekick part xd
I’ve developed a few other bad habits over 2020 too. I tend to play less games, indulge myself less in art, if I see that I have 20 minutes left to another review session I doomscroll for the next 20 minutes instead of doing anything else, I’ve stopped running, I’ve stopped working out, I eat a lot, I’ve stopped programming for fun, I hope I’ll be able to reclaim some of those things in 2021 when I’m in Germany
But yeah, one thing I really struggle with over the expat life and the pandemic is being able to have a person whose door I could knock onto anytime of the day or night and complain about the world being unfair. I’ve become very sheltered and secretive about my feelings because I assumed nobody would be out there to listen. I did find out two people I could open up to by being away from home though: my parents! My relation with parents improved a lot over this expat pandemic journey. I love my parents very much.
Buuut I still wish I had a best sort of a friend next door anyway xd
If you have any experiences with loneliness and opening up to anyone, feel free to post them in, I’d love to read those. It’s much better than doomscrolling anyway