This has been a good week. I still have a couple things I need to work on tonight, but I feel my progress has been more consistent both with studying and outside of studying.
SRS
| SRS | anki | wk |  |
jpdb |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 月 | ||||
| 火 | ||||
| 水 | ||||
| 木 | ||||
| 金 | ||||
| 土 | ||||
| 日 |
Reading
Played a tiny amount of 軌跡. I’m not sure the 100 characters are worth counting. But I don’t remember the layout of this dungeon and I’m seemingly choosing all the wrong paths so I guess I’m leaving Alba to be eaten alive.
カードキャプターさくら notes:
That girl with the glasses isn’t anyone we know, is she? Though looking carefully it seems she’s one of Sakura’s cheerleading classmates. Her name seems to be 奈緒子 and I don’t recall that name so I will assume she is new.
Oh, I see. They were telling ghost stories, and 奈緒子ちゃん told the story on the first page saying that happened to her. So Sakura is trying to say it must be wrong but there actually is a problem in that park. We’re absolutely heading there, aren’t we.
Is it just me or does Sakura-chan look a tad lovestruck listening to Tomoya-chan’s singing?
Okay, she was not at all planning to look for the lake creature if she’s only just remembered it when thinking about going home. Meaning she did her flying spell just 'cause she can. Which, fair.
So, they are all seeing a different shape of creature. Which is really interesting, does this mean it has some kind of illusionary powers?
I think I read a bit further than I was supposed to but it’s fine, just means one page less for next week. It’s a little weird to think there isn’t much of this volume left.
ぼっち・ざ・ろっく notes:
Pages 6/7
Looking at the chapter cover reminds me, one of those instruments is a guitar and the other is a base, but I am not sure which is which. But it is okay, because I can use logic. The blue one has six strings and the yellowish one has four. Then if I look at the black guitar Bocchi is holding, that is six. So the blue one is the guitar and the yellowish one is the bass. (Yes I’m procrastinating looking at actual words.)
I, Gotou Hitori, am a useless human.
I’m stupid, I’m clumsy. (し usage? I feel like this is the “not only… but also” usage) I cannot look at people’s eyes, and when spoken to I always say “ah” without meaning to. (会話の頭に is this an expression? Seems 頭 can mean start. So the head of the conversation is the start of the conversation. Not entirely sure what 付ける meaning we’re using so translating on vibes) The 16th jisho definition of 付ける is “to be used to doing” which would fit if she’s like this is a bad habbit
One month has passed since I entered high school, and yet I have no friends. My source of emotional support consists of only this guitar.
I am on the brink of being a shut-in. Songwriting, me “compared to the closet, puting love into”. Her thoughts make no sense. I am going to have to ask about that one. A question on the first page… yay… Right, her thoughts are: About songwriting, I think/say/(you could say I) “put more love into it [songwriting] than the closet [???]” Like, you put more love into songwriting that you put clothes into your closet? I should check that though.
Okay, that one page took me half an hour to decipher and then figure out how to word question. So, to keep up with the club I am going to need to put a lot of time into this.
I am looking for a snowy cover for today’s free read. So, that looks like I’m starting with ゆきおんな. I read about halfway through.
約束のネバーランド notes:
131
南寄り with what I learn from ぼっち yesterday I think this would be “from the south.” I don’t know if it’s the same type of より as was used then, but double checking the word it was right. Hooray for immediate reinforcement of learning.
132/133
They’re saying they’re all ready to go, but I don’t recall them getting out anywhere near this easily. I wonder if ギルダ and ドン get extra time in the manga?
134/135
Emma is slowly starting to figure out how strategy exists. Hooray for her. I’m just worried that by pretending everything is fine they’re helping mama build her defences.
136/137
Oh they have not reaslied where the bug is. I know exactly where that bug is. This is fine.
Now some 軌跡. The good news is I found the professor. The bad news is I need to also drag Schera’s unconscious body out while not having any EP to deal with the Amber Turtles (should have checked what their Japanese name is). Today I read 0.6k characters. I think measuring in k for little daily amounts of reading makes it look like I’m not doing a lot…
Now to see how I deal with a normal ぼっち page.
