I’m glad that my post provided one more perspective of how one’s learning process using WaniKani might look like.
It’s really neat that you’re back on track for your own Japanese journey again! To me it feels a bit like just as your daughters are in college right now, you will in a sense also go back to your college days by building upon your Japanese study you did back then. And I hope that you will find your momentum again with some of your newfound free time.
I wish you success for your WaniKani journey, Japanese studies and any future endeavours as well!
Reply to @soggyboy
Thank you for telling me about your Genki study group (and for making one in the first place for anyone who wishes to study along)!
I don’t know if I’ll show up there because right now I can’t predict if I can build a daily or regular habit of studying grammar which would make it difficult to follow along even if there’s plenty of leeway for the schedule.
If I do manage to build a schedule soon, I might go through Genki 2 a bit more quickly compared to the study group schedule because I assume that 30-50% of Genki 2 will be repetition for me. (By the time the pandemic hit, we had made it almost through the second book of Japanese for Busy people in the Japanese classes I was going to and I think that some topics covered there will appear in Genki 2 as well; similar to the Genki 1 grammar points that turned out to be 90% familiar to me).
Thus, I don’t know what will happen.
But I will keep your group in the back of my mind just in case.
By the by, I’d like to also wish you all the best on your WK journey and Japanese studies! You’ve made plenty of progress in several areas (grammar, reading, WaniKani) ever since you made your study log – keep up the good work!
Did anyone say I tend to write long? ... ... ... Long reply xD
No worries, sometimes if I want to give in depth replies, it can take me a couple of days to find the time (especially when I know it will likely get long). Case in point for this one.
I think in some ways it is both my super power and Achilles’ heel. I can make it seem like I have it all so together, when the inside of my head is like the kind of mess cats creates when they get their paws on yarn. It doesn’t help that I mainly share things when I’ve managed to sort out some/all of the mess. Before then it would take far too much explaining unless someone knows me intimately.
And the only person that knows all of that is my coach/therapist of the last 6 years.
Yeah, making changes are always triggered by some kind of frustration or pain. I wish I could see I need to change before it gets that far, and I’m getting better at noticing the signs earlier. But to notice the early signs I have to identify them. And it is a bit like before I had to go from A all the way to the end of the alphabet before the pain grew big enough to deal with.
Then I figured out what what Y looked like, so I could stop before Z, and then next time X, next W, rinse repeat. So slowly but surely I’m starting to see when things are out of alignment for me earlier, because I can start noticing the sign that comes before then one I currently know. 6 years feel like a really long time, and still I could catch things earlier. Unsure how much earlier, but in a few years I’ll know…
This is true. After working with my coach who is all about helping me find the tools to deal with… myself? Yeah, that sounds about right. Also deal with what the world throws at me. I can handle things so much better now. I can sort out my feelings from my thoughts, coping mechanisms from directed action (most coping mechanisms are automatic, a trigger happens and the following behavior is the coping mechanisms we’ve developed to deal with them, whether we built it consciously or not; then there is pausing after a trigger and actually engaging with myself and deciding on how to deal with the thing that came up, that is more direct action), and so on.
If I had to pick the most important tool, it is learning to recognize when something is off and learning how to name it—aka find the source (or closest source, sometimes one has to get through a few layers of sources before finding the true one). And sometimes it is recognizing that it helps just to name it.
For the past 2-3 weeks, I’ve been in a low emotional period. I didn’t recognize it as such, because I am able to take better care of myself these days and I know how to process and live with my emotions in a much more healthy/useful way. In a way, it is a success I could celebrate (if I, you know, didn’t feel low like I am). I didn’t recognize it was not just lack of sleep and a few other bits and pieces, but an actual low feeling cycle, because my scale have apparently shifted. This low looks nothing like the ones I had previous years, the further back I go, the worse they were. And still, it is a low and it has been sapping away my energy, my enthusiasm and my enjoyment. But when I named it a couple of days ago, when I realized I was in a low, I felt better. Not in a “I’m no longer low” way, but acceptance and recognition took away the nagging feeling of something unknown is wrong. Now I know what is wrong—nothing in particular. I was attributing the symptoms as the cause, when I am in a low, I find it impossible to go to time at an hour I want to, that is a symptom, never the cause of them.
So recognizing what was happening and being able to name it, allowed me to let go of the stress of wondering what was happening. And it also meant I could make a plan. In this case, I was going to try and just grab as much Christmas holiday spirit as I could with the energy I do have, and if it is still around after Christmas, only then will I put the little energy I have to figuring out if there is something I need to change. Sometimes the spoons can’t go to fixing the problem, because there is something more important temporarily (Christmas is one of those things for me). But I know I’ll shift direction after that if there is a problem to fix. (I’m not convinced. Although trying to get some more vitamin D and making sure I get as close to 8 hours of sleep a night would both be good things. Even if it means sleeping in later when I can.)
