Nuance Index

Reposting for ease

Giving and receiving in Japanese. First we have to remember that which verb we use will be dependent on the social status of the giver and receiver. We have 3 levels in this case. The upper one is for social betters such as doctors, teachers, and bosses. The middle is for people in the same social level as us, like friends or coworkers. The third is for social lessers, which you can use for people, but depending on the case, it can be very rude. It’s often used with animals.

In my diagram, the upper level 目上(めうえ) is represented with 上司(じょうし) (boss), the same level has (わたし) (you the speaker) and your friend(s) 友達(ともだち), and the lower level 目下(めした) a (ねこ) (cat).

The verbs are written out along the arrows. Who takes the が particle (or is the doer) for each verb matches with the color of the verb. For example, for もらう, you, the speaker, take が which is written in gray/pencil while 友達(ともだち) takes が for same level くれる. The direction of the arrows indicate who gives what to who. This might get confusing with translations, but if you can conceptualize it in just Japanese, I think that will make it much easier to understand. For both いただく and くださる the boss 上司(じょうし) gives something to me, the speaker.

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