(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

A good day at work! So I have a little extra free time/energy today and would like to spend it here.

はんがくしーる / はるてんいんの / あとをつけ

trail behind
the clerk applying
half-off tags

3 Likes

Nice!

I think this 4-5-4 parses slightly better than your 3-5-3, even though it’s nearly identical:

I trail behind
the clerk applying
half-off stickers

Somehow it seems like the English version needs a subject, else it sounds slightly like a command.

2 Likes

How did I know you would say that? :rofl:

What can I say? I was greedy trying for the 3-5-3, and I agree that the 4-5-4 is the ideal version :relieved:

1 Like

Great minds think alike?

1 Like

はんがくシールはるてんいんのあとをつく

4-5-4
Shadowing the / store staff as they stick / “Half off!” tags on

Reminded me of the days of 円高 (when the¥was strong against the $), when groups of women from Japan used to visit the US for shopping. They would wander around the department stores smiling and saying 「やすいね! やすい!」and such to each other - even encountered a few a couple of times at Filene’s.

2 Likes

Wednesday, June 8, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 半額シール貼る店員の後をつけ
    はんがく・シールはるてんいんの・あとをつく
    Shadowing the / store staff applying / “Half off!” stickers

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: to @LaVieQ with a 3-5-3 at the end
  • :trophy: to @Axazel with a quick 3-5-3 out of the gate
  • I still couldn’t keep myself from rewording slightly. ごめん!
  • The final form definitely benefitted from the team wordsmithing, I think.

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Seniors

  1. 孫の名に変えて絵本を読んでやる

This makes me miss my grandson! I don’t know if my kanji is improving or we are just on a lucky streak with simple words, but I haven’t had to look up many words for the past few days.


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

This one is so lovely. The perfect poem for the end of a good day :city_sunset:

まごのな / にかえてえほん / をよんてやる

with my grandchild’s
name swapped in the book
I’ll read to them

I almost misread やる for いる! :face_with_open_eyes_and_hand_over_mouth: That changed the meaning a little bit, especially once I found out that 〜て遣る (〜てやる) has a definition that I never studied before which is “to give (esp. to someone of equal or lower status), to let have, to present, to bestow, to confer”

思い遣り is the same reading and has a lightly similar theme of “for other people”. Thought I’d add it here just in case anyone’s like me and can use this to help them remember later!

3 Likes

That verb is easy for me to remember.

「やてくれる?」was a common refrain from my kids growing up (and from me asking somebody to do something for me).

1 Like

Haha Well, add くれる and I’m there with you! One of my friend’s favorite thing to say is 「やめてくれませんか? 」in the sweetest tone and with a big smiling face. It makes me laugh so hard every time.

Hearing about you missing your grandson and mention about when your kids were young touches my heart :sparkles: I hope you get to see him again soon!

1 Like

Wow, for once I actually knew all of the words!

(まご)()()えて絵本(えほん)()んでやる

reading to
my grandchild, swapping
in their name

4 Likes

まごのなに かえてえほんを よんでやる

4-5-4

Read picture book
to grand kids but use
their names instead

meh! My translation makes little sense as a standalone English Senryu.
But, avoided accusation of favoring one sex or another for the grand kid(s) by making use of the singular/plural ambiguity of 日本語 and the indifference of English to syllable count of singular/plural. :smiley:

3 Likes

Thursday, June 9, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 孫の名に変えて絵本を読んでやる
    まごのな / にかえてえほん / をよんてやる
    Reading picture
    book with grandkids names
    substituted

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: to LaVieQ (for explicitly calling it a “picture” book)
  • :trophy: to @fallynleaf and @Axazel for otherwise great submissions
  • As usual, I couldn’t help tinkering with the winning wording (using a 4-syllable word is satisfying :grin: )
  • I did manage to keep it a 4-5-4

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Various settings

  1. 失敗をアララですます新社員

Another easy one to read! I think nothing higher than WK level 17.

Also another familiar sentiment (if I’m reading it right). It will be fun to see how folks translate this one!

Hint:

If I’m reading it correctly, the trick is parsing ()ます and realizing it’s the following usage:

〔間に合わせる〕 make ┏do [shift] 《with…》; manage 《with…》; make sth ┏do [serve the purpose].


