Language Exchange experience

My first language exchange partner is now my friend of nine years and girlfriend of 10 months. :grin:

We are lucky to live in the age of the Internet where itā€™s so easy to communicate with people far away, so why not take advantage of it. Especially with Skype, Discord, and the enormous amount of apps out there, itā€™s incredibly accessible.

One of the key weaknesses I noticed of most ALTs who came to Japan at the same time as me is, not matter how well they could listen, write, and/or read, most froze up or needed to speak very broken, slow Japanese because they werenā€™t accustomed to it. Even speaking drills alone will only develop a very mechanical, unnatural speech.

I think the one thing to consider is how much personal information to provide with language partners. Regardless of distance, itā€™s very easy to do a lot with information, and not everyone out there has good intentions, unfortunately. :expressionless:

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Donā€™t get me wrong, I like Japanese girls as much as the next guy, but I think going in with a hidden agenda to attempt to get dates is the exact kind of thing that turns many people off from doing this so I am very explicitly not considering it. Since sheā€™s married, itā€™s not really a concern for her in this case, but she did admit she was worried I wouldnā€™t be a nice person.

I used to be incredibly protective of even small pieces of personal information online, but Iā€™m not quite as strict about it now. These language exchange conversations are a bit more personal than a lot of online talk, so Iā€™m willing to be more open in a one-on-one setting like this.

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Oh, it wasnā€™t my intention to say one should try to get dates! In fact, I had no intention of dating my current girlfriend until we finally met in person and I moved to Japan, so seeing each other was actually reasonable. Personally, Iā€™ve always been the old-fashioned friends-first type of person, so casually hunting for dates is in no way my style. :rofl:

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There are Japanese dating apps for people that are specifically looking for that kind of thing. Itā€™s how I met my girlfriend. Iā€™m not sure what using them from outside of Japan would be like though.

THANK YOU! Shadowing is cool, but pleaseeee go outsideee and talk to peopleeeeeee

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Same gender, maybe? Just saying :man_shrugging:

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That doesnā€™t stop some people.

cough

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Well, but people wonā€™t assume it as much :stuck_out_tongue:

Last night was our first Japanese day. Like with her English last week, it took some time to poke around and figure out exactly what level I am at and where to start. This being my actual first time speaking Japanese to anyone, I went in with the expectation of struggling and struggle I did.

I pulled up Genki and we ended up doing many of the partner practice exercises in the book that I didnā€™t have anyone to try with before. It took some bumbling around to get to this point, but going through them finally got us on course. This method cut down a lot of the vocab to words I knew and gave us a focus. There was absolutely no chance of me being able to hold an actual conversation in Japanese, but with this focus, we were able to stick to Japanese for extended periods of time without having to revert back to English every other sentence.

We had an hour for the actual practice and another 15 minutes for review, discussion, and planning for next week. Iā€™ve made sure to keep us to this schedule because it is incredibly tiring for both of us and overdoing it is what can lead to burnout.

Lessons learned: first, use time wisely. Since next week will be helping her with English again, I only get 1 hour every 2 weeks and I need to get the most out of it that I can. Diving right into the Genki lessons wouldā€™ve saved time and pain. Second, donā€™t try to do everything in Japanese when Iā€™m not at a level that allows it. It feels like cheating, but there just isnā€™t any other way to do it until I get to a functional level. Third, Iā€™m definitely not at a functional level. Lastly, while it has taken some figuring out, the structure weā€™re using works great.

I was hoping dealing with my incredibly low Japanese level wouldnā€™t be too much of a burden for her, but she said she enjoyed it. Many of us native English speakers are very used to dealing with non-native speakers, but that was the first time she has spoken to someone non-native in Japanese. Any foreigners she has met always insisted on English, so just making an attempt at Japanese was exciting for her.

I would recommend this to everyone, even if you are at a lower skill level like I am. The worse you are, the better your language partner has to be, but thereā€™s just so much you canā€™t get unless you make the jump to actual conversations and youā€™re never going to get good unless you start sometime, so why not now?

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I forgot to write about 2 weeks ago and unfortunately I got pulled into a work event last week and was forced to cancel, so yesterday was the first day in 2 weeks.

2 weeks ago was English only again. She gave me a list of different conversation starters and wanted me to pick from them and just mainly practice her conversation skills. The questions I picked were things like, ā€œwhat is your favorite room in your house.ā€ They were interesting things to talk about - Iā€™m certainly someone who could talk for a long time about basically anything, but from my perspective itā€™s not all that challenging to her. She tells me it is, saying ā€œIā€™m simplifying and thereā€™s a lot Iā€™m not able to say,ā€ but I feel like the way to help her improve would be to give her something more challenging.

What might help is if I can get some news articles or short essays for her to read out loud, maybe even TOEFL prep material too, because as far as I know she hasnā€™t taken it and it would be a good idea for her to try it, at least as a measure of progress. I will be the first one to argue that tests arenā€™t perfect representations of ability, especially in language, but they provide a good metric and give you clear goals on what to learn.

