There is nothing that you can say that applies to every single case of this that is true iirc, but in a vast majority of cases its primarily a matter of transitivity vs intransitivity. There will be some grammar nazis who will say that there is no transitive and intransitive, but all you have to know is that its a matter of if you’re doing x to something or if something is xing. Don’t worry about the technical bs
To give an example with raise/rise = 上げる/上がる, you raise your grades. Your grades rise. Your grades don’t raise and you dont rise your grades.
きたい is usually expecting a good thing, while よそう isn’t necessarily that
btw, don’t worry about these, you’ll meet a lot of words that have the same meaning, and it’s usually that there’s a very slight difference in meaning. You’ll either get to know these from immersion, or you’ll read it in a jp → jp dictionary once you have the vocabulary to do so