ぼっち notes:
Page 8 - first strip
I need to stop working on my shitty original song and upload a cover of a popular band['s song].
There’s a comment! (the font is not fun! The green one is asking if ぼっち was a pro.)
The truth is it was difficult but that’s okay! On the internet, there are a lot of people who respond to me. The people of the internet world are only those with dark personalities like me.
The blue comment is saying like the band who made the song played it at their school’s culture festival, and something about all the students 上がりました but I’m not sure which definition to use when I can’t make out some of the denser kanji in that sentence. … It’s in the vocab sheet. The students got all hyped about the band.
8 - 2nd
I want to be in a band too, when in middle school I tried to collect members but…
I tried to appeal to people by putting CDs on my desk and bringing band goods and such. (she’s thinking like “please come talk to me”)
At lunch, I requested death metal that was popular in those days to be played, “This song was requested by Class 2A’s Gotou-san.” “I’M GONNA CAVE YOUR SKULL IN!!!” after that, …
目を合う = to make eye contact
目を合わせる = forced/allowed to make eye contact
目を合わせてくれる = forcing/allowing people to make eye contact is a gift from them to Gotou-san.
目を合わせてくれなく = forcing/allowing people to make eye contact is not a gift from them to Gotou-san.
After that, people wouldn’t even look at me. [implying ぼっち wants people to look at her, but the music did not successfully force them to do so?]
Arghhhhhhh Flashback! AAAAAAAAAAAA Forget it forget it forget it!!! [that ろ is a command. She is unsuccessfully trying to banish the memory. I can symphasise.]
I read two whole 4 panel strips, yay. It is very very definitely one of my hardest reads but if I can read one page a day, even if it isn’t keeping up with the club, that will be good progress. And if later on I can read more, that is better progress.
I started of with 軌跡 and escaped the tower. There’s still a little bit of treasure in there I could not retrieve due to not being at all able to cast arts. But! That’s another quest down, only two more to go… I read about 0.5k characters
約束のネバーランド notes:
138/139
This spread was full of difficult vocab, I added a few things to the vocab sheet.
140/141
There is not a lot to say when I know the answer to the mystery they are currently trying to solve.
142/143
Ooh, I forgot about this part.
144/145
No… I cannot end there… I have not finished the chapter…
ぼっち notes:
p9 - 1st
Next segment, ranking anything and everything. First place for popular club activites for high schoolers, is the Light Music Club!
As expected, to the people who are joining the Light Music Club, they admire it. (feel like I got some particles mixed up there… the admiration is towards the people joining the club.) The members have a fan club.
Recently there are a lot of anime bands, which attract otaku-like people. (してます？ するー＞しています) the otaku-ish people are in the anime bands. (switching from TV lady speaking to Gotou-san thinking) A-a-as I thought, let’s try once more to get courage?
Okay! Let’s bring my guitar tomorrow! Absolutely somebody should come talk to me! [relying on others (to start the conversation for her)]
p9 - 2nd
Next Day: So cool… All of a sudden I’m a band woman. It’s obvious I have the feeling of not being an ordinary person. (clunky) (arrow point to band goods, how does she even have band goods without a band?)
Since I stand out like this, I will be the centre of attention! (uhh long verb conjugation)
声をかける - to… speak (probably roughly right)
声かけられる - to be spoken to
声かえられず - without being spoken to
There’s no way I won’t be spoken to, right?
This year’s culture festival will be made busier (because Bocchi is gonna participate this year)
p10 - 1st
Bocchi (thinking): Plea~se ta~lk to me~
Other girls (thinking): Arms? (As in weapons?) Is she someone who goes to Akihabara often? (They assume she is in cosplay)
OG (thinking): Something about her is scary, so we’re not going to talk to her.
They left.
Sad Bocchi.
I got through 1.25 pages, yay progress! Wait, no the other two panels have no words. 1.5 pages, yay! If I can keep this up, I have a chance of keeping pace with the club!
Started with 軌跡. Small half problem in that talking to people takes longer than the half hour per piece of reading I set myself… Which means I’ll make more progress, yay, but I might need to push something else back.
The sheer number of times I have looked up 構う is getting a little frustrating, I look it up, I see the answer, OH! that one again I should have known that.
