Congrats! Always nice to be reminded that what we’re all doing will show results.
As for your woes, I’d recommend starting with Japanese Ammo with Misa or Organic Japanese with Cure Dolly. Things are really daunting at the start, and I think resources like these are pretty cool because they start from the bottom of bottoms.
Reading is, I think, an even bigger hurdle. The best I can come up with on that front is reading along with Absolute Beginners Book Club. It helps with motivation to have someone willing to help you out with anything (and people are like that here!)
Other than that, all I can tell you is that it’s gonna be hard and frustrating at the start and there’s really no way around it. You just gotta grit your teeth and power through it. Suddenly, one day, it’s gonna feel different and great, and while still challenging, not as frustrating as at first.