I already track a million different ways (study log, natively, habit app, page count tracker), so I’ve decided the daily thread is for the daily read, as other reads will be tracked anyways.
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That is a lot of stuff, good job 
I did the exact same thing not too long ago, I started reframing it as when I have an off day it feels like my brain telling me it’s actually time for a day off so I can relax without guilt and try again tomorrow
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I am fed up of getting ill.
Things I read last week
葬送のフリーレン
Ch39
Ooh, 捕 kanji soon I will guru it in wk.
… Frieren knows a bird-catching spell and is only bringing this up now?
Ah, v. close range spell. Understood.
Well, we didn’t hear the plan, that means it’ll work.
Members of party 4: Rant, Yuubell, Fern.
I’m not sure why Yuubell is suggesting they refill the dried up river, but I think she thinks it will help get them more points on the next test?
I read half the chapter. It counts. My brain is sleepy.
Frieren
They speculate if the water is being blocked by the barrier, but Yuubell says it’s been dry at least week before that went up.
Okay, people can carry water, but the animals can’t, so the boundary was set up so that the birds can still access water. Therefore, the theory is someone is boiling up the rivers to make the birds gather just at the lake, so they’re easier to catch. I think.
And they are being threatened for their birdy.
Was it Frieren’s group who dried up the rivers? If so, I think they have deliberated removed all water sources except the one Kanne has made, so the birds will have to go there to not die of thirst. And, it’s small enough that the range of her spell should work fine.
スーと鯛ちゃん
ふたつのスピカ
Things I listened to last week
ノラガミ
Felt a headache coming on so I went and had a nap. Now going to attempt ノラガミ episode 3. Wasn’t expecting the 自殺 stuff. I didn’t understand anywhere near enough, just enough to get the line Yato said and also about the shinki origins.
episode 4
I am not sure what to make of this thing. Between the absurdly long time they spend having a conversation while they fall (and this not being a bottomless pit situation) and having ひより’s face over the other girl for some reason. I’m just weirded out and can’t take it seriously.
I’ve decided to just listen to ノラガミ today, skipping the podcast until Friday. Because I yet again have caught a damned cold.
日本語の会話のpodcast
This one is N2, so I’m expecting it to be difficult and reading the description to prepare. It seems to be about something like those speed dating events I’ve heard about?
(00:00) Saying it’s the part 2 of the dating app one.
(00:50) First part, what is まちこん？ In the past, you need a ticket for it. People talk and meet each other during a meal. Usually about 100 people, and they take a photo of them all. Now, it’s just one company organising it. Someone being bossy and controlling when people must sit down? Saying participants are usually people who have no friends. Which is different from how it used to be.
(05:30) One of them went to a まちこん. Women get in for free, but it’s \5000 for men. Food and drink, she just had some sweets. It lasted an hour and a half. Not understanding what she did. There was a bit where everyone was quiet and it was awkward. She is now mimicking the organiser’s voice.
(12:50) I’m struggling to focus, I think they’re talking about getting potential dates’ contact information from the organiser. But honestly I’m already just done with this episode.
(15:50) Not using まちこん to get married, but the other one really wants to try the まちこん？ But not get anyone’s contact information from it. One asked the other if she wants to go again and I do not understand if her answer was a yes or a no.
Podcast episode 21
This is going to be an uncomfortable one so I’d rather not take notes…
Sakura Tips
Misc Learning
SRS (barely) maintained
Bunpro N4 - finished
Japanese Ammo with Misa
Club Progress
フリーレン - kept pace
軌跡 - nothing
約束のネバーランド - nothing
Podcast - two
ふたつのスピカ - small read
NANA - nothing
ノラガミ - watched double
Podcast with ako - nothing
Having had a look at my log, I think I may have been ill all of last week. On Monday I remarked that my brain was sleepy, but I didn’t notice I was ill until Wednesday. Makes sense, since I was on the bus on Sunday and I’m pretty sure I come down with something every time I go on the damned thing.
And I’m just frustrated. I’m not even super ill, it’s actually just a cold. But they still affect me an annoying amount and it’s just. Can we not? There are things I want to do. Why am I no longer able to do these things with just a little cold?
