What is your biggest fear or the biggest experience you’ve been through?
Before 2020 let’s release all our problems and be supported.
Share what you need advice with and I’d love to help, let’s help each other with the best advice we can give out today!
What is your biggest fear or the biggest experience you’ve been through?
I’m making this post not because I particularly want or expect help from anyone, but because I feel like sharing.
My single biggest fear is that I’ll always be alone. I know I’m not really alone, but I feel alone, and that’s something that no amount of therapy has ever been able to resolve (at least, not yet).
In second place is the fear that my cerebral palsy and/or my depression will keep me from doing the things I really want to do—for example, I was supposed to visit Japan in college but couldn’t make the trip due to being severely ill with depression. As you might imagine, not being able to go made me feel worse. To this day I hate myself for not being able to make it there.
I guess that’s it. Sorry for being so negative in what’s meant to be a positive thread.
If you haven’t watched this TV show yet, I highly recommend it, it’s called “Special”. Special is a comedy about a gay man with cerebral palsy and how it effects his day to day life.
I know what it’s like to go through a rough time, being depressed and sad that it starts interfering with your daily life, I’ve been there. I used to be that person, used to deal with it myself, cry myself to sleep and even lose sleep because of it, it was awful and you know what I used to think?
-That no one could help me too. But no doubt I was wrong. There are always ways that the universe will use to help you even when you don’t realize.
From what I know now, you’re the bravest person ever as out of the 69 views on this thread, you stepped forward and that’s bravery, that’s you voicing out even when you think no one can help, but that’s not true. Remember this phrase: ‘You are what you constantly think that creates your belief’
No matter how hard it seems, I want you to push yourself out of that mentality of being trapped, step out of that safe zone as you will become happier and even if you don’t think so, go for it and realize it yourself for experience is the best teacher.
Here’s my advice for you, but it’s up to you to make a change in your life and I believe you can do it, I believe the year 2020 will be a spin around for you.
I advise you to learn to meditate, learn meditation whether online or anywhere, the best way to start learning is on YouTube, and don’t say anything negative about this, you need to try it first. Obey before complain. If you don’t start, you won’t understand. I wish you the best of luck in your life, and may you be blessed. Your bravery is truly remarkable, if only people could be more like you, the world will be more aware.
Have a blessed day, and if you ever need anyone to talk to or a Japanese learner buddy, let me know
Thank you both for replying. I will look into Special.
As for meditation, I do it when I’m relaxing to break free of my negative thought patterns, and it generally helps, at least for a little while, but some days it doesn’t. Today must be one of those days.
Unfortunately, depression isn’t something you can just take off like a sweater and set aside. It lingers. It waits for your weakest moments and attacks. I’m not saying this to be negative—it’s just a fact. I am being treated for it, but even my therapist knows that every day is hard.
Regardless, I will consider these suggestions.
I’m afraid to be able to read and to understand writings in Japanese.
When you find yourself at those weakest moments, uplift yourself. And ask yourself why and what is making you weak. Analyse the answer, and strengthen yourself. You’re giving in to depression by saying it attacks you at your weakest moment. There is no such thing as a weak moment, it’s how we feel and how we deal with that feeling at that time.
Step into your power and believe that there are no weakest moments, analyse everything you feel and think at that time and try to make it better. Smile to yourself even when you feel like crying, repeat this: ‘I am loved and I love’ ‘I am free’
Listen to music, talk to someone, make yourself busy if you cannot sit still and analyse your thoughts and feelings, but you must learn to face them, that is how you deal with depression step by step, gradually. It might seem hard, but don’t believe it’s hard, period. Stay in your power. Believe that if you’re not in your power something bad will happen, so fight for it.
It’s okay. Don’t be afraid of anything, there’s nothing to be afraid of, the first step is to try and learn, and do your best and if you’re passionate and detetmined, you’ll suceed, if not maybe you need to work on your priorities. But if you really want to do it, then plan well. Start with a daily simple plan or goal to learn something in Japanese even just 5 words per day, or 5 sentences per day, start with something and you’ll see yourself catching up with time. Don’t rush. To truly learn and master, takes time.
I learnt Spanish in two years, everything takes time, it could take 3 or 4 years, but you will eventually get there if you’re willing to.
That’s a great analogy. Depression really is the worst. It’s good that you acknowledge it for what it is and work to not let it define you though. It’s an exhausting and gruelling battle, but you’re awesome for fighting it!
Hi there. Thank you for sharing your experience, you’re brave!
Remember the first step is to accept yourself for who you are, don’t chase anyone, the right person will walk into your life and you will blend well with them. If you have to constantly impress someone, then they probably aren’t the one, but you know when you know. It’s amazing that you’re working on yourself, we need to help ourselves become our best versions and our energies will draw the right people in. As we pursue our passions, we will discover friends and people from our niche that will add value to our lives as we return add value to theirs. True and real friendships are hard to come by nowadays, people just wanna be friends just because they want something from you, but find a real friend who values you for who you are and you’ve found a precious gift. But you must first learn to value yourself.
