(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

You weren’t alone with your original interpretation!

I wonder if the interpretation changes with his wife, though. Is it still a friendly pat? (Sincere question) :laughing:

  1. 肩は社長お尻は妻に叩かれる

Building on @LaVieQ answer, because I really like the pats my back idea:

My boss pats
my back, my wife
kicks my butt

Made it a bit less friendly because I saw 尻を叩く on jisho:
to encourage to do (something); to urge a person on; to demand action​
kick butt is maybe a bit too strong, but at least keeps the 尻 part :thinking:

Edit: probably the joke is how both are about “encouragement”, but the boss is gentle and supportive (肩を叩く), while the wife is strong and chastising (尻を叩く), which is kind of the opposite of what we would expect. (well it’s totally expected in the “Husbands” volume though :grin:)

6 Likes

That’s what I was wondering. I like it. “Spanks” might work as well, but risks sounding kinky rather than disciplinary like “kicks”!

Indeed. Considering the “Husbands” category and that it is a 川柳, your version sounds more 川柳-like in spirit and tone. :smiley:

I too considered “spanked,” but abandoned as it is doesn’t go well with 社長’s action.

1 Like

Kinky boss? We may have invented senryu limericks…

Wednesday, June 15, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 肩は社長お尻は妻に叩かれる
    かたはしゃちょう・おしりはつまに・たたかれる
    My boss pats / my back, my wife / kicks my butt

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: to @Arzar33
  • @Arzar33 said it perfectly: “The joke is how both are about “encouragement”, but the boss is gentle and supportive (肩を叩く), while the wife is strong and chastising (尻を叩く), which is kind of the opposite of what we would expect.”

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Life in 1 page

  1. ゴメンネの代わりか皿を洗ってる

Another easy one! 洗 is level 18, but the other two kanji are level 4.

Hoping for lots of participation!


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

ごめんねの かわりか さらをあらってる

Instead of
“sorry” I’m washing
the dishes

This one is pretty simple! and relatable

2 Likes

I appreciate all the work you put into grading the senryu! I also wasn’t the biggest fan of my translation due to this change, as I was focusing on getting syllable counts, which made the word change. I should’ve put again, searching, but it didn’t fit the poetic style as much.

I appreciate trying to directly translate all the senryu! It’s a fun task that I like to participate in when I get the chance, and I’m honored the few I’ve done have been popular.

That said, I have had a hard time figuring out a clear rule set of how the grading goes because some things just don’t translate as nicely, and since I have been focusing on sylable counts I have taken many liberties before. Knowing now that the direct translation is more favorable I will do my best to translate more directly going forward!

Thanks for your thoughts! and again for keeping this thread entertaining and well managed!

1 Like

Re: your most recent submission:

That darned lack of a subject in Japanese! I read it as the spouse doing the dishes, not the author. I’m curious to see which way most of us interpret it.

That would be my fault as I keep tinkering with the rules! <laugh>

I do think it makes sense to emphasize the Japanese over the English, but it’s fun to tinker with the latter too. As was pointed out to me several times earlier, it can never be purely objective and rules driven: ultimately it comes down to my judgement.

I try to at least document how I’m judging things (even if sometimes retroactively).

No matter what I write, I’ll goof up and apply the rules inconsistently at times. Don’t hesitate to push back or point out errors in my thinking!

2 Likes

ごめんねの かわりかさらを あらってる

4-5-4 translation:

Washing dishes.
All because I didn’t
say, “I’m sorry?”

Translation Attempt

ごめんねのかわりかさらをあらってる

“I’m sorry” substitute? Dishwashing.

Translation notes:

  • This is one of the ones I feel works better as a direct translation.
  • I’m using punctuation as part of the translation here to indicate what’s meant by か and keeping the first part as a noun in the English version.
  • I feel like “nounverbing” is the best English analog for nounをverbている :wink:
2 Likes

Thursday, June 16, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. ゴメンネの代わりか皿を洗ってる
    ごめんねのかわりかさらをあらってる
    “I’m sorry” substitute? Dishwashing.

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: @alo

  • “I’m using punctuation as part of the translation here to indicate what’s meant by か and keeping the first part as a noun in the English version.”

  • This award is almost entirely due to @alo 's incredible ability to go back and stealth edit this senryu everyplace it was written, including the original website, and add that か in the middle that I’LL SWEAR TO MY GRAVE WAS NOT THERE WHEN I LOOKED AT THIS YESTERDAY!

  • The human brain freaks me out. This isn’t the first time this has happened here! Apparently when I read Japanese the 送り仮名 completely disappears. I know we read words at a time in English or Japanese, but it’s increasingly apparent that “extra” kana easily blends in with adjacent 送り仮名. Did anyone else experience this?!

