Ok, this is actually from the story. I just extrapolated from whatever I’ve seen so far. He’s clearly very hung up on his ‘failure’. You’re right though, ばかり is also part of it, because that means he ‘only’ focused on that. But it’s mainly from the story. It’s not in the literal meaning of the sentence, not at all.
About the て-form
First of all, the rest are very welcome to pitch in. I think my approach to learning a new language tends to be like this: abstract/unclear → concrete → abstract. That is, when I first learn a new structure, I don’t really have a clear idea of what it means, so I learn a few uses and see a few examples. After that, I try to find a central idea that’s common to all of those uses, and I use that ‘gist’ to develop a feel for how to use the word so I don’t need to refer to definitions anymore (or at least, not as much). Thus, I might have trouble making my ideas more explicit since my internal ‘reference point’ can be something fuzzy at times. I’d like to see how you all think about the て-form, and how it’s different from how I look at it.
To answer your question, or at least to give you a better idea of how I apply my idea, I’m going to try to take one example sentence from each use given by Kawa Kawa, and show you how I learnt it or how I understand it:
Analysis of all 12 examples from Kawa Kawa
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Phrase/sentence linking: 猫を助け て、 家に帰ります。
The て action: ‘helping a cat’
It’s followed by ‘[I] return home’
Can I help a cat and return home at the same time? No, I guess not. It can also be sequential, right? Or offer a justification/cause? Hm… OK, sequential seems good. ‘I’ll help the cat, then/and go home.’ -
Requests/instructions: 猫を助け てください 。
The て action: ‘helping a cat’
It’s followed by ください. What is ください? It’s a short form for くださいませ, which is a command form of くださる, which is a respectful version of くれる, which means ‘to give’ or ‘to do (for me)’. OK, so I’m politely asking that the action of ‘helping a cat’ be ‘given to me’ or ‘done for me’. Therefore, ‘please help the cat.’ -
‘Even if’: 彼の猫を助け ても 、アタシとデートに行きません。
The て action: ‘helping his cat’
Followed by ‘not go on a date with me’
も=inclusive particle similar to ‘also’
Core idea: ‘he won’t go on a date with me’. Therefore, perhaps what comes before is something that works with that. A reason? A justification? But there’s も… ‘including the action “helping his cat”, he won’t go on a date with me’… Therefore, ‘even if I help his cat, he won’t go on a date with me.’ -
Asking permission: 猫を助け てもいいですか？
The て action: ‘helping a cat’
Followed by ‘is it good?’
Using the analysis from earlier, we get ‘including the action “helping a cat”, is it good?’. We’re including the case in which the cat is helped… so ‘is it good even if I help the cat’? If it’s ‘good’, then it’s ‘OK’, meaning I have permission. Therefore, ‘Is it OK if I help the cat?’ -
Prohibition: 猫を助け てはいけません 。
The て action: ‘helping a cat’
Followed by ‘cannot go’.
Particle in between is は. は indicates the context or topic, and can be used to strengthen the focus on something.
The topic for consideration is therefore the action of ‘helping the cat’. ‘The action “helping a cat” cannot go’. What does ‘cannot go’ mean? Well, usually, it means ‘it’s not acceptable’, similar to “ça (ne) va pas” in French. OK, so ‘The action of “helping a cat” is not acceptable’, meaning it’s not allowed. -
Doing something before/in preparation for something: ジャケットを脱い でおきます 。
The て action: taking off a jacket
Followed by ‘put (in a particular location)’
Note: here, like in sentence 1, the subject of the て action and the action that follow are the same. Let’s say it’s me. ‘I put (in a particular location) the action “taking off a jacket”.’ Where do I put it? Maybe if I put it in place, I will be able to do something else. That means I do the action ‘taking off a jacket’ first. Therefore, this means ‘I take off my jacket first/beforehand’ (in order to prepare for something). -
Trying something: 猫を助け てみます 。
The て action: helping a cat
Followed by みます
What’s みます? It must come from 見ます＝見る= to see/look. ‘I will help the cat and see’. What do I ‘see’? We say ‘wait and see’ or ‘open it and see’. Perhaps this means I will look at the result… so I can ‘try’ my luck. Therefore ‘I will try helping the cat.’ -
Accidents/unwilling actions: 猫を助け てしまいました 。
The て action: helping a cat
Followed by しまいました=しまう, which means, among other things, ‘to finish (doing)’
Again, we assume a subject based on context, let’s say me: ‘I helped the cat and finished.’ I was considering the action ‘helping the cat’, and that has something to do with my ‘finishing’… Maybe that describes how I finished my actions? Therefore… ‘I ended up helping the cat.’ (“J’ai fini par aider le chat.”) -
猫を助け てすみません 。
The て action: helping a cat
Followed by すみません=済む, which means, among other things, ‘to do’ i.e. ‘to be sufficient/satisfactory’. すみません is therefore an apology for something I (the subject we are assuming) did not do right/satisfactorily.
‘The action “helping a cat” being a given, I did not act satisfactorily (and am sorry).’ That means ‘by helping the cat, I did wrong.’ Therefore, ‘I am sorry for helping the cat.’ -
Doing someone else a favour: 猫を助け てあげます 。
The て action: helping a cat
Followed by あげます=あげる= ‘to give (to someone else)’
‘The action “my helping the cat” being a given, I give (to someone else).’ What am I giving? Maybe I a giving that action to someone? Therefore ‘I help the cat (for someone else).’ -
猫を助け てから 、家に帰りました。
The て action: helping a cat
Followed by ‘I returned home’
から means ‘from’ or ‘after’, and expresses the idea of departing from a particular starting point. The starting point is therefore the action ‘helping a cat’. It’s just a て-form. I have no information about when it happens, except that it has to happen before or at the same time as the next action. I don’t even know whether it’s happening in the present, past or future: that depends on the tense for the next action. The next action is in the past. Ok, so the action ‘helping a cat’ happens in the past. Since it’s a て-form, から means ‘from’ in terms of time, which is ‘after’. Therefore, ‘After I helped the cat, I returned home.’ -
Action in progress: 猫を助け ています 。
The て action: helping a cat
Followed by います＝いる= to exist (as an animate object/person)
‘I help the cat and exist’ OR ‘helping the cat, I exist’ OR ‘The action “helping the cat” being a given, I exist’. Therefore, ‘helping the cat’ defines my current state of existence. Thus, ‘I exist while helping the cat’. That is the state of my existence. Therefore, ‘I am helping the cat.’
There, all 12 sentences analysed. I hope that by reading that, you’ll understand my thought process. Sometimes, it’s not well phrased. Other times, it may not be that clear. But I hope you can see what I meant by the action being ‘a given’. Sometimes て is like ‘and’. Other times, it’s like ‘-ing’, because the action is, in one way or another, ongoing, either in time and space, or as something being considered in one’s mind. Ultimately, some of this probably came with experience, but that’s the essence of the idea.
I’m going to give you one last way of thinking about it, and maybe that will help you much more: you know le subjonctif in French? You use it when you need to consider an action, but it doesn’t necessarily mean the action happens, right? You just need to express the action so you can consider it? Yeah, so, maybe the て form is like le subjonctif: its value and meaning can only be fully determined after the rest of the sentence (before the “que” in French; after the て in Japanese) is seen.
1:20 in the morning
Note: the first に of the sentence is an adverbial while the second に is the indirect object marker;
