You’ve practically burnt yourself out by going full speed for a long time. It’s no fun anymore because it feels like a chore.
You are just overwhelmed. You’ve not noticed where your boundaries lay and you’ve pushed and pushed yourself to exhaustion. Nothing, or, well, hardly anything is enjoyable when it slowly transitions into a chore. You end up having no drive or passion for the topic you once loved.
You loved it and it was real. You still do because you are upset over the idea of quitting. It hurts you a lot to even have written that I’m sure.
slow down ともだち!.
Pace yourself. Loving something isn’t about sacrificing yourself for it.
Re-configure. Take a step back, maybe write down all your frustrations, play a game of tennis, eat your favourite cheese, make a scarf, grow a flower, eat 75% coco instead of 45% milk chocolate, whatever hobby, food, thing you like - do it and take a rain-check.
Leaving it alone for a while to decompress might just be the recipe. Come back when you are ready and start slowly, as slowly as you need. I mean look at sloths - they’re super slow but I’ll be damned if I’ve much seen a less happier animal.
From: someone who knows exxxaaaactly what it’s like to wind herself up to exhaustion. Many, many, so many years of experience. I empathise wholeheartedly.