I’m writing an essay for my Japanese class, and my teacher pointed out a couple areas that were incomprehensible/incorrect, and I’m struggling with how to fix them. Help would be appreciated!
星やわく星が多すぎて私たちは小さすきます。
My teacher highlighted the bold part as being incorrect. The obvious mistake is that I made a typo and wrote き instead of ぎ but is there anything else wrong there? I’m thinking I maybe should have wrote 少なすぎます.
私たちはとてもりこうの社会に住んでいるでしょう。
My teacher said that the bold part was incomprehensible. I meant to say something along the lines of “We would probably live in a very smart society [because a lot of people will be educated].” In hindsight, I see that I should have used な instead of の. Would changing that fix it, or is this a sentence that doesn’t translate well into Japanese and I should try a different phrasing?
もしいつも星々が見えたら、星々が平凡かもしれません。普段の光景だけですか。
The bolded sentence is apparently also incomprehensible; I included the sentence before it for context. I meant to ask “If you could always see the stars, the stars might become normal. Would it just be an ordinary sight? [as opposed to something special]” Not sure what went wrong there specifically…
I’m not sure about the logic of this sentence. “There are too many planets/stars and satellites, and (so) we are too small.” Context?
Maybe 利口 only refers to people, since the mouth kanji is literally in there. The society’s mouth works well? I’m not sore how else to express the collective intelligence of a society, though.
You’ve phrased it as a factual question. There is no ‘would’ in your Japanese question. Maybe add some future tense and uncertainty markers. I’m not sure about the word choice, so I’ll leave that as is: 普段の光景になるのでしょうか。
Thanks for the input! I’ve decided that I’m having trouble explaining what I meant in English, and I wrote all that at like 3AM so I’m just going to scrap it and rephrase lol.
Probably. You’re going for a juxtaposition between “many” and “few” (not small). Still, I’m not sure how much sense “we are few” makes in Japanese. Maybe replacing ‘us’ with ‘humans’ would be better?
Taking into account what Saida said (that りこう might not be applicable to societies), you could rephrase that as “We would be living in a society with a lot of very smart/educated people.”
