(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

Can you believe it? I missed (りゅう) in my reviews this morning (I’m embarrassed to admit I typed もも).

In my defense, I was out of caffeinated coffee.

3 Likes

Dont be absurd. Santa does not have that much money

3 Likes

むちゃいうな! サンタはそんなにおかねがない
Don’t be ridiculous! Santa doesn’t have that kind of money.

I read through the entire archive at work the past couple of weeks, excited to finally join in! (my kanji comprehension is a bit higher than my wanikani level; I have some college Japanese courses under my belt. Excited to get to WK levels where I don’t already know most things soon :-))

4 Likes

むちゃいうな! さんたはそんなに かねがない
(5-8?!-5 Wild 川柳 composers flouting rules - the nerve!!)

3-5-3

Such rubbish!
Santa doesn’t have that
much money!!

Probably uttered by the frustrated サラリーマン to his child upon hearing his/her wished for expensive Christmas present. The absurdity of it all is that サラリーマン’s family is likely Buddhist (even if in name only).

Poor サラリーマン… (and his poor, not-so-rich Santa). :smile:

4 Likes

I couldn’t think of a translation I liked for the first line, but for the second two:

do you think Santa is / made of money?

3 Likes

Tuesday, June 28, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 無茶言うな! サンタはそんなに 金がない
    むちゃいうな!・さんたはそんなに・かねがない
    Don’t be absurd. / Santa does not have / that much money!

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: to @Linda0r

  • :trophy: to @tiredkiwi (welcome! which island?), @LaVieq, @pm215

  • all submissions were very similar to each other, but @Linda0r successfully made a 4-5-4. @LaVieQ’s 3-5-3 almost took the prize but I ended up going with the first submission.

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Life in one page

  1. 爽快に起き目覚ましの故障知る

A harder one to read today, but I think the interpretation is pretty straightforward. It reminds me of some prior poems.

Wanikani doesn’t teach the 塾語(じゅくご) word 爽快, but the first character shows up on level 47 and the rest are also taught on earlier levels. The primary meaning provided by Wanikani for 故障 works better here than the English words JMdict and other dictionaries use. Yay Wanikani!


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

そうかいに おきめざましの こしょうしる

wake up feeling great / then you realize / alarm clock’s broken

Very Japanese salaryman theme to this one, I feel. (My job’s flexitime so I never have to set an alarm clock anyway – doesn’t mean I always wake up feeling refreshed and raring to go though…)

Will anybody fall into the classic pitfall of forgetting about the meaning difference between しる and しっている ? :slight_smile:

4 Likes

爽快(そうかい)()目覚(めざ)ましの故障(こしょう)()

wake up feeling
refreshed and realize
my alarm failed

The biggest struggle with this one was wrestling with the English syllable count, haha.

5 Likes

Does anyone else get the following vibe? I may be overly influenced by previous senryu that used 知る, but I get the feeling that it’s expressly because they woke up feeling refreshed that they realized their alarm is malfunctioning. Is there any way to capture that?

Yeah, that was the vibe I got as well, but it was hard to capture in English without requiring more words and losing the feel of the poem. I tried my best, but I guess I didn’t succeed :sweat_smile:

1 Like

You’ll note that kibitzing doesn’t require me to actually submit a translation. :grin:

そうかいに おきめざましの こしょうしる

4-5-4 attempt:

Awoke, refreshed!
Then noticed: alarm
had malfunctioned

Interestingly, nowadays I tend to wake up just before the alarm rings. Whatever the time. Rather strange, this premonition of alarm about to ring. Luckily, I don’t have the alarm on most days…

I seem to have (subconsciously) captured that by changing the tense in which it is written… present continuous in Japanese vs. past in my translation.

Yes, but, the daily load of admin work you do ain’t a walk in the park… :wink: Said with appreciation, of course.

3 Likes

Changing it to past tense does seem to work a little better. Though, I think @LaVieQ’s translation still doesn’t necessarily convey that waking up refreshed was why they realized the alarm had malfunctioned. The “then” sort of separates the two actions of waking up and realizing.

I ended up attempting another translation. I thought maybe a semicolon did a better job with connecting the two actions than “and” (and without completely rearranging the sentence).

woke up refreshed;
realized my alarm
had malfunctioned

3 Likes

I like that version best so far. Let’s see what people come up overnight (my time).

1 Like

爽快に起き目覚ましの故障知る

そうかいにおきめざましのこしょうしる

wake up refreshed
only to realize:
alarm clock’s broken!

My attempt! Yesterday I completely forgot about syllables in my eagerness to contribute, so now have this 4/5/4 (if you’re being generous with syllables).

also i’m not actually from New Zealand, it’s just a nickname :sweat_smile:

3 Likes

Mmm, I agree. I did think about a different middle line for mine, like:

wake up feeling great / that’s how you know your / alarm clock’s broken

which captures that aspect more explicitly.

4 Likes

Wednesday, June 29, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 爽快に起き目覚ましの故障知る
    そうかいに・おきめざましの・こしょうしる
    woke up refreshed; / realized my alarm / had malfunctioned

Notes:

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Husbands

  1. いい家内10年経ったらおっ家内

This one’s great! Sounds like a dad joke I might make. :smile:

This time the competition may be figuring out the reading more than the interpretation (not to mention figuring out how to express it in English!).

Forgot to add this definition which will help: おっかない


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

3 Likes

いいかない じゅうねんたったら おっかない

A rather loose translation for the sake of trying to fit in a similar wordplay, though it’s not as good as the original’s:

wed your soul mate? / after ten years it’s / more like checkmate

4 Likes

That’s pretty good. I didn’t think there was any way to get even close to translating the pun.

We’ll see if anyone comes up with anything better, but I’d just assumed we’d have to use the Japanese words without translation (explaining the joke in the notes).

1 Like

いいかない じゅうねんさったら おっかない

3-5-3 version:

“My fine wife!”
But ten years on, it’s
“Owww! The wife!”

3 Likes