Yesterday I did the thing where I’m feeling a little better so I try to play catch up. I had a headache within 10 minutes, so made the slightly smarter choice of not pushing myself beyond the base hour I wanted to do. Probably should have just stopped after the 10 minutes.
Just feeling a general sense of doom and gloom. Ugh.
If I feel up for it later, I’ll put some effort into catching up with spica and nana.
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Common cold is honestly my worst enemy. You are not super ill but it just linger and makes it hard to do anything, it is such a stupid illness. Hope you get rid of it soon 
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Oh, brain fog during an illness is just the worst. I feel you. Get better soon! 
I had a case of a particularly bad brain fog yesterday after a week of sleeping 4-5 hours a night. Looking at a kanji you’d seen 3 minutes prior and remembering nothing about it at all was a special kind of awful. Sleep is not overrated… As well as good health 
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Things I read last week
空の軌跡
I read the first scene for the 41st kiseki week. In terms of play time, 50m. In terms of real time, probably double it. But I got to the vocab sheet before anyone else so I feel helpful, hooray.
Lots of look ups, but I feel helpful, but so so slow going, but it’s my club I’m running so really this should be my responsibility in the first place.
お見舞い I was hearing this a lot in one of the episodes of Inuyasha I watched yesterday.
I’m so nervous aaaaaaah but I did get through a lot of kiseki as a good distraction, but I was panicking in the last scene if I’d finish in time to save before I leave (i did).
I decided my daily reading was 軌跡 until I finished the week and then I can read other stuff but dear Aidios my brain hurts XD. I also was vaguely thinking I can read other stuff in the evenings if I want to, but I have not been doing that. Oh well. I have been ill.
I am having a lot of fun reading outloud though.
Finally finished this week’s 軌跡 reading. This is sustainable. Sigh.
スーと鯛ちゃん
レンタルおにいちゃん
ふたつのスピカ
I’m not going to be able to catch up will all of this and Nana like I’d wanted, so my goal is to just finish this chapter.
I feel like I’m missing something. End of last volume, they were still in the test right? I was confused for the first half of the chapter if this was after, or before on her way to the test? Although, now that I think about it maybe they did finish? Either way, it seems she passed as she’s at the dormitory.
リンゴちゃんは優しいね。
At the dorm, アスミ has her own room with an en-suit, but the kitchen and laundry are shared.
Something about the 花粉症 feels… off. Maybe it’s just my 2020 paranoia kicking in.
Some information about the school アスミ is in. There are other courses. As a whole, the school gets about 400 new students per year (and currently has 2100 students total, so ~ five year courses? Longer if people are failing/dropping out.) Anyway, the astronaut course is smaller and has 26 of those 400 new students.
Okay, there was a skip, since 圭ちゃん is here and happy to find out アスミ passed.
I feel アスミ’s embarassment at not having a phone despite everyone else having one.
Ah, the entrance ceremony speech specifies that it is a four year course, or at least the one アスミ is in.
Not-walnut (I really should learn his actual name since it’s here) was supposed to give a speech, but is not here.
Had a quick skim of the previous volume to remind myself, they did finish the test, and there was that suspicious guy looking at アスミ’s paperwork who I’d forgotten about.
Ah, that was a timely reminding myself of him, he was litterally on the next page. XD He wants everyone to pass except for アスミ
Ah, I was wondering about the glasses…
Got so confused, I was wondering why she lives in her dorm if she can walk to her dad’s house, but he’s just come over to visit.
Okay but like the shop you’re trying to find is gone, it’s been 20 years, it probably closed down. And never mind they figured it out.
I cannot figure out what that thing that looks like 髪止め is supposed to be and kankan has failed me. Well, I have a guess from the context, but I can’t find this word using the english I think it translates to either.
Aw, she gets to be dormmates with her friends, yay. Aw, they care about her. Aw she’s happy. My heart. 
生き残った６人によると
MORE READING! HOORAY BRAIN COOPERATION!
生き残った６人によると - ch. 10. it has 6 in the title, so he’s probably just sleeping.
薬屋のひとりごと
finished the chapter I was on. The book specifies that she tastes the baby’s food as well as Gyokuyou’s. Read more loosely on her conversation with Hongniang as I’ve good memory of how that scene goes in the anime .
