So, this will be an interesting post, on the eve of my 100th study log no less.
I’ve been immersing daily for a week or a bit more now. I went the immersion route sometime early last year too. Back then, I stopped, and then actually stopped Japanese altogether, because I came to the decision that I wasn’t actually enjoying Japanese immersion. The fire had sort of gone out. After years of stopping and starting Japanese, I decided that perhaps it was more of a passing stage of my life to dive into it rather than a long term goal. At the time, I actually set aside all languages (spring last year I think), and I entered into a period of serious reflection on language study. In June, I returned to language study with French, which was exceptionally enjoyable and successful. Now, after returning to Japanese and immersion three months ago, I find myself in a similar position to spring last year: losing motivation, losing interest, simply not enjoy it much. So, the question is: should I stop studying Japanese permanently?
Rather than just stop, I started looking through the forums for what other people had written regarding their examination of the same question, and after reading several helpful posts I quickly discovered that I had actually written about the topic in December 2017 in the Retro thread. Back then, I essentially said that it was something I wanted to achieve (that is, some degree of Japanese fluency). I didn’t have a clearer goal than that. What happened was predictable - I continued the cycle of stopping and starting that I’ve written about in far more detail in the Retro thread.
Now, when studying French - and also previously Latin and Greek - I had clear goals. By that I mean, clarity regarding the specific content I would consume in the language. I enjoy that content in those languages. If you’ve been following this study log you know I also dabbled in Spanish but without a clear goal - it was more of a curiosity. But lacking a specific goal, as I have for French (classic French literature, specific podcasts), Latin (classic Latin authors, possibly Catholic material), and Greek (classical Greek authors, possibly the Greek Bible), Spanish was only ever going to be a curiosity so I didn’t spend much time on it. The clear goals in the other language fueled me, and I gained immense enjoyment consuming the desired content.
For Japanese, however, I can’t articulate a clear goal, even after studying it on and off since 2013. News? Generally boring. Anime/manga: honestly, I’m fine with Japanese audio and English subs. Literature? I know nothing about Japanese literature and in any case I adore European literature. Philosophy? I wouldn’t know where to start, and I know enough about philosophy to know the exceptional level of linguistic skill a person needs to possess to appreciate the material, a level I see no reason to think I would ever have the motivation to achieve in Japanese. I’ve certainly gained a lot from the study, but back then when I started in 2013 I was somewhat open to the possibility of actually moving to Japan at some point. And I had a deep curiosity for the language. But I’ve satisfied the curiosity, I won’t ever move to Japan (I don’t want to at this point), and my motivation to consume content via immersion burns out within two weeks each time I try it.
This leaves me seriously considering ceasing all Japanese study permanently, resting content in the knowledge that I dabbled in the language, satisfied my curiosity, can read some material and consume some audio content, and just moving on to other things.
However, I am also conscious that there is something of an itch associated with the language, something that warns me not to give up entirely. It’s similar to the itch I have for Greek, which I haven’t kept up nearly as much as Latin.
So, I am left with three options:
- Permanently cease all Japanese study (or at least provisionally intend that it be permanent).
- Continue as I am, spending around 3 hours per day on the language.
- Find a middle ground.
The case of each is fairly simple:
- Experience has taught me I’ve reached the point of being comfortable closing this chapter of my life.
- Perhaps I can find some clear motivation.
- Hedging - lacking clarity to pursue 1 or 2 at the moment, radically reduce workload but don’t fully give up yet, just in case I come to regret it.
Something I’ve noticed over the past three months since returning to Japanese study is that I miss a sort of comfort and joy that I took in consuming French content. From June to October/November I had a solid schedule of reviews, reading, and video watching. I embraced so much about the language and culture and found myself truly happy with it. Drinking coffee in the morning while watching videos from the French countryside, afternoons reading French history, breaks at work reading Jules Verne, etc. It’s not just about the French language as such - it’s that I enjoyed a language far more than I currently enjoy Japanese. And I’m curious whether I can gain the same level of enjoyment that I have with French from another language (for instance, Italian) and enjoy that other language more than I enjoy Japanese - and in order to pursue that question I would have to largely set aside Japanese.
What to decide? Honestly, I’m scared to simply abandon Japanese entirely. I’m concerned that would be a terrible mistake. As a matter of prudence, I don’t think I should do that. I’m also certain that I would have to force myself to continue studying Japanese in the way I do right now, rather than doing it out of fire for the goal or passion for the experience. And that’s not how I want to live. I find myself feeling rushed since I upped by Japanese study, rushed and burdened. I don’t like that. I didn’t feel that way with French. So, the reasonable response to the calling of prudence and motivation is to adopt the middle ground. And if I’m to adopt a middle ground, the most reasonable middle ground is to abandon all Japanese study except Wanikani - focus on completing Wanikani.
Why that path? Well, partly because I never hit 60. The closest I got was 53 or 54. I’d like to look back on my life and say I completed it. But also because Wanikani would give me that all-important foundation in kanji that nothing else seems to be able to give me. Wanikani also happens to be a measurable and self-contained project where the entire path is mapped out, which reduces cognitive burden.
So, I think I’m going to sleep on the matter. It’s late here. I’ve just enjoyed a cigar and I’m almost done with a glass of whiskey. The house is quiet. I’ll watch another episode of the X-Files, get to bed, rise in the morning, enjoy a pot of coffee, and make a decision. But if I decide to take the middle ground, then I’m going to stick with that path - I’m going to complete WK this year, and I’m going to make the follow up decision at that point. And if I do take the middle ground, I plan to continue maintaining the study log but adapt it to my circumstances. It might become a bit more contemplative. Perhaps I’ll reincorporate other languages. We’ll see what the morning brings.