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Global truths

  1. 思いやり思い上がりと紙一重

I can “read” every bit of this without a dictionary. But I still don’t know what it means! (Yet.)


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

Translation attempt

Ah! I think I’ve got it.

  1. 思いやり思い上がりと紙一重

おもいやり・おもいあがりと・かみひとえ

Thoughtfulness is
a paper-thin step
from presumption

Notes:

  • I knew 思いやり meant “consideration” from my WK studies! I had to use an English thesaurus to find a synonym with fewer than 5 syllables, however.
  • I had to look up the connotations for 思い上がり which means conceit or vanity, but also presumption!
  • I knew 一重 meant “one layer” but discovered that 紙一重 meant “paper-thin (difference)”.
  • I couldn’t think of anyway to avoid introducing “step” or some other word without also eliminating “paper-thin” or the like.

Once again, I’m quite confident in my translation. Experience has taught me I’m about to be shown my confidence was misplaced!

4 Likes

おもいやり おもいあがりと かみひとえ

3-5-3

A fine line
divides conceit from
sympathy

Not sure if this is the right meaning, :face_with_diagonal_mouth:

Edit: The psychology of 思い上がり

4 Likes

Friday, June 17, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 思いやり思い上がりと紙一重
    おもいやり・おもいあがりと・かみひとえ
    Thoughtfulness is / a paper-thin step / from presumption

Notes:

  • :trophy: to LaVieQ for a nice poetic interpretation
  • I went with my own translation as I think it’s most faithful to the original Japanese: “paper-thin (step)” vs “fine line”, and I think “thoughtfulness/presumption” are closer than “sympathy/conceit” in this context (though that’s quite subjective).
  • I find it interesting that at first glance (at least to this native English speaker), 一重(ひとえ) seems to have a different connotation here than in 63. 「目は一重アゴ二重に腹は三重」. If you think about it though, it’s really not. It’s just that “one layer” (or “one layer thick”) is applied to different objects (paper and eyes, respectively). I was familiar with the eye usage, but this was a new one for me.

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Heartfelt (しみじみ編)

  1. 恋人のモーニングコール起きて待つ

Wowza. Yet another connotation for しみじみ <blushes>. Easy to read, though (no character beyond level 17).


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

こいびとの モーニングコール おきてまつ (5-8-5)

3-4-3 translation:

Wake up to
wait for my love’s
wake up call

This one was easy after I learned that “morning call” = “wake up call” - didn’t know that until now.
The first translation that came to mind was: Wake up to / wait for my love’s / moaning call. :slight_smile: The kinda call that I’d like to be woken up to. And the translation reads way better than the original. :grin:

I’m traveling for the next 3 days - will resume once I’m back next Tuesday. Y’all have fun.

4 Likes

I hope it’s a pleasure trip.

Thanks for the submission and talk to you in a few days!

I knew what a “morning call” was in katakana-go — “moaning call” didn’t even occur to me!

Even so, I think the connotation is similar. :smile:

1 Like

恋人のモーニングコール起きて待つ

Kana:

こいびとのモーニングコールおきてまつ

Translation attempt:

Waiting for
My lover’s call
On waking

1 Like

Once again I’m going to take a day to submit a poll (and once again I’m sneaking my own submission in at the end).

Which is your favorite? [Please don’t be shy — anyone viewing this thread is welcome to vote.]

恋人のモーニングコール起きて待つ
  • Wake up to / wait for my love’s / wake up call (LaVieQ)
  • Waiting for / My lover’s call / On waking (valvictorine)
  • Awake but / still awaiting my / love’s wake-up (Rrwrex)

0 voters

Coming in late with a submission :sweat_smile:

恋人(こいびと)のモーニングコール()きて()

waiting to
wake up to my love’s
wake-up call

I ended up googling 起きて待つ to see if it was a set expression I was unaware of, and I was amused to find this book on cat-related expressions in English. Here, it’s translated as “wait up for”.

As far as interpretations go, the sense I got from it is that instead of setting an alarm or something, the person is letting their lover be their morning alarm, so it’s not actually morning until their lover has woken them up.

Also, I’ve been a little busy, so I missed this one:

I just wanted to comment that 紙一重 is actually another word that I learned from wrestling, haha. It was used in a wrestling promo that I translated a couple months ago, and has been bouncing around a bit in Anki for me because the reading is a little tricky :sweat_smile:. I did, in fact, manage to read it correctly in the senryu, though, so I guess my practice is counting for something!

3 Likes