Things I listened to last week
Nihongo Picnic Podcast
Going to try out the first episode of the Nihongo Picnic Podcast (because it is the shortest of my listening options)
not a fan of that music. 緊張 is understandable. She explains what a side job is, and then uses her friend as an example. She does IT for her main job, and sells art online as her side job. She wants to be an illustrator full-time, but she’s not good enough yet. There used to be not a lot of people with side jobs, but now companies have laxed their rules about it there are more. Lists of popular side jobs. あこ is also a YouTuber as her side job. She explains how the adverts are how she gets money, but you need a thousand subscribers first. Between _ and _ she wasn’t earning money from her YouTube. I think she was explaining people don’t earn enough at their company jobs, so they get side jobs to solve this problems, but this minute was more difficult. Something else about her friend. I like how she laughts. I don’t like her choice in music.
I’m happy with how understandable that was.
podcast ep2
This episode is about Animal Crossing. She’s talking about the game, and explaining like a trade system. Her island grows oranges, but she gets apples, peaches, cherries and stuff from her friends. Now talking about t-shirts. I don’t know much about the series, so not super invested in this episode. I think she said when you get a loan in the game, it is not involving real life money. Zoned out, but then she mentioned covid and I rewound a bit. There was a couple who could not get married due to the pandemic, but inside the game there was a surprise and they had their wedding there. … Did she actually just share her friendcode to everyone listening? Ugh I’m far too paranoid to do that.
日本語の会話のpodcast
episode 22
I intend to listen to half of it today and the other half tomorrow. Or, depending how the topic split works out.
(00:00) きび says she likes the hospital and wants やまむ to go with her? Which, no? I caught 虫歯 so they’ve moved onto the dentist. In Japan, hospitals have good service. They’re talking about hospitals and pharmacies.
- how relevant, I have to go to the doctors this afternoon
(01:55) Topic one: where do you go when you have a cold? (answer: nowhere be a hermit) きび says there are a lot of small hospitals near where she lives. やまむ talks about going when she was a child. Seems Japanese people go to the hospital often. (maybe less hospital and more like their gp equivalent?) One of them mentions going even though they are not ill? やまむ has allergies, so she received a test for them. Every spring, きび does something. やまむ talks about a time her ears could not hear well, and she thought she might be sick, so she went to the doctors. I think she’s saying she just needed the wax removed. しょうにか is an illness. Something about girls hitting puberty earlier than boys affects which is more likely to get しょうにか. The medicine for it is sweet. Now they are talking about a woman’s illness. (why only women?) I missed きび’s answer, but やまむ had it in high school. Talking about names of hospitals, やまむ went to a Heart Clinic which sounded like a scary place but wasn’t. When きび was in middle school she kept breaking her bike. Now switching to pharmacies, which are convenient in Japan.
- changed my mind on the only watching half the episode, but am pausing to have a break. (was 15m of break)
(11:20) Second topic, things you often buy at the pharmacy. TOOTHPASTE! Icecream does not fit, neither does eggs. Mushrooms are cheaper at the pharmacy than the supermarker? I almost feel like I’m misunderstanding what they mean by ドラッグストア. They sell food cheaper than you can get it at the supermarket. Whereas きび says the pharmacy is in the supermarket??? Asking, is there anything the pharmacy does not sell? The answer is things like pens or paper or dog food. They (do?) have toilet paper and baby stuff. Talking about what they recently bought. やまむ bought bread and something for her friend who had a baby. きび bought something to stop the kitchen sink being smelly. Now they are talking about the medicine they sell. If you have a fever or a cough, they tell you to go to the hospital instead. まおうとう is a thing they are talking about.
(19:30) Summary. ドラッグストアは便利。
Lookups:
しょうにか = pediatrics (children medicine (not an illness))
まおうとう = ??? can’t find
ドラッグストア = drugstore = pharmacy (had to double check I didn’t autocorrect the american wrong)
ノラガミ
Watched half an episode of ノラガミ because I don’t have to push myself to watch a full episode. Better to watch the halves than push myself too far. Comprehension of this show is still not adequet, but I caught a conversation was relevant to why the show is named what it is (did I understand said conversation? nope). Also I caught 恩人 which I’ve come across in 軌跡 a few times, so that’s a word being learnt somehow, and helps with surrounding conversation.
