Just posting to say thank you to all who helped me here! 
On 9/14 I reset from level 21 to level 11 and have been very happy since then 
I also have a whole bunch of scripts in play - thanks to @prouleau for the encouragement on that! I also have downloaded Juken to my phone and tablet and it has been almost a life changing experience - mind blown!! 
In fact, going around the second time I have found that I knew more things than I thought I did - it was just that the fails were weighing on me so heavily. That does not make me regret stepping back - now I am enjoying the experience of succeeding more than I am failing, and doing lots of additional learning. The tipping point was when I decided that knowing more kanji at that point was not helpful when I could not actually read anything. 
The WaniKani community is fabulous and I appreciate your support 