Japanese language partners

are all Japanese people like this?
its like i try to make convo w/ them (try asking questions) then all they do is answer my question and they don’t even bother to ask back?? like its very hard to keep the conversation going on and i wouldn’t really call myself much of a conversation starter but in this case i have to or else nothing is gonna happen.
i don’t think i’ve ever made friends online so maybe the problem’s with me, but i mean how much longer am i gonna have to keep generating questions until we can just naturally talk to each other?
its kinda getting me annoyed ._.

yes ig i needed a place to complain maybe?

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Yes, I have had similar experiences with italki language exchanges. It’s incredibly tough to find someone, then it’s basically as you described. Compare that to when I wanted a Spanish partner, I was getting messages everyday and then when I spoke to them I couldn’t get a word in! Haha,…

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While Japanese people in general are more conservative, one trick that works in almost any situation is to think of it as more about getting to know someone rather than “making a conversation”.

What do they like? Why do they like that? What don’t they like? What don’t they like about it? What do they do for work? Are they a student? What do they do for fun?

While you may have to bear the majority of the burden in the beginning, once you start getting to know someone they tend to open up a bit more.

You can also volunteer more about yourself to make them feel more comfortable in sharing.

Talking to people is Hard™ :wink: You just have to feel your way through.

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I’ve met some pretty talkative people on HelloTalk.

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I have one language partner and he is sooo talkative that I can’t even tell he’s Japanese until he starts talking about LINE like everybody has it. What a good guy. But I’m sure there are plenty other outspoken Japanese on Italki/Hellotalk. Dunno man.

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thanks for the advice:) I hope it gets better lol

I have a Japanese language partner who is living in the US and at first it was a little tough to know what to talk about and how it was going to be structured etc. I think I was (and still am) a little nervous about being too demanding or in control of the situation (what if she doesn’t want to do this? will she tell me? or will she just go along with it?). But now we are in a routine that seems to work for both of us and we have learned about each other’s interests enough that we can keep conversation going fairly easily.

But I’ve had a few other Spanish & Italian language partners that didn’t last just because we didn’t really click that well. So you might just need to work through the awkward but you can also look for another partner that makes conversation easier (though reliability is key and tough to find!).

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thanks! ill just have to keep trying then :slight_smile:

One of my Japanese teachers told me that talking about the weather is always a good ice breaker. :sweat_smile:

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Same here, it’s really difficult to have a real conversation.

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There could be a few things at play here-random thoughts that popped in my head when I read your post.
Although I’ve never looked for a language partner online, I expect some of these people think they can make some extra money by offering their Japanese language services without really thinking about what it takes to be a language partner.
Second, their own experiences as language learners may be affecting their idea of what to offer. I teach English to Japanese students and I literally have to teach them how to offer more in conversation-expand on answers, ask follow up questions. Their education has been completely, this is the question and this is the answer. No more, no less. Perhaps this filters through into their idea of a language partner.
Third, many Japanese can be reticent with new people, or even people they’ve known a long time. It takes a long time to get to know them. I have friends whom I’ve known for years and will learn something about them, that seems pretty important. Eg. One woman who I talk with almost every single week. I only recently found out she has a 6 month old grandchild! In the countless conversations I’ve had with her over the last year, not once did she mention about becoming a grandmother, shown me pictures. I really thought it strange.

Good luck with finding a good partner. I think it takes time and luck to find someone who offers what you need.

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My Japanese friends think it’s weird how how English people talk to random strangers about the weather…

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As a self diagnosed introvert, I also find that strange. :wink:

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As a self diagnosed introvert, I appreciate the existence of a method of diffusing awkward silences that requires no mental effort :upside_down_face:

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