This might be an unpopular opinion or maybe i’m an outlier but i’m slowly beginning to start hating Japanese society, i’m about 4 or 5 years into learning now, i can read novels without much effort. I’ve made so many friends and wonderful memories. But i often feel the inside outsider mentality so tolling. Racism i’ve experienced, judgement etc, assuming i have bad intentions when i’m nothing but positive. it’s really start bringing me down. Usually interactions are fine in small groups, or individually, but when it comes to groups i find it’s going back to highschool, so much back stabbing and talking behind peoples backs.
When i first started i was everything new and sparkling and fantastic, and that evolved into seeing japan as a normal country and its negative parts but now, i can’t seem to push past the negative parts.
It’s really bringing me down, because my love for Japan and the motivation it gave me, it really inspired me to change and improve myself tenfold over these past few years. But with my love slowly fading i’m falling back into my old negative self.
I’ve read about the stages of learning / integrating into a society before and i found this phenomenon. i just wonder am i alone here?