Wow that was fun
[Userscript]: Part of Speech Filter (for Self-Study Quiz)
Our Journey of Going Mad in 54 Days (+ The Ultimate Guide for Durtle Heaven)
Have you leveled up in February? We need your help
Our Journey of Going Mad in 54 Days (+ The Ultimate Guide for Durtle Heaven)
Houston I have a lot of problems but don't halp me
This post is used to share information about the current riddle. You can edit it, it’s a wiki.
New to the descent? You can read a recap here.
- @Masayoshiro (kanji->date->article)
- @Omun (first html comment)
- @matthieuesnault (more html comments)
- @rfindley (some book cipher keywords)
- @Masayoshiro (turn codes into kana using kana-entry IME)
- @Belthazar (turn kana into romaji, then pick letters from romaji to form URLs)
- @rfindley and @Leifytwig (pick letters from romaji to form book names)
- FlamySerpent (using Masayoshiro’s script to try keywords combinations)
- Liuyuan (discoved the messages in the level up emails)
- The good people of the WK community for being patient with us
- rfindley (descending all the way down to level 33 to gather emails)
- Hawkheart (transforming the clue with a Vignere cipher)
- Sylph (typing in the correct password)
Solved B5: Belthazar (just plain guessed the password on the second attempt)
Solved B6: Garuno (spotted the Surveymonkey link in the B6 URL)
Solved B7: magiconic (discovered the hidden option in the e-mail preferences)
Solved B8: @pensei (discovered the answer hidden in the image)
Puzzle text, starting from Lobby
Oh hello. Welcome to Durtle Heaven™. It truly is a Crabsmas miracle you came here today. You wish to descend into Durtle Heaven? That’s fine with me. I’m a pretty apathetic durtle. But, deeper durtles won’t be so easy. They will surely test you with their difficult jiddles. I’ve never gone deeper than B2, so my only advice is this: If you run into any trouble, make like your Review pile and don’t panic. That is the most important thing. Well, in you go. The password to get to B1 is quite easy. It, uh, rhymes with “ass-word.”
Whoa, where did you come from? You want to descend further into Durtle Heaven? Alright, I’m supposed to hand you one of these pieces of, uh, scripture. [ shqrywqjehi uqj rkjji ] Good luck with that, then.
Hey! Don’t scare me like that. I’ve got 91 things to worry about, and you’re just another one. Not to mention, I’ve got a new boss… She’s changing everything around, and I don’t like her at all. Speaking of mean things worth worrying about, here is your clue for the password to B3. [ ac b7 b4 ] [ 9b b5 a0 ] [ b0 b1 a1 ] If you can figure out what these nine pairs have in common you may be able to descend to continue your descent.
Oh. Hello there. So, you figured out that simple Caeser Cipher? I suppose Rome wasn’t built in a day, ha ha. And the Shift JIS riddle? Talk about dated! But, this durtle won’t be so easy on you. You see, I believe that this isn’t a place for Disciples of the Crabigator. You seek spiritual ascendence through your Lessons and Reviews. We seek physical descendence, and that is the key difference between you and I. We’re just a different type from you. Hearing that, do you still seek to descend deeper into Durtle Heaven? Very well, here is your next clue: [ 六乙泣競薬 ] Be warned, this is only the first step of many. Come back to me only when you’ve collected all four keywords. Say them in the correct order and I’ll let you through.
Hey, you there. Yeah you, the tall one. Can you reach down there and grab that password clue? I would need like, 240 durtles stacked underneath each other to reach all the way down there. But, you’re at least… 4x as tall as me! Oh, you can’t reach it either? How will we solve this problem? Oh well, you know what they say: Sometimes you gotta ascend to descend, you know? I sense a change, though… Perhaps your arrival has started something…
Hello my good friends! I'm B A A A C C K K K K K K It’s good to see you all again. Turns out humans just take a little longer to process.
