Gonna make this quick – been busy, often with life stress, sometimes with playing a lot of Splatoon with new friends, etc. Keeping up with Japanese though not always the ridiculous amount of time I had for it before. I’m only posting because I have a new project!
Taking after @fallynleaf , I’m an amateur translator now, heh. So in Splatoon there’s a side co-op mode (salmon run) that gets rather deep and difficult at the higher levels. The way it works is every day and halfish, the map changes and so do the 4 weapons you have to use. Well, until a little while back, this guy named Hazmy made little guides for every single rotation, talking about how those weapons worked together, how to use them best on the given map, how strong the rotation looked, etc. Now he’s taking a mental health break, and I’m glad he’s doing what’s best for him, but a lot of people miss having that help.
Recently I discovered a Japanese player who does much the same thing, so I squeezed what Japanese I could out of my brain for a few emails and some Twitter DMs (god that’s difficult – I don’t think I said anything outright WRONG but I’m sure 違和感 all over the place. output is a nightmare it turns out), got his permission, and today I began translating those guides to help the community. They’re threads of ~8 posts each.
Flicking through your log really makes me reflect on never creating my own study log. From Genki 1 to the incredible achievements you’re pulling nowadays, I think it’s really cool how you’ve got all that documented. I remember when I first considered creating a study log on here, I was also still working through the beginning chapters of Minna no Nihongo 1, and I kept going for what will soon be two years. Could’ve been a motivating journey for beginner learners to read through, but oh well. Maybe I’ll start one at level 60 hahhaha
Seriously though, good job sticking to it for that long and never falling out of it. You started your journey about four months before I did and you’ve come quite a long way. Never left a reply on here before, but I’ve been checking your updates here from time to time, and at times it truly felt like peaking into a crystal ball hehe. Very intrigued to see how far you can go. Good luck!
Thank you! Really appreciate you reading. Would definitely be cool to see your progress over time like that, but all the same, I think it’s better late than never, yeah? Recently I’m feeling overwhelmed with stuff and not looking at the WK forums more than the absolute bare minimum to keep up with clubs, but I’d make an effort to take a look if you do make one.
Appreciate the kind words, and I’m excited to see where I go from here too. It’s funny how much I am totally putting my language learning into practice now, because there’s still SO much left to learn and actually properly internalize, so it’s hard to actually feel the appropriate level of success, I think. I guess, within reason, my hard inclination to focus on what I can’t do is helpful, but it’s probably too much at times.
Well, it’s that time again. I finally have a likely diagnosis of thoracic outlet syndrome, oh boy. I’m having a venogram soon to confirm for sure, and the guy said we’ll do surgery after if it is indeed that.
Except, fuck that? I dunno, while technically some physical therapy and stuff exists for TOS, it seems like especially with the venous type, surgery is kinda THE treatment. Surgery where you go in and cut out some of the first rib where all the nerves and veins run through. A sort of surgery that has a rather high risk of complications, and even when it goes well leads to days of hospitalization followed by months of awful recovery, pain and trying to rebuild strength to be able to use the hand and arm again. Hope I don’t get a collapsed lung or have them accidentally paralyze me or anything along the way.
So I really want to refuse that, it’s pretty much an unacceptable amount of risk and suffering, but I’m not sure I even have options.
Am I still learning Japanese? I dunno. I’ve been barely crawling through books, watching shit in the film club that I can’t understand one word of, I’m pretty terrible at this and I’m not sure I have enough time left in my life to be making long term plans and make this sort of project actually worth it. Whatever.
I’m so sorry to hear that. I looked it up on wikipedia, however I’ll have to admit I rarely understand much of these medical stuff.
I’m assuming it would be inadvisable/dangerous to just leave it be? Plus you’d still have all the problems you currently have. I’m assuming you’d have mentioned just not treating it otherwise.
Wishing you all the best possible scenarios/outcomes.
Thanks. Yeah basically nerves and/or veins get compressed when they pass between the collarbone and first rib. My arm pain/related problems still exist but are basically manageable/tolerable at this stage so I’d like to just leave it. The issue is that it caused a blood clot, though they told me that clot is gone now after some months on blood thinners. I can at least see what they think of the possibility; I don’t really mind continuing to take blood thinners forever. But I was reading studies earlier on treating this and it seems the risk of clots reoccurring is fairly high even if you keep taking blood thinners.
You’ve had some rotten luck these past couple autumns/winters, huh? I hope that by this time around next year, things are better for you.
I wonder if this is a case where sort of the only way out is through? Assuming it does work out, would the surgery put you in a better position long term? It might be worth dealing with a great deal of short term pain and discomfort if it means less pain in the future.
Though, yeah, as a rather risk-adverse person myself, I totally get your resistance to making that choice… I’m crossing my fingers that you’ll find an alternative that works.
