(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

Thursday, August 4, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. あの娘には二度も結婚先越され
    あのじょうに・はにどもけっこん・さきこされ
    Beaten twice / at being wed by / that woman

Notes:

  • Note the reading for 娘 is じょう and not むすめ.

  • I could have gone with any of the submissions. I ended up going with the direct 3-5-3. (For anyone just catching up: we discovered a while back that 11 to 14 syllables, especially 3-5-3 or 4-5-4, seem best for English senryu and correlate most closely to the 17(おん) in a typical senryu.)

  • As discussed, I like to keep the translations pretty close to the original, so I wanted to include “twice”. I riffed on @Rodan’s version to get it to a 4-5-4 but had to use the words “marry and remarry” (the latter not in the original). This 3-5-3 manages to include “twice”, and also manages to keep it “twice wed” rather than marry/remarry. My only complaint is that I can’t read “that woman” without hearing Bill Clinton’s voice!

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Husbands

  1. 妻の友来て当てもなく家を出る

Hah! This one made me smile. I know the feeling. I’m very interested in seeing how this gets translated into English (there seems to be plenty of opportunity to be creative while still keeping it a fairly direct translation).

当てもなく was a new word for me (“at random” / “aimlessly”).


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.

Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.