Watching second half of ノラガミ before I lose the motivation. Not that I payed basically any attention to it.
For listening, a ノラガミ while eating breakfast. I still don’t understand anywhere near enough, but I felt like my understanding was better than it has been so I’m considering my whole bleh thing over, so I can finally actually do stuff, hooray! Rest successful!
Sakura Tips
Misc Learning
SRS
Various Grammary Bits
Today’s grammar was interesting, because as I was looking at the sentences for もの・もん, I kept seeing 決まってる being used in “of course X is going to happen” sentences, so even though I don’t technically “know” what’s going on there, it feels like 決まってる is being used like a “it’s already been decided by how the world works” → “of course” kind of meaning.
Today’s revising grammar
Sentence: 自信が起きた場合は、～～～
Me: … What? That doesn’t make sense…
Answer: In the case of an earthquake, ~~~
Me: OH! Wrong じしん
I hope there’s not any mistakes I won’t notice.
Reading outloud counts as speaking probably
Club Progress
Kept pace with 軌跡 and スピカ.
I believe that my brain is now cooperating me, though I’m not 100% well yet. It’s actually really annoying, the day I was thinking I feel good my wisdom teeth decided to have a look-see if they’re going to come out or not, and now I have a New and Improved cold. (Improved because I feel more functional.) Or maybe the old one didn’t go away completely. Whatever.
Burnout is a weird and nebulous thing. From learning things in the Autism post-diagnostic course I’m on and talking to my support worker, I’ve figured out that The burnout probably started in 2021 (and would have been approaching before then too) and then ended… Well. Now-ish? Like, it wouldn’t have had the opportunity to end before I moved into this house last July. So, I am in the process of getting better.
But it’s also weird, because it’s not like burnout for me means I’m completely incapable of doing anything. It kinda ebbs and flows and when it ebbs and I feel a tinsy bit okay I push myself to do stuff and then in flows and I don’t and feel bad about it. And because I keeping pushing myself trying to be okay, I keep pushing myself back into this vague burnout state. And part of it feeling shitty is because of internalised ableism stuff because I feel like I should be able to do more than I’m doing. It’s difficult to accept that I genuinely can’t. I’d apparently rather believe I’m just a lazy piece of shit.
Anyway, how is this relevant to Japanese? I mean, I’ve just said I’m burnt out and yet I update this thing and study and stuff. Well, Japanese was always the thing I used to distract myself when I was supposed to be doing something else. Whether that be real school or 2020 or looking for somewhere to live before I end up homeless. But there’d be a point where the stress is more so I stop and don’t come back to it until the next time I needed a distraction. Except, with that last one I didn’t reach the more stress point because I found somewhere to live. I talk smack about that shithole now, but without it and the dodgy landlord with his illegal activities, I would have been on the streets. I mostly try not to think about it.
What I’m trying to get to is even though I’m doing SO much better than I was, I’m not there yet. I’ve been told I need to reduce demands and rest. And I’m like, I don’t even have that many demands. So, had a talk with the support worker about what is and is not a demand. Some demands, do not feel like demands, like feeding the dog and brushing my teeth. Some demands, do feel like demands, like feeding myself and showering. Those are things I Should Not reduce, and they add up to be an annoyingly small amount that I’m barely capable of.
The biggest demand that I could reduce is the book clubs on here. I… do not want to. It feels like giving up. But I’m already behind on everything. But I’m already reducing demands by not joining more clubs despite wanting to. It’s not like I have no good days. They are things I want to do. And yet every week I am fighting my brain over it. I don’t want to make a decision before my cold is gone. I’m kinda hoping I can get it together and not need to drop anything. This is the thing I come back to when I’m stressed. I am less stressed. I don’t want to drop it trying to get to no stress. I don’t want to never be okay again either.
At the very least I won’t be dropping 軌跡. Which is the most demanding of my demands. But I started this damned club and I WILL finish it. Even if I only finish posting the weekly threads and can’t get through all the reading myself. Which is another thing I feel bad about. But also vaguely optimistic, because if I managed to keep up last week despite my being vaguely ill, I could keep up in following weeks. I’ll barely have time for any of the other clubs, but maybe I drop them to keep this. It’s not like I’m talking about dropping things forever, I do intend to come back to the things I drop. Eventually.