Right, I need to go do something, but in case I don’t get back to this I’ve read 1k characters and Estelle just criticised Nial for wasting her expectations.
I had another think later, and I already spent longer on this that I had planned for today. I think it’s going to be better to stop mid scene and come back later than to try and push through and then not get my other reading done.
ぼっち notes:
10 - 2nd
Sad Bocchi in park.
Huh?
誰からも話しかけられなかった
The から+も partcles confused me, but ichi.moe suggests this is 誰か+ら+も, ら like in 僕ら. Then the verb is 話しかける - to start a conversation. 話しかけられる - to have a conversation started at you. 話しかけられなかった - did not have a conversation started at you. It’s basically Bocchi thinking about none of the many somebodies came up to Bocchi to talk to her.
わかんない - don’t understand
わかんなかった - didn’t understand
わかんなかったの - thing of did not understand
わかんなかったのかな？ - I wonder if it’s the thing of did not understand?
Bocchi wonders if they (the 誰から) did not understand they were supposed to talk to her.
But the guitar is an easy to understand thing, isn’t it?
あえて - seems to have contradictory meanings based on context. (ended up going with deliberately)
The possibility called “they deliberately did not talk to me”… no no no, that will break my spirit. (aka de~ni~al)
11 - 1st
Ugh, I already don’t want to go to school.
The people who gather here, like me, are burdened with loneliness (explanatory). That person over there is surely (living apart in the same house?) disconnected from his family, so returning home seems to be painful for him.
“Honey~ I’m sorry, I was (accidentally) late.” “Papa~!” “Alrighty then, shall we go to eat dinner?”
Sad Bocchi misjudged the stranger, projecting her own lonliness onto him, and seeing this stranger with his own loving family makes her feel even more alone.
11 - 2nd
The only place I belong is on the internet. “AH!”
GUITAR!!!
That’s a guitar, right? Can you play it?
Oi? [Bocchi attempts words, words refuse to leave mouth, thinks instead] It’s been too long since I last spoke, and now my voice…
There are. So many. More words. It’s fine. I read today’s portion of those words. And there are still three days left in the week.
約束のネバーランド notes:
Ah. That lady. I forgot she was this early. I read the last pages of this chapter rather lightly, but I feel like I understood enough even without looking words up.
Started with some kiseki, finished speaking to ナイアル, read about 0.6k.
フリーレン notes:
57
Title page is pretty. I wonder what that flower is.
58/59
住むまい. I know I’ve come across this まい before, but I don’t remember it, but I remember enough I can look it up, hooray. He’s saying Frieren won’t be fine, but he also thought he wasn’t going to die so I’m not inclined to believe him.
I’m proud of Fern for defeating this guy. And I believe she’s right in how he’s underestimating Frieren. People are capable of changing tactics.
60/61
Okay, he’s finally realised they have more magical power than he thought. When I saw the chapter title, I assumed it was referring to Stark. So it’s surprising that he is so… disgusted, at Fern and Frieren hiding how much magical power they have. I knew Fern was especially good at it, but I didn’t realise it wasn’t something commonplace for the people who can do it. Why is it considered cowardly to not let your enemies have an accurate portrayal of how powerful you are? Is that a typical viewpoint? Does he only have that viewpoint because he is a demon? But demons learnt to speak to trick humans, why are they surprised at being tricked in return? Questions…
62/63
Ooh, backstory.
I got absorbed in reading and didn’t make any more notes. Flamme was teaching her about why she should hide how much magical power she has, I think. I got to page 69. Also, I noticed on one of the pages Flamme has human ears. For some reason I thought she was also an elf.
ぼっち notes:
Looking at the 12/13 spread, that is a LOT of text and it’s kind of intimidating. But, I am tackling this one panel at a time so it will be fine.
12 - 1st
“Ah, sorry for hassling you without warning. I am Ijichi Nijika, a second year student at ~~ high school.” “Ah. I’m Gotou Hitori.”
“I play the drums in a band.” (thinking Bocchi)- BAND!
