(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

Sunday, June 26, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 単純に祖母金持ちと孫信じ
    たんじゅんに・そぼかねもちと・まごしんじ
    Simply stated: / Grandchild believes that / grandma is rich

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: to LaVieQ

  • It’s increasingly obvious that the ones with a single relatively obvious interpretation are the least fun to discuss, so I’m particularly appreciative of the extra commentary on @LaVieQ’s offering!

  • I noticed that at least one person appears to be reading or re-reading this whole thread from the beginning. (That’s commendable @WovenSapling but don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me! :wink: )

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Various settings

  1. 食い逃げ追って行った男も帰らない

I love the fact that some of these I can read out loud with no difficulty but not understand, while others (like this one) I can understand (or at least think I understand) while struggling with the reading! I had to look up the reading for the first half of the sentence (but I felt foolish because it seems obvious in hindsight!).

I’d not come across 食い逃げ before but it means what you’d expect (what some Americans call “Dine and dash”).


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

2 Likes

くいにげおって いったおとこも かえらない

First attempt at one of these, so I make no claims for the poetry of it, but I did try to count syllables. I went for 7-7-5 like the original:

He ran out in hot pursuit / of the dine-and-dash thief but / never came back either

6 Likes

Notes

I tried to get the man and the も in the translation but it feels a lil clunky. My first attempt was something like “even those who chase the dine-and-dashes can’t go home” but it doesn’t fit a syllable count. However I am confident in that it means that even if you chase down the person who eats and doesn’t pay the bill, you also can’t go home because you are busy chasing that person. Which makes me wonder now if that means that you aren’t paying your bill either? hmm much to think about…

Attempt!

くいにげおって いったおとこも かえらない

The man who chases
those who dined-and-dashed,
too, cannot go home.

3 Likes

Tried, but failed. I woke up this morning realizing that in

He ran out in hot pursuit / of the dine-and-dash thief but / never came back either

that last line is 6, not 5. Oh well. Changing it to he never came back fixes the count but loses the translation of the も so I don’t like it as much.

3 Likes

くいにげ おっていったおも かえらない
Assuming I’m reading it right, this is the first time I’m seeing a word straddling the 5-7-5 boundary in a 川柳. Is this allowed/normal, I wonder. Perhaps it is a 4-8-5 rule breaker?
The reading お for 男 is also a first for me.

3-5-3 version:

The bilk and
the man who chased - both
didn’t return.

My interpretation:

The bilk (one who bilks/one who doesn’t pay for meal/materials/service/…) and the chaser were in cahoots to defraud the establishment that was bilked. Both had partook of whatever that establishment was selling and ran away without paying, the second pretending to chase the first. If so, a very clever scheme indeed. Although, hard to imagine such a thing happening in contemporary Japan. Then again, I suppose that in a 川柳, any sort of human foible can show up, whether it happens in Japan or elsewhere… :wink:

But, then again - and not for the first time - my interpretation may well be all wrong. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

食い逃げ and “bilk,” the nominal of the verb “to bilk,” are new to me.

1 Like

Monday, June 27, 2022

I was out of pocket all day yesterday (watching the Giants get mugged). Did everyone behave while I was away?


Previous senryu

  1. 食い逃げ追って行った男も帰らない
    くいにげおって いったおとこも かえらない
    He ran out in hot pursuit / of the dine-and-dash thief but / never came back either

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: to @pm215 (and welcome!)

  • 2nd try was the charm! Congrats for figuring it out. It seems 99% of the time the trick to understanding these is figuring out the subject/protagonist (in this case a restaurant owner)!

  • Note that we’ve come to realize that syllable-counts and (おん)-counts don’t really correlate 1:1. 5-7-5 syllable counts in English tend to feel wordy and not as “poetic” as the original Japanese. In general, 11 to 15 syllables are preferrable (3-5-3 or 4-5-4 tend to “feel” similar to the originals).

  • :trophy: to @superelf94 and @LaVieQ

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Salaryman

  1. 無茶言うな! サンタはそんなに 金がない

Note that the “Salaryman” volume just means it was a winner of the annual salaryman senryu contest, not necessarily about of for salarymen (this one is obviously aimed at parents).

Another easy one to read. I think it also has just one possible interpretation — prove me wrong!


