(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

In his journal
He calls his boss by
A cute nickname

4/5/4

1 Like
  1. 日記には上司の名前君付けで

にっきにはじょうしのなまえくんづけで

In his diary
He treats his boss with more
Informality

5/6/5

Yeah, that was a stumbling block. Since ‘familiarity’ has six syllables, I went for ‘informality’ instead.

However, since my most trusted dictionaries (both British RP and American) show only three syllables for ‘familiar’, we could have:

In his diary
He’s overly familiar
With his manager

5/7/5

3 Likes

Friday, February 10, 2023


Previous senryu

  1. 日記には上司の名前君付けで
    にっきには・じょうしのなまえ・くんづけで
    on a first-name / basis with my boss / in my journal

I think this version best captures the spirit.

As discussed, this was tricky to translate into English!

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Various settings

  1. なお変になって出てくる美容院

I’m definitely not giving any hints for this one. I think I get the gist, but I’m always confused by なお.


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.

Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like
  1. なお変になって出てくる美容院

なおへんに なってでてくる びよういん

Emerge more
Funky from the
Beauty salon
3-4-4

Is this an adjectival clause The beauty parlor [that one] emerges from [after] becoming more odd or a phrase that ends in a noun ?[I] became more strange after I emerged – beauty parlor

4 Likes

It’s late and I’ve had a couple drinks, but I can’t begin to parse that!

Your translation jibes with my understanding, though. :smile:

1 Like

なおへんになってでてくるびよういん

pop out to the
beauty salon and
emerge weirder

7 Likes

If it helps, I basically just put brackets around words I didn’t think were in the original Japanese, and the phrases after ‘adjectival clause’ and ‘noun’ are translations assuming the haiku is each respectively.

1 Like

Monday, February 13, 2023


Previous senryu

  1. なお変になって出てくる美容院
    なおへんに ・なってでてくる・びよういん
    pop out to the / beauty salon and / emerge weirder

The trickiest part of this for me was なお. I’m pretty sure that なお変になって means “even stranger” or “all the more strange” or something to that effect, so I think this translation captures the meaning quite well.

I’m still quite unclear on when to use なお, もっと, or より, nor do I understand the differences in nuance or usage. Any tips will be appreciated.

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Ladies

  1. 脳みそに分けてあげたい顔のシワ

Hmm. シワ was new vocabulary for me, but once I looked that up the meaning became clearer.

Looking forward to seeing how people translate this into an English senryu.


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.

Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like

Here’s a 3/4/3:

oh, to share
my face’s wrinkles
with my brain

6 Likes

Doesn’t this one mean something like “seems like my face is trying to explain wrinkles to my brain”? (That is, a comparison to the wrinkly surface of a human brain?)

1 Like

I don’t think so, no. 分けてあげたい == 分ける to share out, to divide up + あげる ‘do something for somebody else’ aux verb + たい ‘want to do’ suffix. The speaker is lamenting that their face is too wrinkly and their brain is too smooth and wishes they could redistribute some of the wrinkles…

5 Likes

のうみそにわけてあげたいかおのシワ

i want to
give my face wrinkles
to my brain

Me and pm215 were on the same brain wrinkle wavelength for this one, I think! Though my translation is a bit plainer… :sweat_smile:

6 Likes
  1. 脳みそに分けてあげたい顔のシワ

のうみそにわけてあげたいかおのシワ

If only
My brain were as furrowed
As my face

3/6/3

5 Likes

Saturday, February 18, 2023


Previous senryu

  1. 脳みそに分けてあげたい顔のシワ
    のうみそに・わけてあげたい・かおのシワ
    If only / my brain were as furrowed / as my face

I forgot that, in Japan at least, people believe that more folds/creases in your brain (more surface area) equates to higher intelligence! (I’m pretty sure that’s not true, though.)

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Intense

  1. 親孝行したい時には職はなし

Oh, great. A poem about filial piety – one of my favorite meaning definitions on Wanikani!