“How long have you been playing the guitar?” (Technically, how long have you been able to play the guitar but that sounds clunky) (thinking Bocchi is in panic mode)- she’s using my name… (ひとりちゃん instead of 後藤さん). “Ah, it’s allright” (maybe this どのくらい was asking how good she is at playing the guitar rather than how long.)
“I’m in a bit of trouble now, if it’s unreasonable that’s okay but… It’s okay but I’m at a loss.” [You are definitely not an okay person!] (I think this is meant to sound a bit wishy washy, but I’m not sure on the second て in 困ってて)
12 - 2nd
Please! Just for today, can’t you support as a guitarist for me/us? Our guitarist abruptly quit…
If you are a person who can play guitar to some extent, you can immediately learn the song! [Eh? Today? Performing at a club?] Um, Ummmm…
I beg of you~ [N-no way. Even though I have always wanted to be in a band, why am I suddenly terrified?] (I’m always getting mixed up with しなかった and したかった I had to rewrite that so many times until it made sense.)
THANK YOU!! Let’s GO immediately to the club. [I haven’t said anything yet!! (panik)]
13 - 1st
押し切る = to force one’s way
押し切られる = to be forced another’s way (???)
押し切られてしまった = I accidentally got forced into this…
(Lot’s of ドキドキ for Panik. ) R-really, me playing live today?
I must not become weak. Remember. It’s been a daily fantasy of mine to perform live at the culture festival.
The first one man (band?)… ZIPPER… Super arena… (don’t fully get this but probably not too important)
I am a woman who can even fill up a martial arts stadium… (虹夏ショック)
Another page and a half hooray. And I though I was going to struggle working through just the one page with all the text. This is going quite well if I do say so myself. If I can keep 1.5 per day pace, I can keep up.
フリーレン notes:
70/71
It’s weird to hear Frieren say here that she likes magic, when in the present day she’s like “nope, just a hobby.”
72/73
Why is it mockery to hide magic?
Okay, I think what’s happening is if Frieren has to hide her magical abilities 24/7 (when she doesn’t need them), when she has to use less magic because using the full amount would be bad, keeping that level of awareness and control could make her resent the effort magic takes her.
I still don’t understand why this is mockery and not just common sense.
74/75
I, uh, did not have a lot of pages left when I stopped yesterday huh 
Aura is about to get completely curbstomped.
Cover for the next chapter is pretty. Those scales will not work how Aura is expecting them to…
.
I started vol. 2 of レンタルおにいちゃん and read chapter 6. I really like this story. The scene where Kanami dropped a plate really resonated with me. It reminded me of the time my coworker didn’t yell at me when I first attempted to clean the dishwasher.
ぼっち notes:
13 - 2nd
[Isn’t she kind of a dangerous kid?] “The club we’ll be performing in is my house, so don’t nervous!” “ah, okay”
“My older sister is the manager.” “ah, okay”
“The place is called Starry, it recently opened in ~~, however” “I usually work there part time serving drinks”
“Hitori-chan, can you really (exercise? move? what?)” [she hasn’t looked me in the eyes at all] “No, ah, but, somehow I’m always the last person standing” (so she was talking about exercise, odd.)
14 - 1st
ahhhh, ~~, there are only stylish people here…
Nijika-chan is also dressed flashy and stylishly. She feels like she’s in a band.
In comparision, I’m wearing a jersey and have bags under my eyes and am hunched over (and so on). I probably smell like mould from the closet.
This originally should have smelt sweet like a high school girl. (creepy much Bocchi?) [Did I make a mistake in asking her?]
14 - 2nd
“That reminds me, Hitori-chan are you not in a band?” “Huh”
“Ah, I am thinking I’ve always wanted to be in a band, but haven’t really gathered members”
“Normally I upload covers to the internet.” “Ooh, what do you play?”
“long and complicated sentence” “Your persistence is terrific, huh.”
Xは全部引けます - I can play all of X.
X＝Yのようにここ数年の売れ線バンドの曲
in order to Y, several years of popular bands’ songs up to now.
Y=結成した時すぐ対応出来る
When the formation happened, to be able to respond immediately
“When I started (my channel), in order to be able to respond immediately, I can play all the songs of bands that were popular in the past several years” (Not completely there gramatically, but she’s saying she learnt a bunch of the most popular songs so that more people would see it)
ぼっち notes:
Had a little peak at how much is left in the chapter. 2 more pages! If I can read 1.5 pages like I have been, I’ll make the push to finish the second page.
