April 5
Final Fantasy VII
Vocabulary
- 無愛想 = ぶあいそう unsociable, unfriendly, blunt.
- 一遍に = いっぺんに all at once, at the same time.
- かつら = wig.
- うろつく = to loiter, to walk around without a purpose.
- しゃがむ = to squat.
- 消毒 = しょうどく sterilisation, disinfection.
- 悪党 = あくとう villain, scoundrel (or a group of).
- 維持 = いじ maintenance, preservation (of a situation, etc).
- 部門 = ぶもん divison (of a larger group), branch, department.
I wanted to keep playing today but I had already played for like 2h and, even though I don’t really want to limit myself, I feel like it might lead to burnout eventually, so I preferred to save at a convenient spot and call it a day. I’d like to reach a point where I can consume Japanese without it draining my brain like I can do with English, but I’m definitely not in that spot yet, and I don’t think I will be there either any soon. Perhaps when I reach a point where I don’t encounter as many new words any more, so like I said, it will take a long while xd.
Also I keep encountering words that I think I should have absorbed by now but definitely have not. I suppose these are my leeches, words or grammatical constructions that I keep coming across over and over every now and again that I just can’t simply assimilate. I try to always look up things in the J-J dictionary, but if I don’t understand the definition for lack of vocabulary/grammar, well then it’s no use. I consult the J-E dictionary in those cases, and in some, I still can’t seem to grasp the meaning or how it’s used. I suppose it’s just a matter of coming back to them at some point with more overall knowledge until it unlocks to you and it makes sense. It’s not the first time this has happened and it’s sometimes over simple words or constructions too. I struggled with the different types of よう grammar constructions for the longest time, until they sort of clicked finally.
I suppose it’s just time, but sometimes it’s like: seriously, brain? We’ve gone through this waaaaaay too many times ;-; pls learn. I know I will eventually learn a lot and always try to enjoy the process, but the process is sometimes so frustrating and I want to run too fast at times 
. Sometimes it’s hard to remember that learning a language to a high level takes a very long time. I guess I forgot what it feels like ever since I reached that point in English, even if ultimately you never stop learning, but it definitely slows down a lot. Although at the same time, I think it’s inevitable to grow impatient sometimes when there’s just so much that unlocks to you the more language you know. I think enjoying the process is a very important aspect so it doesn’t become a chore or an overwhelming thing to do, but when I think of how many things simply became possible just from knowing English, it makes me want it even more.
It’s funny that the more you work towards something, the faster you want to reach it. And in terms of language acquisition, most of the time you don’t even notice you are improving, so it feels like you are wasting more and more time. I just want to have something “physical” that lets me know that I’m indeed improving in some way, and that’s why I decided a while back to keep doing SRS, not only for its benefits but also because of that. It’s silly, but seeing the number of vocabulary grow somehow eases that uncertainty. It’s also kinda fun, too.