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.

Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

2 Likes
  1. 親孝行したい時には職はなし

    おやこうこう したいときには しょくはなし

When I want to talk
About Family Duty
It’s work-talk instead

5-7-5

I felt like I had to use a bunch of syllables for this one to fully express the thought. Even in the original, the first line has 6 mora. I think some poetic license may be needed to make it more short and pithy. Also, in terms of interpretation, I think the speaker is supposed to have adult children or is elderly and is complaining that their children shift the topic to the troubles they are facing at their jobs whenever the speaker talks about ‘filial piety’. I’m not sure how rigid a concept filial piety is in Japan, but my best guess, since 親孝行 seems to me to be a general phrase, is that the speaker is talking about coming over to visit them and dote on them, but a less likely idea I had was that it refers to giving them money.

Update, after looking into a definition of 親孝行 to solve the above conundrum, I found the following definition: 「[名・形動](スル)親を大切にし、真心をもってよく尽くすこと。また、そのさまや、その人。「―したいときには親はなし」「―な少年」⇔親不孝。」at 「親孝行」の意味や使い方 わかりやすく解説 Weblio辞書. Basically, “treating [your] parents with care, and serving them with a sincere heart. Also, such a state or person.” What was interesting was the next part, "親孝行したいときには親はなし” which I deepl’d and found meant “There are no parents when you want to dote on them”.

Looking further, this is actually a proverb, which is explained as “親孝行をしたいと思った時には親が生きておらず、孝行ができない” on https://prtimes.jp/main/html/rd/p/000000108.000045126.html#:~:text=「親孝行したいときに親,ができないという意味です。 . Basically, 'When you want to dote on your parents, they are no longer alive [so do it now]." Which means the poem is actually likely a play on words, with the last word being は無し instead of 話, and deliberately left in kana as seen before to allow for a second meaning: “When I want to dote on my parents, I have no work”, which I’m interpreting to mean “When I’m thinking about filial piety, it is when I am out of a job” or perhaps “When I’m thinking about filial piety, there are no duties to be done anyways.”

I may submit some more senryuu with the latter two interpretations. Side note, not sure how credible prtimes.jp is, but in the site above they do a survey on 親孝行 on working adults: 4% - A lot of filial piety 19% - When the opportunity arises 36%- Only a little 41%- Not at all . Interestingly, one of the reasons the “not at all” people gave was “the more I do it the less financial leeway I have”, so maybe my idea about giving them money wasn’t off. Other examples of 親孝行 given were giving them gifts, taking them on trips, calling them, or going to meet them in person. It’s worth to note the size was only 182 people. Also it was kind of funny to me to see the implicit bias in the article since for each category of people above they suggest ways they can show more 親孝行 - “If you don’t make enough money in your 20s - 30s because you need to pay bills, why not do some familial duties when you get a bonus?” They seem to have a vested interest in getting people to do more 親孝行. As for me, I think 親孝行 is a fine concept, and I’d think probably most people don’t do it enough/as much as they’d like/have some regrets about not doing enough, but hey family stuff is complicated and messy and there are objectively poor parents as well.

Sorry for the monstrous comment.

5 Likes

I’m totally unsure of my understanding, but 親孝行 means a child minding their parents, being an obedient child, and I think 職はなし here means there is no task available to give to the child. So I think this one is something about a child being obedient when there are no chores available (annoying the parent).

2 Likes

Interesting, I read the original as topic particle は + なし without/none, rather than 話し

4 Likes

Could also be from the child’s pov, I guess… edit: in fact that seems more likely because ~したい has to be the speaker wanting to do it, not somebody else.

3 Likes

I was reading it as the parent talking about the child wanting to be helpful/obedient, but I’m still completely uncertain.

Yeah, you can’t do that with ~たい, it’s first person and questions only. To talk about what somebody else wants to do you have to use ~たがる or some other phrasing.

3 Likes