Forgive me o Great Crabigator. I had just signed up to a lifetime of indebted servitude to you when I was suddenly snatched up in a swirl of dastardly schemes attempting to pry me away from your loving, but firm claws. First, it was the Pimsleur Pirates stating I need to pay their ransom if I ever I’d be able to utter a word of the sacred language. Then, as I escaped their overpriced ship they fired hefty (but utterly ineffective) Rosetta Stones from their blustery cannons as they cursed all things Crabigatorial. It seemed that my only chance now would be to escape in a JapanesePod and head to the dark and forbidding planet of Anki where I’d slave away on the free, but meager scraps of leftover user-generated content all alone in a cold crater of indifference with no sign of community…
But then I realized it was just a dream. I had indeed laid hold of the ultimate prize of lifetime membership. How could I ever even ask for more? Then… a New Year’s email with encouragement, inspiration, and even a sale of tantalizing 4500 practice sentences… Would I take on such a challenge even after just purchasing the big deal?? Could I??? Would I??? I shall!!! Payday is upon me and I will take up this gre–SCREEEECH (record scratching…)
I hung me head down in shame. I’ve failed thee. Your level 23 apprentice deserves his 罰, for the sale has already set sail.
I shudder even as I ask–Shall it ever be $10 again??