Well, it helps that I currently don’t actually do anything specific, except for the piano course. I’ve been able to spend most of my energy towards figuring out how to actually do things regularly and on a schedule and also learn more tools that helps me live well in the world. I’ll need those tools by late summer/early fall next year when I will start an education. My time of dodging full time study/work will be over.
Well, it also becomes kind of impossible for me to get to them, no matter how hard I try. I think that is often called executive dysfunction? Yeah, I most likely have that. And when that starts happening with something I actually want to do, my so far only method that have worked have been to back off and get back to it at a later date. And I’ve learnt that that date tends to show up by itself if I can keep my patience.
I don’t feel like it is a very well working method, because sometimes I can’t back off from the thing I’m having trouble doing. Still need to figure out exactly how to navigate that, although I’ve gotten regular practice with this for the piano course because there are certainly weeks where I have trouble getting to the piano, and I’ve had to figure out ways to get around that, because I haven’t wanted to give up nor to fall behind. (Once I fall behind, I have quite a few hangups and mental blocks that make getting back to the thing harder…)
I guess that is one of those things that make me less certain of being neurodivergent, because I can’t look to my childhood and find anything in particular that fits. I’d say it only started to manifest in my late teens, early twenties. But maybe I’m just high functioning in some ways? I don’t know. Also, I’ve heard it might show up different in women, so yeah…
I only started to think about possibly being neurodivergent like a month ago. Before then, I had convinced myself I was normal and instead poor at coping with daily life. But now, I’m almost starting to hope I am neurodivergent because it would both explain some things, and make it even easier to release guilt around not being able to handle daily life in a way I thought I should be able to, with the methods that most people uses.
I’m thinking of going for official diagnosis, but I probably want to do some more research first, possibly read some books from people with ADHD and autism, so I can figure out what seems to fit me and also possibly learn some new tools!
Maybe after Christmas, we don’t really do cake in that way during Christmas. Loads of other yummy things though, so I won’t be bereft of sweet goodness!
Thank you for your understanding.
I will keep things shorter this time and just add my two cents on some points.
Yes, I agree with you that it will probably take some more time before you can recognise things being off even earlier (so, at point J or so instead of U ) but you have already made noticeable progress!
I mean, it sounds to me like you can usually recognise things before they are too far gone and much more difficult to amend and you also recognise your reactions to events and take a moment to look at your feelings before deciding to cope as you would have anyways, or purposely try another coping method.
On top of that you’re able to name or at least come close to specifying what’s off – just as you have by now identified your low and decided to try figure things and adjustments out more clearly after Christmas. (I hope that you will get out of your low soon, btw). Compared to you, I’m still far off from being able to pinpoint or name what’s bothering me and reaching that point will take some more years for me.
Therefore, I dare assume that the average person doesn’t nearly have as much self-awareness as you but I recognise that you might have needed to develop that insight to make it through daily life or phases and that you had coaching for years to aid you in becoming capable of analysing and adjusting to issues in your life.
I’m not an expert on executive dysfunction but what you describe sounds like that to me as well. I know that kind of block of not being able to do things you dislike often – as well as things you actually like sometimes – too well.
As of now I can’t give much advice on how to overcome these hung-ups, though, because I’m still in the process of figuring out on how to deal with them better myself. If I find out anything, I’ll drop you a line in your study log. In the meantime, I hope that your piano lessons might indirectly help you figure out methods to keep yourself engaged with a focus or two in the meantime.
I’m not an expert on this either but as far as I understood during my diagnostic appointments, ADHD can be present without being really noticeable in your childhood, especially if one is an inattentive type compared to a hyperactive type, only for it to become noticeable in adulthood due of increase in daily responsibilities and tasks and lack of coping mechanisms/treatment/medication.
(The score and assessment parts for my childhood were less high and thus less “damning” compared to having a much higher score and clearer indications for its presence in the assessment sessions for my adulthood, for example).
You can have clear symptoms during your childhood while they become mostly subdued in adulthood or and vice versa. Of course, you can also have strong ADHD symptoms from childhood that remain into adulthood – or have neither and hence not be on the ADHD spectrum and would instead have to look into other possibilities with similar-ish symptoms such as Autism, Bipolar disorder, depression or even (C-)PTSD.