B4: The complete story
|1||D||“Durtles?” I asked. “But that’s impossible.”|
|W||“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast,” said the queen.|
|2||W||“Well, I’ll need a crew,” I said.|
|U||“Unless it’s out of my power, Captain Bottomfingers, you may choose whoever you like.”|
|3||U||“Ugly Brodo is who I want, then––the greatest swordsman in the realm and captain of your guard.”|
|I||“I can’t let you have him,” said the queen.|
|4||I||“If you don’t let me take him, then you can find yourself another Digger,” I said.|
|R||“Really, I need some time to think it over. I’ll give you an answer in the morning.”|
|5||R||Ruminating upon the mission, I went back to my quarters.|
|D||Despite my belief that we will not come back alive, I began this journal to record our mission.|
|6||D||“Death and madness is what lies ahead,” is what they say.|
|T||“The lucky ones burned before the madness set in.”|
|7||T||"This journal shall serve as a guide for future Diggers.|
|T||This is my gift to future generations, should I not come back alive, or sane."|
|8||T||Tonight is my last chance to say goodbye to my family.|
|W||“Weemo, my sweet husband, take care of our lovely son Dumbledore, and our baby girl Chorp. Goodbye and goodnight.”|
|9||W||When I awoke, a man was standing over me.|
|G||“Got an answer from the queen,” he said. “Looks like I‘m coming with you.”|
|10||G||“Good news indeed!” I exclaimed.|
|E||“Every other swordsman claims these durtle shells are uncuttable,” said Ugly Brodo.|
|11||E||“Every other swordsman is not Ugly Brodo,” I assured him.|
|I||“It’s time to go find the rest of our crew,” I continued|
|12||I||In the morning, we began our search for crew members.|
|B||Blessed I was, for I could form the greatest Digger team in the history of our realm:|
|13||B||Bipple, the world’s tallest archer:|
|N||Nobody can shoot an arrow from as high up, but his aim leaves a little to be desired|
|14||N||Norman the wizard! Also happens to be the only wizard in the city.|
|U||“Unconventional and non-mainstream spells” are his specialty.|
|15||U||Ugly Brodo, of course, is our distinguished swordman.|
|I||If you stare him in the eyes, he feels uncomfortable.|
|16||I||I had my team of Diggers.|
|R||Righteous followers of the Crabigator, all!|
|17||R||Read my journal to learn how we succeed or fail.|
|I||Included from here is our story, starting from our arrival to the entrance of Durtle Heaven.|
|23||I||It was a particularly dark night, though as everyone knows it grows darker the closer one gets to the entrance.|
|N||Never has the sun touched around this place, like an anti-spotlight darkening down 30 meters around the hole.|
|33||N||Next to the hole–the entrance, we will call it–is another hole.|
|R||Reach in to your shoulder and you’ll feel a key pad.|
|34||R||“Rhymes with ass-word,” said the durtle who was standing there, next to the entrance.|
|W||“Where did you appear from?” asked Ugly Brodo. “Do you stand against us, follower of Big Durt?"|
|28||W||"We durtles stand aside for all who seek descension.|
|Z||Zebras, humans, monkeys, durtles, it matters not," the durtle said.|
|50||Z||“Zebras?” Norman asked quizzically. “Do you have many zebras seeking descension?”|
|E||“Every once in a while,” replied the durtle after a moment of thought.|
|21||E||“Ever been down there? Into Durtle Heaven, I mean”, said Norman to the entrance durtle.|
|Y||“Yes, I too attempted descension once. Made it all the way down to B2.”|
|42||Y||“You have any tips for folks like us? Advice, maybe?” said Bipple.|
|R||“Right now all I can say about that is this: Don’t panic,” said the durtle.|
|58||R||Rage gripped Ugly Brodo in that instant.|
|I||“I’d much like to skip this jiddle nonsense and go straight to answers. What is the password?"|
|55||I||“It rhymes with ass-word,” replied Norman in lieu of the trembling durtle.|