I dunno. I’m just trying to sort out my feelings on the idea. Stupid brain and it’s contradictory thoughts. And uh it may not seem like it with how down this study log feels, but I’ve actually been feeling pretty decent about life the past couple days. Maybe not good, but just. Decent.
I’m gonna say for next week my only goal is to keep up with 軌跡 club. (and also the read/listen every day challenges, and also I could catch up with XYZ as part of that, and also I’m not resting properly I should trying playing a game that isn’t sims, and also my library books are due Friday so I need to finish both of those, and also I should go shop so I can make more curry, and also, and also…)
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Decent is good! Decent, in fact, can be great!
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Past week has been pretty good, though I messed up my sleep last night so not too good this morning. Gonna try and not bring the mood of my study log down just 'cause I’m in a bit of a grump.
Things I read last week
BGIII
My sisters wanted to play BGIII with me, and when I loaded the game I realised I had changed every game I could into Japanese a while back. So, today I had some fun deciphering menus and spell descriptions. I’m happy I was able to guess 爆発, despite not knowing the kanji, from remembering having heard the word and then the context of what the spell did.
Being able to count BGIII yesterday was oddly motivating. Like sure there are English voice, and sure there were a few times my sister listened to my conversations to tell me which dialogue option was which. But, I was able to understand a functional amount.
空の軌跡
I feel bad because my brain got tired in the middle of a cutscene, but, I need to try to not force it.
Reading lots and lots of kiseki. Taking a small break once returned to room, but it’s a long cutscene I’ve started and I want to finish it, but first little break.
Muppets? Muppets. XD sure okay
IT BLEEPING CRASHED ON ME!!! (I’ll chuck an extra hour on my time count, it shouldn’t be too far off)
I DID IT HOORAY! (and I’ve got days left for reading whatever the fuck else I want to read!)
Actually, I have realised, I don’t need to do anything else today. 軌跡 took long enough that I reached the theoretical maximum of studying in a day. SO there is 0 pressure on doing anything else, so I can enjoy doing whatever the fuck I want 0 consequences.
光が死んだ夏 - starting a new manga (because I feel like it and you can’t stop me)
薬屋のひとりごと
Today I’m starting with my reading, because I watched last night’s apothecary episode (I was distracted and forgot about it) and now I want to try and read some.
Maomao notes:
尚寝 - what is this? Even though there’s furigana, I cannot find it in my dictionaries, each kanji is showing up as it’s own word.
This is the part where it explains Maomao’s scars are self-inflicted (as we wouldn’t have had the anime opening showing her doing that), and also a lot of weight talk? I think Maomao is saying fatter people can handle higher doses of poison before it becomes lethal.
I like that a sofa is a long chair, 長椅子
Little break halfway through the chapter.
I already know the explanation for the 枝 mystery, but I’m glad I was able to understand the text version too. And I like seeing a line I remember clearly and seeing exactly how it breaks down.
ダンジョン飯
Things I listened to last week
日本語の会話のpodcast
I’m in a foul mood due to some stuff. So I’m just listening to podcast for the sake of listening and can’t be bothered with notes and stuff. Got interupted, and I can’t be arsed to come back to this, so just the first mini-section.
plan to finish that podcast episode.
(07:00) Middle section is about after arriving at the 美容院. やまむ talks about where to put her bag and stuff. Cut off about this much.
I zoned out but this is the RP segment. きび is the 美容師 and やまむ is the customer and dear goodness that rewind-y sound was HORRID. Lost motivation but I’m still vaguely listening. And then the HORRID noise again. Nope the sound effects they are using this episode, I do NOT like. Yeah the whole last segment was Not Fun.
That’s a wrap on the club portion, I’m unlikely to continue it on my own.
ノラガミ
episode 9.
I don’t know how to explain my understanding, or lack thereof. I think I can tell what is happening. I think I have a general idea of why/how, though I didn’t coming into this episode, but I think it wasn’t explained completely before now. But also, there are aspects that I can tell I’m not understanding, and I know there will be bits where I don’t realise I don’t understand.
episode 10.
