I think you both, @ms12345 & @morteasd are right. The only reason I even began to study kanji before grammar or vocab is due to the tofugu guide, This one, which implores you to first learn hiragana, kanji and katakana, before doing grammar and vocab, partially because they claim that you NEED kanji to be able to read the textbooks and that you should know 80% of the vocab/kanji before starting because otherwise it will be futile. So of course I ended up feeling like I NEED to know kanji before I can start learning grammar and vocab. Because how could I learn those things if I can’t read a text book?
That combined with the fact that it promises that the first kanji part takes onli 1 - 3 months, and that you’ll learn the reast in a bit of a year, made me really hopeful. This probably contributes to my frustration and feeling of inadequancy, the fact that they say that you are supposed to be able to just hit these off like it’s nothing and then coming here and reading how fast people are doing things. I am by nature really emotional person and take a lot of things personally and the promises of fast learning, other people doing things fast and the constant ‘-apprentice’ and such messages have just gotten to me.
And this isn’t the first instance this is an issue in my life. My graduation diploma from basic school (peruskoulu) is horrible because of this. A lot of rote memorization of subjects which I am not at all good at. This resulted me in reading chapters from school books over and over again, my parents quizzing me, me not remembering the answers, my parents telling me that I’m in wrong, me becoming really frustrated due to the issues already described, me not learning the subjects, failing an exam, being scolded by parents, feeling either frustrated or like failure. And thats how I ended up with 6.45 average on 4 - 10 scale (4, failure, 10, best).
I wish there was a positive feedback mode for wanikani. Something where, for example, after review session, it would give you message like ‘you already know 60% of the vocab! You’re doing great!’ and such. That would help a lot since it would give positive reinforcement and would dull the failure part.
Anyway, I am supposed to be working on my novel and here I am. If I can ask you two, are there sources for grammar and vocab you recommend for a person who only knows hiragana? Preferably one that would have keigo/non-keigo information and colloqual speak information too but that’s no hard limit. As long as I could build some sort of baseline from which build towards fluency/ability to read would be greatly appreciated!