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

Can you believe it? I missed (りゅう) in my reviews this morning (I’m embarrassed to admit I typed もも).

In my defense, I was out of caffeinated coffee.

3 Likes

Dont be absurd. Santa does not have that much money

3 Likes

むちゃいうな! サンタはそんなにおかねがない
Don’t be ridiculous! Santa doesn’t have that kind of money.

I read through the entire archive at work the past couple of weeks, excited to finally join in! (my kanji comprehension is a bit higher than my wanikani level; I have some college Japanese courses under my belt. Excited to get to WK levels where I don’t already know most things soon :-))

4 Likes

むちゃいうな! さんたはそんなに かねがない
(5-8?!-5 Wild 川柳 composers flouting rules - the nerve!!)

3-5-3

Such rubbish!
Santa doesn’t have that
much money!!

Probably uttered by the frustrated サラリーマン to his child upon hearing his/her wished for expensive Christmas present. The absurdity of it all is that サラリーマン’s family is likely Buddhist (even if in name only).

Poor サラリーマン… (and his poor, not-so-rich Santa). :smile:

4 Likes

I couldn’t think of a translation I liked for the first line, but for the second two:

do you think Santa is / made of money?

3 Likes

Tuesday, June 28, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 無茶言うな! サンタはそんなに 金がない
    むちゃいうな!・さんたはそんなに・かねがない
    Don’t be absurd. / Santa does not have / that much money!

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: to @Linda0r

  • :trophy: to @tiredkiwi (welcome! which island?), @LaVieq, @pm215

  • all submissions were very similar to each other, but @Linda0r successfully made a 4-5-4. @LaVieQ’s 3-5-3 almost took the prize but I ended up going with the first submission.

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Life in one page

  1. 爽快に起き目覚ましの故障知る

A harder one to read today, but I think the interpretation is pretty straightforward. It reminds me of some prior poems.

Wanikani doesn’t teach the 塾語(じゅくご) word 爽快, but the first character shows up on level 47 and the rest are also taught on earlier levels. The primary meaning provided by Wanikani for 故障 works better here than the English words JMdict and other dictionaries use. Yay Wanikani!


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

そうかいに おきめざましの こしょうしる

wake up feeling great / then you realize / alarm clock’s broken

Very Japanese salaryman theme to this one, I feel. (My job’s flexitime so I never have to set an alarm clock anyway – doesn’t mean I always wake up feeling refreshed and raring to go though…)

Will anybody fall into the classic pitfall of forgetting about the meaning difference between しる and しっている ? :slight_smile:

4 Likes

爽快(そうかい)()目覚(めざ)ましの故障(こしょう)()

wake up feeling
refreshed and realize
my alarm failed

The biggest struggle with this one was wrestling with the English syllable count, haha.

5 Likes

Does anyone else get the following vibe? I may be overly influenced by previous senryu that used 知る, but I get the feeling that it’s expressly because they woke up feeling refreshed that they realized their alarm is malfunctioning. Is there any way to capture that?

Yeah, that was the vibe I got as well, but it was hard to capture in English without requiring more words and losing the feel of the poem. I tried my best, but I guess I didn’t succeed :sweat_smile:

1 Like

You’ll note that kibitzing doesn’t require me to actually submit a translation. :grin:

そうかいに おきめざましの こしょうしる

4-5-4 attempt:

Awoke, refreshed!
Then noticed: alarm
had malfunctioned

Interestingly, nowadays I tend to wake up just before the alarm rings. Whatever the time. Rather strange, this premonition of alarm about to ring. Luckily, I don’t have the alarm on most days…

I seem to have (subconsciously) captured that by changing the tense in which it is written… present continuous in Japanese vs. past in my translation.

Yes, but, the daily load of admin work you do ain’t a walk in the park… :wink: Said with appreciation, of course.

3 Likes

Changing it to past tense does seem to work a little better. Though, I think @LaVieQ’s translation still doesn’t necessarily convey that waking up refreshed was why they realized the alarm had malfunctioned. The “then” sort of separates the two actions of waking up and realizing.

I ended up attempting another translation. I thought maybe a semicolon did a better job with connecting the two actions than “and” (and without completely rearranging the sentence).

woke up refreshed;
realized my alarm
had malfunctioned

3 Likes

I like that version best so far. Let’s see what people come up overnight (my time).

1 Like