15 - 1st
Speaking of covers, there’s this one person I’m really interested in. (not entirely sure how the 一人 is affecting things, just the emphasis it is one person?) W-who is it?
Do you know the person named Guitar Hero who’s been posting videos for the past few years? One part of conversation is that they are unreasonably good! (one part of conversation makes no sense… maybe means like “this is just one compliment said about them.”) [Guitar Hero…?]
ME! (Bocchi has realisation! and fear!)
Their sense of names is a tad painful, but I’d like to try performing with them. [Huh? I-it’s painful!?]
15 - 2nd
You’ve turned as red as a boiled octopus!
I’m always waiting for Guitar Hero-san to post a new video (あげる is gift from 虹夏 to someone else so that’s not right) I’ve always been waiting to upload a video for Guitar Hero. (? should check this)
I thought people in the real world would have no interest in someone (derogatory) like me, but here’s someone who’s been watching me the whole time and they are so close.
T-thank you… (no explanations) Eh? What? What!? [Her emotions are so unstable, but…]
16 - 1st
We’ve arrived! We’re here~.
You finally came back. | Ryou~~~
This kid is our bassist, Yamada Ryou. | Hello. [Is she glaring at me?]
Ryou doesn’t easily make different facial expressions. If you call her an eccentric, she’ll be happy. This is a general bassist thing (not at all sure on the aside comment) I’m not happy though, [she looks happy]
16 - 2nd
We still have time, so let’s go in the studio and practice. And stop sneaking off whenever you like because now the manager is angry. | Eek
Why didn’t you say that earlier, idiot idiot simpleton. | … | Your vocabulary is too little.
Hitori-chan also come look! | Ah, okay. | Reality is scary.
But, I have a hunch that from now on will be all the very fun things I’ve been waiting for.
Ah, I did it, I read both the pages! I was able to keep up with the first week!
Listening
First off I’m making an attempt to finish the 4989 podcast, which the last ten minutes are meant to be so much easier compared to the first twenty. I’m going to keep up the logging of what I can understand.
4989 notes:
2nd segment
(20:44) English story corner!
(20:49) I caught a 話せる and her saying there was a really big wall in her understanding.
(21:00) Ah, this section is her telling us all the phrases she learnt in English classes back in her Japanese school. (She said “I’m fine, thank you” and my autistic brain is like no that’s not the script! It’s “I’m fine, how are you?” you’re supposed to return the question. Though personally I’ll go with “I’m alright” or if I don’t feel like lying “I’m alive” is a good choice with the bonus of people thinking you’re funny.)
(21:23) Okay, the “and you?” is acceptable, rant over. She said something about using these phrases in America, and learning them over and over again in the classroom.
(21:52) Ah, and now she is saying that nobody actually says the “I’m fine” portion of the script XD and correcting that to “I’m good” which is what most people say. I like that she says it repeatedly to teach her Japanese viewers the pronounciation.
(23:02) This bit she was giving the example of すみません and asking what people learnt the English was for that
(23:23) Yeah, I saw the “I beg your pardon” in the thread before I listened to the episode. I didn’t really understand her explanation of what that actually means in Japanese, but she gave better alternatives again.
(24:18) Talking about how she was surprised about how the English she was taught was different from what is actually used.
3rd segment
(25:03) america advaru? What is that supposed to be?
(25:08) Explanation of what this segment is, not that I really understood what the explanation said
(25:21) She asked who is most famous for something, and then the drumroll, this is a little quiz segment?
(25:37) Ah, the bit about the sweets being really sweet. She also said they were tasty and expensive. I think saying more expensive in an American supermarket than a Japanese コンビニ.
(27:21) There’s something she doesn’t eat, and the amount of sweetness in the sweets is scary
(28:15) Some people at her adult English classes would bring cake or cookies when the class had a party.
(28:39) I think she’s saying she doesn’t generally eat sweets, so when she had American sweets for the first time, they were extra too sweet.