Well, the last book you read and the last film the club watched were I’d say very difficult ones! You’re pretty advanced, but media like that is very demanding even in absolutely ideal conditions, and it sounds like you have a lot of pain and stress in your life that are extremely distracting. I wonder if you’d have an easier time going back to Japanese media that’s a lot easier/more comfortable for you? Not necessarily forever, but just in the meantime, when you simply have less brain to devote to this.
Like, I wonder what the Japanese dub of Spongebob would be like, haha. That’s my current go-to listening practice in Spanish, because it’s fairly easy, and there’s no harm if I don’t understand stuff because I have no strong investment in the show, and it won’t matter by the next episode anyway.
Or letting yourself watch movies with English subtitles, maybe. I feel like if the choice is between watching no Japanese movies (or watching them and understanding nothing) or watching a Japanese movie with English subs, you might as well go with the English subs. You do learn some things that way, even if it’s not as much as you could theoretically be learning without them.
I know it probably feels hard to believe right now, but there probably will be a point in your life someday in the future where things are better for you, and being able to put more time/energy into Japanese might be an option again.
I have another friend who started learning Japanese before I did, though they’re not as far along as you’ve gotten. They’re also severely chronically ill and have a whole bunch of severely disabling health problems, including dealing with significant chronic pain. They’ve left Japanese and have come back to it multiple times. And, like you, they’re sort of a perfectionist about things, and can have kind of an all-or-nothing attitude with regards to their hobbies. I’ve had several conversations with them over the whole “is it actually worth it?” issue, considering they probably don’t have a full life to live. I think this is probably something you’ll have to answer for yourself.
Personally, I feel like it was already worth it, even to get just as far as you are now. From my perspective, at least, I’ve really enjoyed talking to you about language learning and other stuff, and the film club discord has been so much fun, even though we only talk about films maybe 5% of the time . I dunno, sometimes there can actually be some fun in struggle, as weird as that sounds. Would it have been nice to have a perfect understanding of Shin Godzilla? Yes, of course. But at the same time, it was also fun memeing with everyone. That kind of experience is something irreplaceable.
So if I were you, I’d try not to discount the value of doing something imperfectly. Language learning is a lifelong journey, no matter how long your life is (I just learned a new English word from the NJPW book that is designed to teach Japanese speakers English, haha).
Japanese will still be there for you if you ever want to come back to it more full-time, but there’s no reason why you can’t keep it up in small ways in the meantime, even if maybe not in the form you envisioned. There’s really no wasted effort in a thing like this, even if it’s inefficient, or if you make a bunch of progress and then lose some of it due to not keeping up your practice. My friend just told me that I was totally right when I told them they’ll relearn all of this much faster the second time (worked for me with Spanish!).
But also, no pressure to keep up with it if it’s really dragging you down! It’s probably a good idea to take a break for now anyway, or at least scale substantially back. If it helps, think of it like giving yourself accommodations.
I hope the film challenge you’re about to do ends up being a good distraction! And even if you soft quit (or hard quit) Japanese, I hope to still see you around, because I value your friendship regardless of language learning stuff!
Oh wow so unlucky.
I’ve also been refusing a surgery for the past couple of years, it would make my life a bit easier if I did it and it was successful, but it’s hard not to think that it could also go wrong. And even if it goes well, then there would also be 6 weeks of painful recovery and not being allowed to carry anything in that time. So I don’t want to go for it, but maybe a bit easier decision for me, it would change my body image but I don’t have anything painful or any risk health if I don’t do it.
So totally get where you are, pretty shitty decision to make good luck, whatever you decide
Well, I haven’t looked back here in some months. Hi? For a while I sorta stopped, just being lazy and playing Splatoon and stuff. I delayed the surgery (and venogram) partially because I needed to get insurance again and also just because the risk of imminent death seems low so I’m putting it off because, you know, it’s hard to want to do it.
Sometimes I’ve been picking Japanese back up! I finished Yakuza Gaiden: The Man Who Erased His Name (名を消した男) which was more of a pain because subtitles disappear when you pause, but I managed. Starting the Final Fantasy 7 Remake and that’s going fine too. Need to get back to more actual reading but things are still tough.
Just last night I got forced into finally starting to practice (text) output, because I got in contact on Discord with some Splatoon friends I’ve been playing with for months now. They’re quite sweet about what a mess I’m making of the language.
Would be nice if I could manage another VN club pick sometime maybe; I know they seem a little low on members. It’s hard to have the energy and time for things that aren’t exactly THE thing I want to do at that time though, unfortunately, so we’ll see.
Vaguely on topic, Splatoon players are the sweetest. Below is an image a friend I met in that game had commissioned of my wife, me, another friend, and her.
You know, I was going to see if I felt up to actually joining for Flowers when ete time rolled around, but I forgot about it Guess I might’ve struggled to find the time and motivation anyway. Over these months I tried reading CHAOS;HEAD NOAH but didn’t stick for very long at all. Need to go back to that…
Hope you all have been doing well. I’ll have to try to post a little more about what I’m up to or something, see what I can manage. Having a few friends I want to do a better job talking to is nice for motivation, right now.