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

Wow!

I just realized we’ve already translated 52 of these. Time flies when you’re having fun.

The good news is we still have 304 more to go.

Eventually I plan to write a “Senryu for the day” dashboard script so anyone can enjoy these with their reviews.

Notes to self about the script

The simplest thing is usually best for v1, so my current thoughts are:

  • Store a list translations with the script itself (in random order — like the order we’re currently translating them in).

  • Hash the current day’s date (local time) to select a translation in the list. The first algorithm that comes to mind: Let TODAY = the current day of the year (1 to 366), and COUNT = the total number of translated poems in the list. Use TODAY mod COUNT find the index of a poem. This algorithm allows new versions of the script to append to the list of translations while still ensuring previously displayed translations aren’t reused until all translations have been displayed. It also ensures every translation appears eventually. Since our source of poems has (slightly) only has 356 poems, this simple modulo algorithm should suffice. I’d really like to find 9 or 10 more senryu.

  • Display the original Japanese in a nice font without furigana or translation on the dashboard.

  • Click once to display the furigana.

  • Click again to display the translation and any reading notes.

3 Likes

Translation attempt

  1. 失敗をアララですます新社員

しっぱいを・アララですます・しんしゃいん

Here’s a 3-5-3 that I think captures the spirit without straying too far from the original:

New-hire says
"Oopsie daisy! “Meh,
good enough”

2 Likes

I will let this one run for another day. I’m not comfortable going with my own translation, especially without any likes! I’m probably missing something or simply translating incorrectly.

しっぱいを あららですます しんしゃいん

3-4-3
The new hire: /
cries “Oh, No!” at /
all his faults.

The learning from this 川柳 : すます can take one of two 漢字: 済ます or 澄ます, and in the context of this verse, conveys widely different meanings. 2字目の漢字ならは社員がクビになっちゃう! :grimacing:

The edited final version of 109 of yours makes much better sense in English, in addition to making it a terse 3-4-3. Good job!

1 Like

I suppose that your translation of すます would use the 澄ます kanji (as opposed to the 済ます in my translation). I overlooked the “non-chalant new hire” interpretation even after I looked up the meaning using either kanji. So, this serves as a good example for 澄ます.

1 Like

Saturday, June 11, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 失敗をアララですます新社員
    しっぱいを・アララですます・しんしゃいん
    New-hire says / "Oopsie daisy! “Meh, / good enough”

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: to @LaVieQ
  • Bult ultimately I chose to go with my translation, as I think the sentiment is about the new employee not worrying sufficiently about their faults.
  • There remains a question over whether this uses 済ます or 澄ます. My best guess is that it’s the former, specifically using it with で. It’s very similar to なしで済ます - Jisho.org except in this case instead of “doing without,” I think it means “doing with an ‘アララ’ exclamation” (as if that sufficed!).

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Seniors

  1. この姑いなけりゃ彼もいなかった

Hints:

  • I’m not certain, but I think this might be Kansai-ben.
  • (しゅうとめ) was surprisingly a new word for me (mother-in-law with connotations of a bossy, overbearing personality).

Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

I suspect I’m not the only one struggling with this one.

Let me kick off the discussion with my likely incorrect interpretation. Potential spoilers ahead if you still want to work it out for yourself.

I think this is saying something like: “If my mother-in-law wasn’t around, he that lunk wouldn’t be around, either”. My (possibly optimistic) interpretation is that she’s kinda gritting her teeth around her mother-in-law, telling herself that without her, the husband she loves would never have been born. The less kindly interpretation is that it’s all her fault!

I’m going with “he” for ()れ because it sounds too harsh to use for one’s wife (but I’m unsure as usual!). My initial read was that it was from a man’s perspective, but that’s probably unconscious bias on my part, so I changed it to a woman’s perspective after thinking about it for a bit. (That, and the fact that it’s normally read (かれ) which is definitely for men.)

I’m pretty sure いなけりゃ is Kansai-ben for ()なければ .

Any other thoughts?

2 Likes

Thanks! What’s the expression? I get the last bite at the apple? It’s an unfair advantage (and I’m wayyyyyy more comfortable with English).