(29:12) I keep losing focus and missing bits that way. And it seems everytime I pause I’m forgetting most of what I literally just heard. I heard 日々 again, but have already forgotton the other words in the sentence. Is the アメリカあるある meant to be like, something that only exists in America? Is that the point of doubling it up?
ending
(30:06) This is the end of the first episode, and if you’ve listened this far, thank you. Everything past that was just not processed.
(30:53) Telling people about her website, giving the URL in different pronounciations, and letting us know her contact information is on there.
(31:27) See you next episode, bye!
In the future I need to not listen to the podcast first thing of the morning because my brain is not fully awake and I’m hearing things that I’m like “yep those are words and sentences” “great, now summarise that in English” “uh, what? uh, she said, like, words or something.”
Looking at the thread, how did I mishead あるある as “advaru”? Welp, I did it. Hooray.
Watching episode 7 of のんのんびより. The vibes of this show kinda reminds me of Higurashi, with most the Onikakushi chapter being similar rural slice of life until things get dark. So when Renge mentions her sister not waking up and not moving at all, my brain is primed for things to be about to get dark. That doesn’t happen, it’s not going to, but I am ready for it.
Watching のんのんびより ep 8. I don’t particularly have much to say about it.
Grammar
Grammar studied (yes, really)
られる (potential) - I feel like I’ve been looked at the differences between this and passive a lot recently.
らしい - had a vague understanding already
Also, since し was coming up a lot in Bocchi, I read through the tofugu article on it.
Writing
Wrote my diary entry about my worries because my sister is not well but refused to see a doctor and I cannot make her. I feel fucked up thinking about that and trying to redirect that energy to “how do I conjugate 行く for this scenario… 行かせたい…” but I know spending the energy worrying will not help things.
Aah, I shared my rambling to myself, aah.
Feels weird having this category when I don’t really talk to myself about what I write, I’ve just been rambling in Japanese for a bit instead of in English. Like, it’s happening, I don’t really know how to describe what’s happening, but words are existing. Whether they make sense to anyone who is not me, I do not know.
Daily Rambling
月曜日：
Today is my first attempt at sticking to my new time blocking schedule. I woke up earlier enough to have breakfast before my first study block, so that’s off to a good start. And I can ignore the concerning text I got from my bank for a few hours because I have specifically scheduled in time to sort out my life every afternoon, so I don’t need to panic and drop everything to fix that.
Did a small amount of ringotan on the bus. It was not a full review session but I’m still counting it.
I have so far successfully kept to my time-blocking for my non-Japanese related stuff. Though I did use a bit of my “sort life out” block to do some anki, but what is memory but sorting life into order? (I’m trying to sound wise and shit but really I just didn’t want to clean anything else.) Anyway, my next study block is about to start and I would like to read.
Next I am going to work on some ぼっち. I’ll see how far I get in the next half hour or so and then I’ll have a better idea of how much of a weekly committment this is.
Little rambling about reading and time. I am attempting to read in like half hours at a time. So like I was intending half hour of 軌跡 everyday and that could slowly catch me up, and then I can read the ABBC book in one half hour and the BBC book and offshoot in two half hours each, and then the 6th and 7th day of the week that half hour I was using for ABBC&BBC is now free for whatever I want to read (or more realistically, I don’t read as much some days and then am still catching up over the weekend). Now ぼっち is even if I read a half hour of it every day I won’t be keeping up with the club. It might be a more realistic pace considering just how much reading I want to be doing, since I do still want to read things outside of book clubs. And I’ve given myself like 2 two hours study blocks in my time blocking thing. So, what I could do is I could spent one of those two hour blocks solely on reading, and then the other is for my grammar and listening and SRS and non-Japanese studies. Actually when I put it like that it sounds almost doable, so long as I can keep to my time blocking method. Doing listening first this morning was a mistake because that takes effort to listen to. And the podcast takes a lot more time that is shown in the episode, so I ended up reading barely ten minutes of 軌跡 before I had to go to my appointment, but on days where I don’t have appointments in the way, I would have had another hour of potential studying today which I could have used to play more 軌跡 and read something that isn’t in a club…
Anyway, I should write something in my Japanese diary and then call it a day because my rambling is enroaching on my anime time.
