agreed! i feel like with japanese as a foreign language, instructors really dont give enough emphasis on how there are lots of synonyms to words that have different connotations, just like english. like in your example, is it tasukeru? tetsudau? sukuu? enjo suru? who knows?
deffff takes a while
Hey hey hey, late replyer here. Most of this has already been said (just read through most of the thread), but I feel like responding, so here goes 
Kanji are a relatively straightforward part of learning Japanese, if your goal is just to be able to read them. Once you encounter a kanji in one compound (例: 開発) and learn its on’yomi (例: はつ), you can usually read the kanji in a different compound (例: 出発) and guess at the reading/meaning (or be able to look it up easily). Of course there are exceptions (例: 発作ほっさ), but once you get used to learning vocab, those are generally easy to pick up. Kun’yomi tend to be a little harder, since you can’t infer the pronunciation from the on’yomi. So when you encounter the same kanji as a standalone noun, or adjective/verb (例: 発く)with okurigana, you might have a vague sense of its meaning, but not know how to read it.As @Leebo said, the further you dive into the aspects of the language, the more difficult it gets.
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I go to a language class where the teacher focuses mainly on teaching us to speak well. He teaches six 3 hour classes at different levels each week (and I try to go to at least half of those each week: 1 on my level N4/N3, one above my level N2/N1, and one below my level N5/beginners).
He has a basic rule about what he expects of each class. Using Minna no Nihongo as a base for teaching grammar, doing Dutch to Japanese translations and roleplay, the lower level classes have to more or less get their meaning across. Up to chapter 18/19 classroom notes are written in romaji (he projects a word document on the wall, where he keeps a running list of vocab that comes up, and highlights mistakes and grammar point made throughout the classtime). From about chapter 18/19 notes are kept in kanji/kana with furigana.
When the class gets to the second book, he not only expects you to get your meaning across, but also be grammatically correct (of course grammar gets drilled extensively before then, too. And you are not expected to be able to produce any grammar not yet covered, of course). We also start watching dorama in class for additional listening practice, highlighting certain useful vocabulary and thereby dramatically increasing the vocab you are expected to know (and get drilled on, by way of a vocab/conjugation quiz at the start of each class). Also about halfway through the second book, he stops automatically adding furigana to the notes.
By the third book he not only corrects you on grammar, but overall style, like “this sentence is technically correct, but not how a Japanese person would say it”. At this point also many of the students have started to delve into their own interests in Japanese.
For example, one seito (that got his N1(!) last summer) is very knowledgable about classical Japanese, reads obscure novels and often comes to class with difficult questions that take the teacher a while to answer, hahaha.
Another is very active on twitter and online Japanese communities to do with animation/illustration, and as such has a very different kind of proficiency. She never focussed on learning kanji, but is able to communicate in Japanese very effectively.
A third one actually already had a bachelor in Japanese before coming to this classroom, and actually teaches his own classes in Japanese.
I think this accurately portays the increasing difficulty you can expect in any aspect of the language. The farther you get into it, the more challenges you can take on.
This turned out to be quite a long post and I am not sure if it even is a valid response to the original question.
(And maybe it even turned into an advertisement for my teacher’s language school?)
So tl;dr: kanji are as difficult as you want to make them, also depending on your goal with Japanese.
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(Disclaimer: I only consider myself ~intermediate learner, so take this with a grain of salt.)
While I found Kanji to be hard, it’s not the hardest part for me. The hardest, by far, is listening (and actually comprehending while listening). The second hardest is speaking with proper pronunciation and pitch accent. On third place for me is vocabulary (and this includes kanji). I know enough grammar, but my vocab is still fairly weak. Note that I say vocab here as it is more holistic than just kanji. There are many common vocab without kanji (WaniKani won’t teach you any of these) and knowing them is useful in understanding a passage.
Grammar itself isn’t super hard, but make sure you do know them. They get more subtle later on and can affect meaning significantly.
Also, Japanese is unique (at least compared to the other languages I know or have learned) in that the language transmits a lot more information than what is written and spoken, even at the most basic level! There is a high level of subtlety. And some of them are reflected by subtle change in grammar (even basic ones, like using は instead of が). This is increasingly becoming harder and harder for me as the stuffs I read and listen no longer contains straightforward sentences aimed at learners.
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Okay, until you said speaking was the most difficult part. To me Japanese is easier to speak than any other language I have come across. With very few words and minimal grammar you can make yourself understood, and as your exposure increases it becomes easier and easier. The only part of speaking I struggled with was the extremely formal stuff and the only listening that gets me down is when staff everywhere are completely flummoxed when asked to speak plainly!
Create situations where you HAVE TO speak and don’t learn ANY grammar without speaking it out loud regularly!
Listening in Japanese (and all other languages I suppose) falls into two categories. Understanding what people are saying to you, and following what is being said that does not involve you. The first is generally easy and the second very difficult for a long time. I learnt mainly by immersion with some lessons and text books thrown in for good measure. In all circumstances where you are not a client, Japanese spoken to you will be pretty simple, and where it is not (I remember many long ‘conversations’ at formal banquets) it is really simple to fake it with appropriate interjections!
Hear first, speak second, read third and write fourth is the order language is best learnt IMHO.
AMEN! Crazy difficult, I was famous for replying in the register I was spoken to. NOT good in a hierarchical society when you greet the mayor with a casual “domo”!
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