My favorite is 吾輩 (わがはい) because it sounds archaic and kinda pretentious. I first heard the word from Natsume Soseki’s book titled 吾輩は猫である (わがはいはねこである).
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I meant “if 俺 and 僕 are generally the most accepted pronouns for men, will I be looked at strangely if I use 私 even though I’m a foreigner?”.
i always use 僕 (i literally only use japanese when texting so i havent had to be formal or something) but one time i introduced myself to a japanese person online as a 女子高生 and still used 僕 and they told me it was incorrect and i should use 私 as im not a boy and i was like ‘oh arigatou~’ continues to use 僕
edit: i used 俺 like 2 times before but it was as a joke YES I AM. VERY MANLY MAN HELLO–
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It’s like I said above. It is not the huge ass deal that most people make it out to be (with the exception of some people, like, the above person’s mom, but we’re gonna speak generally). If you are in an informal situation, it isn’t uncommon to hear it. It would not be weird to hear おれ at an Izakaya regardless of the relationship, or at a 飲み会. I will again point to the above poll where 75% of the respondents said they used おれ when referring to themselves.
@tankwidow I think one of the things that makes it challenging is that pronouns are an open class in Japanese. So new ones can always exist. And they’re not gendered in a lexical way, but only in a social way, so there is also a change in perception of them over time.
@snow-pine I’d definitely raise an eyebrow if someone used it in a non-formal type environment. And you know, Youtube be Youtube.
@seanblue (To keep everything all neat and tidy) I think you’re much more likely to be looked at strangely for using a pronoun too much than anything else. There might be situations where it will seem odd. Like 私を舐めんな. But, you know.
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The study you are referring to asked women, not men, which they would like a man to refer to themselves to give the best impression (in a private situation nonetheless), so it’s hardly appropriate to all situations and a view from the opposite side. Source is “Love Research”, so this is presumably a dating context.
The original article also brings up similar points as I did (also in the table):
友達の紹介、合コン、出会い系、初対面の女性と話すときやメールをするときに悩みやすい自分の呼び方（一人称）。「俺」だとなんか威圧的だし、「私」だと堅い、「僕」はなんか頼りなさそうだし・・・結局なんて呼べばいいのかわからないと悩んだことがある人は多いと思います。
But I agree, it’s not a really big deal, and you will get a pass as a foreigner pretty easily. Izakaya and Yomikai situations can definitely be pretty loose.
私 is used commonly enough by men to be addressed alongside 俺 and 僕 in articles discussing the topic. The articles I’m reading say that it indicates politeness, attention to wording, and modesty, but can also indicate some distance between the speaker and who they’re talking to. Overall pretty neutral though
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I always think of Morgana from Persona 5 when I hear “吾輩” 
(which is of course a reference itself to Soseki Natsume’s novel “Wagahai wa Neko de Aru” lol).
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I don’t think I’ll ever get used to pronouns in Japanese. I understand what they mean, how they are used, and the feel they give for the most part. I even find them cute when reading stuff, but I always use わたし in conversation because it’s the most generic one and the one I used to learn grammar.
It’s a bit hard to explain but, in the same way that in the other 2 languages I know, people referring to themselves in third person give the impression of being eh… douchebags I guess, using anything but a simple “I/me” equivalent in another language gives a similar vibe to me. If someone uses 俺, it won’t make me think they’re “manly”, it makes me think that they’re trying to project an image that may or may not be true (which also depends on one’s definition of the word).
Then, adding to that, the idea of using a specific pronoun to describe myself just feels weird. Whatever it is I think I am, it makes sense to me that it is something that I represent by my own actions, as they are the manifestation of my mind. Just like I wouldn’t call myself “The skillful and intellectual arsdiaboli1”, I would not call myself “The feminine arsdiaboli1”.
I know it’s kinda silly, but eh.
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I use 僕 because its short lol. Saying 私 is such a drag and 俺 is shorter but I really don’t have the patience to learn the nuances.
Though the real answer is: I don’t use them lol. The situations where you need to use pronouns without omission are rare so i just don’t bother
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These topics always seem to have an overriding tone of “what is your pronoun” as though it’s normal to use only one. The most normal thing is to adapt to the situation with the appropriate pronoun. But perhaps a lot of people think of the situation where they are going to write their pronoun in text on this kind of forum, and they don’t imagine a need for multiple pronouns based on various situations.
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That wasn’t my intention; I’m definitely aware that context drives these kind of things. I just think personal pronouns are a really interesting socio-psychological thing. I guess the question is really more “if all pronouns were equally socially acceptable in all situations, which would you prefer to use?” As a non binary woman, I like the softly-masculine implication of 僕.
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I’m still struggling to understand all the nuances of japanese pronouns so as much as possible I try to avoid using them. Whenever the subject is clear from the context, I just omit pronouns entirely. In all other cases I tend to use 私 the most as I think it is the safest.
Why is わたくし lumped in with わたし？ I always use わたし as a female, btw. I have not yet been in a situation where I felt compelled to use わたくし. I probably could have in some situation, but my keigo is bad overall, so I think it would have sounded out of place.
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From what I understand, わたくし is only for like really really formal situations, where the person speaking is like a ceo or a government representative operating in their official capacity and making like a public statement or something like that.
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I’ve heard it when a Japanese couple who teaches calligraphy came to visit my Japanese class. Upon introducing the husband used わたくし.
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My understanding is that わたくし is an older reading of 私. In modern speech I’ve only seen it in very formal situations.
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Sure, but that doesn’t change the fact that I heard it used.
I meant that is why I think they are sometimes lumped together. They are the same kanji and わたくし is rare enough to be overlooked or lumped in with わたし.
Ah okay. I think that is actually precisely the reason why they shouldn’t be lumped together. But I think the person who wrote the poll already said it was an oversight on their part.
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That’s fair. They probably just forgot to include it because it’s rather rare.
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