As for feeling guilty in my life over not being able to do things “without too much trouble” like a “normal” person, I know that one very well.
The official verdict certainly helped release some of my guilt, but it was a double-edged sword for me: on one hand, it does explain why I can’t structure a big part of my life properly as well as my tendency to enter blocks and experience executive dysfunction often. It’s not me being a goof and incompetent, it’s literally my brain working against me in many aspects of life. So, the diagnosis sure made me feel less like a “failure” and gave context for my shortcomings. (The diagnosis doesn’t excuse all of it, however, I still need to take responsibility when things go south or if I inconvenience people due to involuntary negligence).
On the other hand, I now know that I have it and it will always be a part of me as there is no cure for ADHD; only coping mechanisms, strategies and medication (if you manage to find one that works). This makes future prospects look bleak but at least I understand things better now and can start figuring out specific adjustments and tools for my daily life.
Thus, I hope that the research you’ll do as well as a going through a diagnostic procedure at one point will help you confirm your suspicions which are likely to lessen the feeling of guilt over not getting things done “properly” and/or “regularly”. And even if it doesn’t get diagnosed you may still benefit from reading about ADHD specific coping strategies and trying them for yourself – if they tend to work for people with ADHD who struggle with structure etc., they might work for non-ADHD people facing very similar problems still.
Thank you so much for sharing your journey! Its inspiring (especially to someone who has gotten on and off the wani kani train several times!)
Thank you in particular for your detailed script recommendations and schedule breakdowns! When I have more time tomorrow I’ll try out the scripts and revise my schedule!!!
Thank you so much, @Otoko68 !
I hope that acquiring more Kanji knowledge through WaniKani will help you getting to read more complex reading material you wish to read soon and I wish you success in climbing the WaniKani mountain – or skytree – as well as in your Japanese studies!
@SeanBones , thank you very much for reading my post, I’m glad I could give you a little bit of inspiration and a basis for adjusting your workflow.
Btw, looking forward to see which magazine you’ll tackle next in your thread (but no pressure!) – your write-ups are as informative and enjoyable as ever.
Reply again to Midnightblue :) — it might be almost considered short! :O
Yeah, this kind of discerning have taking time to figure out for sure. Also recognizing that sometimes there isn’t a specific cause. Like I called this a low, except for possibly environmental factors of less daylight and probably less vitamin D, there are no specific thing I could point this low to. Which is why I just called it a low. We’re human, and don’t feel exactly the same all the time, even when nothing is going particularly wrong or right. There is variance anyway. And I think this is one of those.
Thankfully, realizing I was in a low, and not fighting anymore, have done wonders. (It doesn’t mean I wallow, btw, more that I accept where I am at and work within it, such as no longer fighting the fact that my bedtime is suddenly around 2 hours later than it was a month ago, because night time have always been the time I feel the safest.)
Thanks. I am perhaps very skilled at it now, but as you say, it is a skill that have been necessary to learn to even begin to be able to meet my own needs daily.
It is definitely one of those things I struggle a lot with. Especially a lot of things people just take for granted, like showering and other daily/semi-daily things.
I wish I had some good advice too, but I don’t yet either.
I only learnt about C-PTSD yesterday and it is a bit of a candidate, but I don’t have one of the three conditions that characterizes PTSD, or at least I didn’t recognize myself in the description of flashbacks.
Well, I’m so early in my investigation into this area that I have no idea where I might end up. So far, I feel like I’ve recognized ADHD type things the most, but it is perhaps also the area I’ve seen the most of so not surprising.
I feel you on it feeling bleak. Probably the one reason I hadn’t even allowed myself of thinking of being neurodivergent as a possibility for the longest time. But my sense is that it is more about learning how we work, and that we can thrive in that. Our struggles just hit in a few different places than neurotypical people, same do our strengths. (Yes, including myself in that. No matter what it might eventually be named, if it ever was, I’ve known for most of my life my brain don’t seem to work quite like a (generic) person next to me.)
Oh hey!! I totally missed this post! I know I already said congratulations in another post but congratulations again and thanks for detailing you journey getting to level 60.
I’m so impressed by your level up progress and thanks a lot for sharing the level up guide depending on how fast you wanna go! I’ve seen it before on the Ultimate Guide post but i like the examples you gave! I already do a similar schedule but even slower than 12 days. Usually, I do 5 radical/kanji and 5 vocab items, which usually gets me levelling up between 14 - 16 days.
All the best on your post-level 60 goals and I’m excited to continue following your progress through your study log. Rooting for you to make it to Japan one day!
Rooting for you to make it to Japan one day!