Yesterday, in our Japanese meeting, I decided to focus specifically on speaking and pronunciation. I read off some of the earlier conversations in Genki for the first few chapters and created sentences based off some pictures. I was very glad I did this, because she pointed out areas where I noticeably interjected English pronunciation. 恗 in particular I was pronouncing as ā€œsheeā€ with a very strong ā€œshā€ sound. This meant speaking å±±äø‹ sounded like yamashhhhhta. After watching her mouth, I realized itā€™s a completely different mouth movement than I was doing. I was giving a good approximation, but I realized I need to go back and really practice this again.

While Iā€™m glad she finally figured out what skill level Iā€™m at, since I canā€™t really hold a conversation, itā€™s difficult for her to be able to reply with much more than 恝恆恧恙 or just repeating what I said, so I feel the best use of my time for right now is spending more time on pronunciation and reading. When I have a stronger ability to read and speak, then we can start focusing more on listening later. By that point, I should have a better ability to reply back. Listening is definitely something Iā€™m very weak on, but I think itā€™s better to do one thing at a time and get good at that, rather than trying to get good at everything at once.

Like everyone, I have moments of ā€œI know everything!ā€ and ā€œI know nothingā€¦ā€ though in my case, the latter is much more frequent. Iā€™ve been using the self-study script (thanks @rfindley) to really start pushing my WK level times down. I finished the last two in 9ish days and Iā€™d like to get that down to 8 or even 7. I promised myself I would re-attempt reading once I hit level 16, so now that Iā€™m here, itā€™s my next to-do. Iā€™ll try reading some for our next Japanese meeting.

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I have a similar thing at the moment. I have a few language friends and I talk about different interests with each of them but oneā€¦ we just clicked. We have a lot in common to the extent we can talk about really complex concepts despite the language barrier. On a recent holiday to Japan we spent an amazing day together, then she asked me for dinner a few days laterā€¦ since then weā€™ve had an annoying, sleepless long-distance thing with calls and messages most hours of the day and nightā€¦ ēœ ć„šŸ’¤ā€¦ but sheā€™s coming to see me in August and weā€™ll take it from there. It seems like sheā€™s taking it seriously though because Iā€™ve been grilled by her sister to make sure Iā€™m good enough haha

Like you though, a relationship was the last thing on my mind, but when you meet the right person I guess you have no control over your heart.

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How is your grammar and general vocab? I found that to be a bigger barrier to reading than lack of kanji, especially when messaging - my language exchange friends use more kana than I expected and just because itā€™s normal for them. Any kanji you donā€™t know, look them up then make sure to learn those. In many ways, itā€™s a more functional approach than WK as far as understanding everyday written Japanese.

Like a lot of people on WK, my vocab level is noticeably better than grammar. With being at level 16, I have 95% of N4 vocab according to wkstats, but I wouldnā€™t be confident in taking the JLPT at that level because of not knowing a lot of the grammar to match.

I look at studying Japanese a lot like when Iā€™m at the gym - Iā€™m still very low level, everyone around me is way better, but Iā€™m a lot further along than when I started and the process itself is itā€™s own reward.

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Oh for sure; that stuff is hard! And as you say, youā€™ve clearly made lots of progress (youā€™re level 16! ć‚ˆćć§ćć¾ć—ćŸļ¼). All I meant was you might be surprised at how much you can read if you give it a crack (although I just read your post again and noticed that youā€™re going to be doing that anyway). A really useful tip I learnt was translate the start and end of a sentence so you have the subject and main verb, then just work back from the verb. Itā€™s not fool-proof but it makes understanding more complex things much easier (and Iā€™m not sure why this explanation isnā€™t more common in teaching materials).

If youā€™re interested, this is the youtube channel I got this tip from https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBSyd8tXJoEJKIXfrwkPdbA and it has a lot of really good videos on grammar. Likeā€¦ really, really good.

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Iā€™ve been subbed to her for a while now. Itā€™s really only now that I feel I can get something out of most of her videos. I have so many study resources to keep up with. I really need to push through to just finish Genki I. I got through most of it, but still spend a lot of my time on WK over it.

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Hehe, ā€œpush throughā€ is probably right. Those books are great, but if youā€™re not into book-learning theyā€™re a slog.

Itā€™s more that I can study WK at work heh heh so it takes little effort to keep up with my reviews, but I canā€™t get Anki or Genki on my laptop, so those have been falling behind.

Just dropping some motivation in here in case any of you need :slight_smile:

On the 25th of May, people were talking on the poll thread about finding a language partner. I decided to show people that itā€™s possible to get good friends if you try. Sent a message to 3 people: only 1 replied back. Weā€™ve been talking daily for 25 days already and we have yet to miss a day :wink:

The days marked in black show that there was message exchange that day.

Daily? Thatā€™s a lot of time to ask of one person. Youā€™re flirting with them arenā€™t youā€¦

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Heyā€¦ I donā€™t flirt with everything that movesā€¦ Just once in a whileā€¦

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