|I||“If I were to guess, I’d say the password is… ‘password.’"|
|44||I||It was indeed the password and we were allowed to descend.|
|B||B1 was open to us as soon as Norman put in the word.|
|19||B||“Bottomfingers… er… Captain Bottomfingers,” said Bipple, pointing at a durtle holding up a piece of paper.|
|S||“Scripture! Scripture is what you four need! While you read it, I will feed!”|
|47||S||“Seems to be a simple Caesar cipher,” said Norman.|
|D||“Don’t Panic… that was the advice we got. Shift the letters by 42 and… voila, the password is 'crabigators eat butts.”|
|22||D||“Definitely aint going to be that easy,” said Ugly Brodo.|
|E||Entered password accepted, said the key pad.|
|40||E||Everything had gone well up to this point. We were making quick progress.|
|I||It was when we reached B2 that everything began to fall apart.|
|26||I||“I’m Dingle, pleased to meet you,” said a human in a smart looking suit in B2.|
|D||“Don’t Panic,’ what a load of garbage, am I right?” he continued.|
|54||D||Dingle, short for Dingleton as it were, had been in B2 for several years.|
|V||“Very into descending I was, before,” he told us. “But I couldn’t figure out the jiddle and one thing led to another… Now I just kind of do managerial work for the durtles of B2."|
|32||V||“Vengeance against all who make it this far is definitely NOT my primary objective,” continued Dingle.|
|E||“Everything and anything you need, I am merely here to serve.”|
|49||E||Every password we tried was a failure. What were these numbers, and how were they related?|
|C||“Could be hexadecimal,” said Norman. If it was, none of the passwords were working.|
|39||C||“Can’t guess the password hmmm?” said Dingle one morning.|
|S||“Suppose I could help you out but you have to help me out.”|
|52||S||“Swordsman. I want the swordsman for my… personal consumption,” continued Dingle.|
|G||“Give him to me, and I’ll bypass the key pad and let you descend."|
|20||G||“Give him to you? What do you mean by that?” I asked. I was desperate though, so I continued to listen.|
|C||“Concern yourself not with trivial matters such as that. I’ll give you until tomorrow to decide, Captain Bottomfingers.”|
|41||C||Cursing Dingle’s name, I took the news to Ugly Brodo and the rest of the Diggers.|
|W||“Well, this could be an opportunity, now couldn’t it?” said Ugly Brodo to the group.|
|53||W||“We now know that Dingle over there has override codes. We could just force him to let us through.”|
|E||“Every durtle on B2 will be on us in an instant. There’s no way we could pull this off,” I said.|
|38||E||“‘Every durtle’ isn’t the realm’s greatest swordsman,” said Ugly Brodo. “You have my sword, Captain Bottomfingers."|
|Q||“Quite so,” replied Bipple. “And you have Bipple’s nipples. We should take the password by force. We have been attempting this jiddle for weeks with no progress to speak of."|
|45||Q||“Quench my blade’s thirst, Dingle will! Dingle! Dingle! Uncle Brodo is here for a visit!”|
|N||“No, we should plan this out first,” I said. But it was already too late. Ugly Brodo was walking towards Dingle with his sword drawn.|
|24||N||“Never mind the password, tell us the override,” demanded Ugly Brodo, sword to Dingle’s throat.|
|H||“Hold on, hold on, oh damn, no, hold on,” gulped Dingle. “I’ll put in the override.” True to his word, Dingle put in the override and the descension door opened.|
|59||H||“Help” was all Dingle could say before Dingle and Ugly Brodo were attacked.|
|D||Durtles from a hundred holes piled and clawed their way awkwardly onto Dingle and Ugly Brodo.|
|51||D||"Don’t let them take me,” said Ugly Brodo. “Don’t let them turn me.”|
|V||"Very well, it looks like it’s Bipple’s time to shine,” said Bipple, standing up tall and straight, pushing out his chest.|
|48||V||“Venerable Captain Bottomfingers, I must stay here. You and Norman must descend ahead of me.”|
