There was fighting
The winning child is crying
I kept the same translation of 幼稚園 as everyone else, because it seems to fit the meaning of the component kanji (and gets me closer to 5/7/5 ). I would never use that generally, given I am from the UK and kindergarten is more a US term. I couldn’t decide whether to bother with the sense of も, I didn’t in the end, but could have gone for cries as well but I don’t like the way the shift in tenses work in that case.
As for the location of the subject at the end, I feel like this is something I’ve seen in Haiku where a few observations precede the reveal of the subject of the poem (Cold Wind / bright sunshine: / spring morning)
It strikes me that Senryu often feel more like aphorisms than poems (unlike haiku) and if I was going to translate with that in mind I would say “Nursery school is where even the winning child cries after a fight”.
That is fair, I think it is only really used in specific contexts, like darts scoring, or to describe a triple measure of drinks. Trebles all round is a reference to Private Eye, where it is used to signify back slapping celebration, usually by people who are profiting off corruption, incompetence or misfortune.
I was totally baffled by this before reading the translations and explanations @Rrwrex@Gorbit99
My first-class ticket
in the waiting room
Explanation: I really struggled with what this poem intended to get across. Then I imagined a crowded waiting room, and the futility of trying to get through, even if you have a first-class ticket or priority boarding. That’s the feeling I’m going for here. I have no idea if that was the intended feeling though!
I think it’s more about showing off, lording about. Or “despite appearances, I really am in first class”.
Years ago, I was always amazed at a long haul commuter train. The regular cars were always jam packed at rush hour, but the green cars were almost empty. The price difference for a ticket was only like fifty cents or something as I recall! (Of course, I only rode it occasionally - the 50% or whatever price difference for a monthly commuter pass would have been too rich for my blood, too).