Just a couple thoughts, the first I’m certain of, the second less so:
久しぶり (without the 「〜ですね！」) doesn’t always mean “long time no see”. Exactly as in your final submission, it can also be「久しぶりに〜」meaning a long time since doing something or since something has happened (not necessarily just meeting or seeing someone).
Another possible interpretation of 笑顔なし is that he’s trying to hide a smile. My initial thought is the salaryman author is hiding the smile from their boss or co-workers. The old salaryman trope is that the boss can’t leave until all their reports have gone home, and that everyone has to give their all to the company.
I actually had the same interpretation as @superelf94
His wife is waiting at home, but surprisingly she‘s not over the moon that he‘s home so early.
It’s also a thing in Japan that wives divorce their husbands after they retire, because before retirement the wives could just do as they please (and even if they didn’t really like their husband they wouldn’t see them much) but now their husbands are around which is of course annoying so they get divorced. I think this is the direction the 川柳 is aiming at. (Not divorce or anything, but „wife is actually happy to spend her time alone and the husband is 邪魔 sometimes“)
I wasn’t going to attempt this one because the subject matter wasn’t terribly compelling to me, but after reading the discussion, I couldn’t resist a more tongue-in-cheek translation (as opposed to a literal one) .
久しぶり 定時帰宅に 笑顔なし！
you’re home early!” said
Too good to be true
But where is the catch?
I‘m getting greedy
Too good to be true
I can’t figure out the trick
Gonna get greedy
I didn’t know how to approach this at first, but @Axazel‘s interpretation helped me figure it out! I went reading a bit about the expression 欲の皮が引っ張る, and to me it seems like it’s describing the feelings of the author: he can“t seem to figure out the trick of this deal, so he“s getting greedy because there might actually be no catch. Happy to be corrected though
Is this about the charm of someone’s company, so much so that the tea pot sits forgotten to the side, making the tea go bitter? The translation doesn’t quite catch the mood, though.
I searched for 渋茶をすする as an idiomatic expression, but found nothing. So, I guess the meaning is literal. However, I discovered the interesting expression 茶々を入れる, which means to interrupt (presumably by pouring tea often, distracting the interaction). Which makes me wonder if the bitter tea is a reference to being so engrossed in whatever is going on with the 相手 that the tea sits neglected and goes bitter.
The website for proverbs ＆ expressions is also handy. See their explanation for 欲の皮が突っ張る。
I’ve changed the order of the OP to put today’s assignment (and the prior translations) at the very top instead of the bottom.
This makes it slightly easier for me to edit every day (I might also start marking the current assignment as the solution every day, but since I want to include prior translations it won’t really save me much work).
Hopefully this makes the top post more useful to others, too, but don’t hesitate to let me know if you don’t like the change.
I’m not going to submit an official entry, but my thought on this was You should also go after that dream, my wife cries. The meaning is the wife is tearfully telling the person to follow their dreams?
That could be way off base, I think the different ideas come from different interpretations of いた, and I’m not totally sure which is right. I thought maybe it could be shoot for (射る) because being in a dream didn’t make much sense to me, but honestly who knows.