|F||“Find the bottom for me… and for Ugly Brodo. We’ll be watching over you from your Review pile."|
|30||F||Fear gripped me as I realized what Bipple was saying. Norman pulled me through the descension hole, but I still saw everything.|
|Y||Yanking off his yellow t-shirt, Bipple’s nipples shown huge and bright.|
|27||Y||“Yes! Yes! Yes!” he screamed as his arrowheads grew huge and red. Then he screamed.|
|O||Out from Bipple’s nipples two arrows flew, striking their targets true.|
|37||O||“Okay, it looks like it’s old Bipple’s time to go,” he said.|
|P||Pouring forth from more hidden holes, durtles swarmed him. The last thing I saw before blacking out was a single, lifeless hand sticking out of a pile of durtles, in a thumbs up.|
|31||P||“Progress, we actually made some progress Captain!” Norman cast a spell to slap me with a bunch of Kale.|
|R||Reality came back suddenly. I was in B3, but two of my Diggers were dead.|
|56||R||“Rest assured they made their decisions by themselves. They knew the risks when they came here,” said Norman.|
|L||Life can be over in an instant. But was it worth two lives, not to mention even one, in order to descend? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move.|
|35||L||“Lucky guess?” asked a durtle carrying a long staff.|
|E||“Every time someone comes down here it’s a lucky guess, it seems like. Nobody seems to be able to repeat the password and they’re all crying about 'their friend was devoured, etcetera, this and that.’” I didn’t respond. It was time to get to work.|
|57||E||Eternity: that’s how I’d describe the time we spent in B3.|
|V||Verifying the letters of each textbook numbed me, but Norman took to it like a durtle to distraction.|
|29||V||Vowing to never sleep until he solved the jiddle, Norman never stopped.|
|V||Volatile he became, though as time went by. He’d lashed out at me when I tried to help.|
|18||V||Various answers came close, but we never got it exactly. One day, though, he said:|
|I||“I’ve got it. I solved it B3’s jiddle.”|
|46||I||Indeed, the password was correct, but Norman was not.|
|E||Enduring the stresses of this jiddle for so long stripped Norman to a blubbering, drooling, stump of a man.|
|25||E||Executing Norman was the most humane thing I could do. A knife to the durt, as they say, to make it quick.|
|M||Mental clarity is the most important thing, and we can’t have anyone insane going down to B4, right?|
|43||M||Millions have tried to come this far, and most have failed.|
|R||Right now, though, I sit on the cold floor of B4.|
|36||R||Realization comes to me–I’ve failed too: I can only hope to help those that come after me.|
|K||Knowledge of the password is hidden within my journal. I’ve watched hundreds of durtles come and go and I’ve figured it out.|
|60||K||Kindly take what I’ve written in this journal and look to each and every other line.|
|D||Disciples of the Crabigator should not trust the order of my entries after our arrival to Durtle Heaven, for that is when I believe the madness set in.|
|Signed Yours Truly,|
B4: Letters from the story lines
Extracting the next clue
The following letters were extracted from the first character of every 4th line of the story:
1 2 3 4 5 6 123456789012345678901234567890123456789012345678901234567890 D U R T W E B U R N W E R I S E D E S C E N D F O R E V E R W I D T G I N I I R Z Y I B D I V C G W Q H V Y P L V I M K
B4: The letters decrypted
Deciphering the clue
The letters extracted from the story are encrypted with a Vigenere Cipher.
Vigenere cipher: Assigning values to the alphabet... a=0, b=1, etc WIDTGINIIRZYIBDIVCGWQHVYPLVIMK -DURTWEBURNWERISEDESCENDFOREVER =TOMAKEMOREDURTLESYOUMUSTBURNIT <-- next clue in the puzzle e.g. W minus D equals T
B5: Direct URL and password
The final clue
From the cipher above, “To make more durtles, you must burn it”.