I don’t understand why ひより seems to have forgottent them, nor do I know if I’m meant to understand yet.
Anyway, I feel I should listen to something now, so I’m on episode 11 of ノラガミ.
Huh, she only forgot やと？ Not ゆきね？
(my notes for this are so comprehensive…)
Nihongo Picnic Podcast
Sakura Tips
Misc Learning
SRS
関西弁
I think I’m getting better at relaxing, and taking the pressure of the club reads off has helped. This update is probably going to be less about Japanese stuff and more about what fun stuff I’ve been doing.
Monday was a stress day because my sisters insist on being little balls of stress whenever possible (if you’re reading this I do still love you we don’t need to hash over everything again), Tuesday I played zelda and did a few rows of the knitting I keep forgetting about while watching LPs on youtube, and Wednesday I drew Maomao and had better sister interactions.
I found out about The Hundred Line Last Defence Academy 11 hours before it released. WANT. I can’t justify buying it right now because I kinda overspent the past couple weeks. But WANT. I played the demo, I don’t know if the different endings branch off that early but did anyone else find Sirei’s corpse? Or did I choose something that lead to that?
Anyway, I played with English text and Japanese voices as I normally do, and like there’s lots of little places where I’m like those voices and those words don’t match up. But I also don’t want to change the text to Japanese, I don’t feel confident enough for that yet. I read a lot of difficult things sure, but mostly for stuff I’ve read/watched before. And I don’t really want to turn it into work. But on the other hand, I want to know exactly what the original is.
I’ve got time to think that over, because I came up with a plan to handle the thoughts of WANT. I tried before habitica, and giving myself points for doing things and buying rewards. It didn’t work very well, but I don’t think I’d set it up properly. This is almost the same thing. I give myself a point for doing something that needs doing even though I don’t want to. So brushing my teeth, I’mma do that anyway so no points for that, but finally throwing the five empty bags of dog food in the bin does get me a point. The game is £50 so when I reach 50 points I can buy the game. I’m unsure if I’m taking points off for other nice stuff I buy for myself. I did take a couple points off for sweets. But also if I’m having a really bad day and don’t have anything easy to cook, not having enough points won’t stop me from ordering takeaway.
I’ve been hearing a bit about how they got a loan for the game and if it doesn’t sell well the company will go under and they’ll never make games again. Which was helpful for my impulse buying because it made me want to buy the game less. grumble grumble trying to make me feel responsible for your bad business decisions grumble grumble No thank you.
I also finally got my PS2 set up again! Lots of nostalgia playing Disney’s Skate Adventure, I played that game so much as a kid. Took me a fair bit of time trying to get used to the controls again. I wanted a fresh start with everything, it’s been too long so there’s no point loading up a save for anything, I won’t remember it. So I deleted them all. Felt a bit bad deleting my sisters’ saves for Piglet’s Big Game, but it’s fine they won’t remember that either, they were too young. Actually, thinking back to the years that were showing on the saves, the one sister wouldn’t have even been a year old why the heck did she have a save file?
I do have what looks like a third memory card but plugging it in the PS2 doesn’t recognise it. I kinda wonder if it’s a PS1 memory card? I remember as a kid I couldn’t save the PS1 games (and I once left the PS2 on overnight to try and make significant progress in FFV) but looking into setting this up, I heard they can save if you have a PS1 memory card? I think I’m going to see if that works with the Monsters Inc. game today.
One good thing about the PS2 is I don’t think the language can be changed, so there’s zero pressure that I should like turn the suikodens into Japanese or anything. I can just play them and be okay.
I’d actually made a list at the start of last week of four games to play. But it’s more a feeling of I should make progress in those games, because of feeling bad about how many games I’m partially through but have not finished. It’s not a lot of fun to be playing a game and getting mad at myself for not enjoying it. But this week there were several things I did actually enjoy, so I’m calling it a win.
And I’ve cheered myself up so that’s a win too.
5 Likes
Is the furigana しょうしん? Google says it’s something to do with the female officers of the Chinese imperial court which fits with the very small amount I know about the book, and gives this wikipedia page
(if this is wrong someone please correct me)
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That was it, thank you!
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