Might as well add, since I’m annoyingly inconsistent about being here, my name is the same on Discord if anyone is ever inclined to say hello. The small movie club discord (oops, awful timing on the creation of that club…) has been a nice way for me to keep in touch with a part of this community. Always happy to chat.
I thought about doing that many times won’t hesitate next time! not to suggest that you should disappear again
Now imaging leaving for 6 months and nothing has changed on my side, I’m still reading ISLAND but hopefully I will finish it this time around!
To add onto the above, the aforementioned Japanese friends from Splatoon (who continue to be ridiculously nice) actually invited me to voice chat while we were playing tonight. Decided pretty much instantly there is no way I can do that right at this moment, haha, but now that the chance is there I do want to be able to sometime… I guess it’s time to try to prepare a little to somehow feel mentally ready enough to handle output in real time. I had nearly my first text conversations ever starting yesterday so… lol.
The text part is going alright; I know I’m mangling it but they always know what I’m saying. It takes me ages though, lots of fumbling for words or just cheating while I have the time and jogging my memory with some lookups. My Japanese itself is slightly rusty right now, too.
I like the motivation but oof, starting output is hard. I think I’m socially awkward enough already in English
Sounds great that you found a nice and fun way to use the language. I relate to it being somewhat daunting, I’m not playing much at the moment but when I was using the FFXIV character I made on a Japanese server there was always a feeling in the background with a mixture of excitement and nervousness haha. Compared to voice chat, a text chat feels safer. I’m sure you’ll have a great time if you ever decide to voice chat with them though. I remember when I was starting my Japanese journey in the language school our teacher used to have Japanese people stay at her home from time to time, and sometimes asked students if they could spend time with them and show them around the city and whatnot for when she was busy. It was a nice way for students to get actual practice with a native, and for the visitors to always have something to see and do. I and a couple classmates had the chance and pleasure to meet a super friendly and polite woman who was studying cooking academically if I remember correctly, and even with our very low language skill at the time it was a great experience for everyone, communication was successful even if awkward at times. She was so nice and appreciated our company that she even invited us over to our teacher’s home, with her permission of course, and prepared some elaborated ice cream for everyone and it was super good, it was summer at the time. It’s no doubt one of the best memories from my time at the language school, and that was with N5 Japanese at most haha. It felt so awesome actually communicating in Japanese, it was well worth the anxiety. The time I was visiting Japan years ago also felt great, whenever I got to use the language with a local, however little. For people who like and study foreign languages, using them usually feels very exciting.
So if or when you decide to give it a go with this friend of yours it’s likely you’ll have a great time too, I’m sure they’ll be patient and understanding, as most people usually are with learners .
Yeah I expect to become like Chishu Ryu, the old man in Ozu’s movies, just going うん to every single thing. That, or if I’m feeling adventurous, I’ve learned from streams that やばい is the only Japanese word you need for every situation
Aww that’s so cool!
Yeah they’re both super sweet. This is the last thing one of them said to me last night:
Also one of them gave me an impromptu lesson on various common abbreviations to a word yesterday when she was using one, haha. Maybe that doesn’t say great things about how my language skill is coming across, but I think the attempts to help are really sweet
Yeah not sure if I mentioned it, for a while we couldn’t because of only having one copy and whatnot, but eventually we got a second of everything so she could join. It’s nice.
Commissioned, so she didn’t actually make the picture herself, but paid someone to do it. But I agree it’s super cute!
Having had a bit experience with this now from doing speaking practice with a tutor I think you’ve just got to accept that you’re going to make mistakes, stumble over words, say the wrong things, realise you don’t know how to say something or just not express yourself very well - especially at first. It’s hard no matter where you start from, but the best way to improve is to just do it. But the good thing is that the response will be pretty instant and you can get a lot out of just discussing things. One thing to keep in mind is that if you don’t know how to say something specifically, think of ways you can describe it using what does come to mind in the moment. I don’t think people will mind too much if you hit them with a ちょっと待ってください and look something up in the dictionary quickly either
So yes it’s hard, but you’ll be surprised at how well people will understand you regardless of how much you feel like you’re making a pig’s breakfast of what you wanted to say. And it feels rewarding to convey something in another language
. I dunno, sometimes there can actually be some fun in struggle, as weird as that sounds. Would it have been nice to have a perfect understanding of Shin Godzilla? Yes, of course. But at the same time, it was also fun memeing with everyone. That kind of experience is something irreplaceable.
so unlucky.
so happy to see you again!
Guess I might’ve struggled to find the time and motivation anyway. Over these months I tried reading CHAOS;HEAD NOAH but didn’t stick for very long at all. Need to go back to that…
won’t hesitate next time! not to suggest that you should disappear again 
but hopefully I will finish it this time around!
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