Direct link to the entrance to B5
B6: Direct URL and password
Direct link to the entrance to B6.
Password: “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 3”
B7: Direct URL
Direct link to the B7 survey.
The URL for B7 is hidden in the URL for B6:
B8: Via email only
After you fill out the survey on B7, you will (hopefully) receive an email. In the email, click the link “in your email profile settings”.
On the profile page, check the Durty Tim checkbox, and click “Update Profile”.
You will receive an email from firstname.lastname@example.org (you may want to whitelist this address).
Durty Tim says he would feel better about trusting you if you tell him “I’m not a cop”. Go back to your email profile settings and fill in the “Answer for Durtle Timothy” with “I’m not a cop”, and click “Update Profile”. You’ll receive another email.
In the new email, Durty Tim says he’ll “start sending you some good emails”.
Next email (“Who dis?”)
Email contents (image edited for size)
Subject: Who dis?
I’m on vacation in Hawaii right now. I made this sand sculpture, Do you know who it’s supposed to be?
I tried real hard to get it right. I think I really nailed the face.
P.S. I’m so glad we can be friends. I was getting lonely here in my durt cave, all alone.
The answer should again be entered in the “Answer for Durtle Timothy” field of the email profile settings (link)
Answer for Durtle Timothy: Thanos
After entering “Thanos”, you will (hopefully) receive an email with the subject line “THANOS”
body text here
Ha ha, you got it! It was THANOS.
I watched that Avengers movie sixty-four times, one for each of them. You’re so cool, I miss hanging out with you in the Durtle Den. Like, maybe you can take a break from getting deeper into durtle heaven for a bit and just chill with ol’ Uncle Durty Timothy? We could totally be best friends, I can feel it in my bones and shell.
B9: Via email
Shortly after receiving the “THANOS” email, you will (hopefully) receive an email with the subject line “Whoops”, stating that you are in B9, Durtle Heaven.
Ha! I mean - like, you are in Durtle Heaven now. B9, in fact! So I just meant take a break from the descending you’re doing already and just chilllll, you know? You’re in Durtle Heaven now, don’t worry.
Direct link to the entrance to B4
eGoooott unko eating turtle
Posts by a-regular-durtle and Koichi
Step 1: e-mails
Recent level-up emails contain secret messages.
@Kumirei created a thread to gather all the level emails here:
Have you leveled up in February? We need your help
Theory: Level 60 content
Since 240 divided by 4 equals 60, people have been looking at level 60 content to find hints.
The kanji mnemonic for 坑 (Pit) might be related to B4:
When you reach the bottom of the pit, you hear someone scuffling around and the sounds of chains. You light a match and inch closer to see what it is. In the darkness, you see こういち, starved and chained in a pit under your table.
After you’ve nursed こういち back to health, he explains that he was put here by a clone こういち–the very same こういち who became emperor. He tells you he can think of around 61-70 different pain levels of revenge, but also that “it probably wouldn’t be worth it, so let’s just hang out for a while instead. Ooh, are those cookies?”
See the posts by a-regular-durtle and koichi (section above) for more information.
Have you leveled up in February? We need your help
Lets do this
I have no idea what this is about but looking at the html code reveals quite a lot.
We should probably standardize what kind of hint we want to give people who don’t know what’s going on. I suggest 'Look at the crabsmas durtle really closely", and then if they join us in the B2 problem, welcome.
Let’s make sure to blur passwords, so people that want to do it for themselves aren’t spoiled!!
Should we really give out the passwords? I don’t like this
Well, it‘s blurred at least
If people get really stuck I think it would be kinda unfair to keep it to ourselves
did you really just draw this
What’s unfair is giving people a shortcut
You don’t have to look at the shortcut. It’s blurred out.
Of course not! I found it on Google images, what a coincidence
Wait … are we actually getting lower and lower into hell
… no… it’s Durtle Heaven… shhhhh