Best of luck with your career and I wish you great success in the year 2020. Remember, no worries, keep doing what you do and learn to accept that quirky side of you, it makes up who you are, it’s why you’re unique.
Recently I was (not clinically) depressed. It doesn’t happen to me often, but it went on for weeks. I kept trying to get my husband to help me, but no matter what he said he made it worse and I kept feeling more and more misunderstood. Then I felt detached from family and friends, and I finally settled on the narrative that with or without these relationships I was truly alone.
Then at some point, I realized I was dwelling in what I named “the realm of impossibility”. Meaning that, I felt like everything was out of my control, including how I deal with my emotions, perceive circumstances or am affected by the world around me. I felt like it was impossible to solve any of my problems. And worse, it felt like there was something separate from me that wanted to stay that way, in pain and weirdly satisfied that I don’t have to go on finding solutions because they don’t exist. A deep state of nihilism.
Then one day, I decided that I wanted to believe in possibility, in the idea that I do not live in a world where everything is impossible. And I slowly recovered.
What sparked that willingness to believe I wonder? It didn’t come from others, it came from me. But once I began to see things in that manner, slowly everything felt attainable.
Hope you find that spark. I don’t know what it is, but sometimes I feel like they capture that feeling in anime (oh no, my inner otaku came out ).
This year I talked through a lot of tough subjects with people close to me. Next year I want to be brave and continue to talk about tough matters! And try to understand/be understood better.
God bless you. Your positivity is outstanding. Keep spreading the positivity and your life will be truly blesssed, filled with abundance, peace and love. The key is to share this love with others and visualise it every single day in your life without ever losing it no matter what. Even if it’s true self love which is appreciation for your existence, make sure love keeps you going, and your day will never fail to be brighter.
Thanks. I hope so too.
I hope no one minds that I’m replying to posts here . . . I don’t want to make this entire thread about me. But I have no way of sending a private message as a thank you.
I don’t know whether I believe in possibility anymore. I wish I did, but after I missed out on that trip I felt like I lost a part of myself. I don’t currently know whether I will ever have that opportunity again, which is why I’m still depressed about it ten years later. I’m only thirty years old, but I fear that I won’t ever get another chance because of my disability.
Aging is bad enough on its own, but with CP it’s even worse. A doctor recently reminded me that I could lose the ability to walk (which I worked hard to obtain) in my forties or fifties. (CP isn’t a progressive condition, but I could lack the energy to walk when I’m older.) How am I going to get around Japan if I can’t walk?
I saw this on the BBC awhile ago and thought it was really informative.
Japan has a long way to go in terms of accessibility, but thankfully the Olympics has caused a lot of improvement in Tokyo at minimum.
Thank you so much for this! It gives me some hope. If Mr. Grisdale can live in Tokyo then maybe I can at least visit . . . though I hope there are other places I can see too! I’ll have to check his blog. Hopefully by the time I can visit Japan will be more accessible!
The 90% accessibility for public transit is something that made me happy to hear, especially compared to the <1% accessibility for hotels. And train attendants are exceptionally helpful in Tokyo since there are so many tourists.
Plus, if you have a traveling partner who doesn’t mind carrying a portable ramp for places that have that small step at the entrance, more restaurants become accessible!
So overall, I say you have plenty of stuff to research and planning to do in 2020.
This is one reason why traveling in a group, like I was supposed to do, would be ideal. But my current hope is to visit Japan with my boyfriend (he wants to visit too) . . . I don’t know when that will be, but I shouldn’t need a ramp to get over that front step as long as he’s there to help me. But if he didn’t mind carrying such a thing, that would help.
All I can do for now is keep exercising to keep my body strong, so that when I can visit, I can get around without too much trouble.
(To the OP and anyone else reading—I’m so sorry for taking over the thread! Please don’t be discouraged from posting because of me.)
This year I feel I was forced to face a lot of my deepest fears head on and somehow made it through the other side. It’s hard to explain but I feel…freer somehow. Like I have this assurance in my heart that no matter what happens, I will be able to survive it. That my problems will eventually reach a resolution as I continue working on them. This year I travelled through Japan on my own for a month, despite my disability. I learned a lot about myself and what I’m capable of.
@CharStar23 I know what the loneliness and intense depression is like, especially when you’re also managing health issues. Lemme know if you wanna chat sometime. I’m rooting for you to make it to Japan someday too!
I’m glad you made it out of the dark I find that anime sometimes captures that feeling too, especially sports anime with the focus on characters improving and developing new skills. I’ve been thinking of making a sort of mental health thread with this kind of focus
My favorite for those emotionally visceral scenes is Evangelion And most recently the Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya.
Which sports animes do you like?
I’ve been watching Evangelion but it tends to make me feel more depressed so I have to be in an okay mood for it. Still need to watch Haruhi. My favourite sports anime is Haikyuu which I started watching about 6 months into learning Japanese. Feels like I’ve grown and changed along with the characters. I watched it a lot while in Japan to get through the difficult days. After 4 years, they’re finally starting the new season next month