Got bored and did some wk while watching one of the episodes. Taking that as a sign I don’t actually want to watch that anime. I do like the ending song though.
It’s raining right now, which is a very distracting sound. So I’m thinking I try that grammar video while sleeping thing again. Will report in the morning whether or not I paid any attention. Actually looking at the playlist, I did that again one of the nights because I’ve apparently watched like 10 videos I don’t remember watching. Well, I know I listened to #31 so I’ll start with #32 and then when I wake up I can make note of the number I remember for the next night.
火曜日：
Sleepy grammar experiment: I have heard #32 before last night, but #33 was new. When I was waking up I vaguely recall bits of #44 and I was awake enough that I remember all of #45. But apparently I fell back asleep because there are three more I don’t remember after that.
More importantly: SNOW!
I am tired. I am trying to complete my “sort life out” block but I took too long for lunch to the point that’s a whole pomodoro’s worth I’ve missed, and I did an actual half hour of job searching but now I want a nap but I need to clean things and if I take my vacuum upstairs I am just going to bed.
Doing a bit of mental reframing. I have scheduled two hours to sort shit life out. The things I want to keep on top of daily take one hour. The other bits and bobs won’t take another hour. So that extra time is leeway for my brain hating me. As long as I complete the dailies, we’re all good. (And while I didn’t vacuum my bedroom, I did change the bedding and got my lamp working so, y’know, progress.)
水曜日：
Sleepy grammar summary: I remember #34 and #35, though I think I fell asleep before the latter finished. I was surprised to hear ので is politer than ますから・ですから, I kinda just assumed ので was some casual version I only vaguely understood. I was waking up to the てみる section of #48 and I was just gonna let it play, but felt personally offended that adverts exist so got up instead.
I’m busy this evening so just the one study block today. Though, it is going to be mostly reading because that is what I want to do. I realised I didn’t start the 2nd レンタルおにいちゃん volume I got, so I’m marking it as reading on Natively just so that when I’m looking at my list I remember it exists. While I won’t have time for a free read if I’ve got to work book club progress, it’s there for when I next do have space available in my schedule.
Goal: one more page of Bocchi. I am aiming on reading a page a day, which isn’t enough to keep up with the club but sounds more doable to me and if I can read more, that’s great.
Me: I’ve got the hang of this productive motivation thing! Accidentally ate lunch late, but I’ve got an hour and a half to do some cleaning and other life sorting activites One hour later Right, time to stop this doomscrolling nap and get those jobs searched for Another hour later Getting up any minute now…
An attempt at mental reframing: I’m annoyed at myself because of the things I did not do today. I put 12 things on my to do list. I have done 8 of them. If I think of it in terms of grades, that’s a 2:1, which (despite what my dad thinks) is not bad. So even though I spent the time I was supposed to do those 4 things scrolling through youtube shorts in bed instead of doing them, I still did enough for today to be a success.
Which means tonight, I don’t need to ruminate over how the day was a failure because I didn’t complete all my tasks. Not only that, but I can stick a sticker onto my door. Because it’s shiny, and I want to, and everyone keeps telling me I’m too hard on myself and I should be kinder to myself and I’m not really sure how but today I want a sticker.
木曜日：
Another morning, another examining my schedule and whittling down the infinite list of things I want to do to a list of things I would like to do today. Also today’s the 21st, which means we’re one month away from the readathon.
Kinda feels like cheating to tick off “yeah I did anki” when I only did like 5 minutes because I got fed up what I was meant to be doing.
金曜日：
Struggling to get started this morning. Need to keep up with reading clubs, and I’ve done barely anything for keeping up with listening. And I feel like, even if this new time blocking thing I’ve set up for myself is good in theory, I’m not sure how sustainable it is.
My brain kinda hurts. And I’m currently not managing a keep-pace-with-everything pace. And I’m tired, even though I’ve been sleeping enough, and I’m hungry, even though I’ve been making sure to eat three times a day.
Probably not going to get through the rest of week 13 tomorrow, and thinking about it if I’m reading approximately 0.5k a day that is not enough to be catching up. I’d need to double it to have a chance at catching up, and doubling yesterday meant I never got around to watching のんのんびより. But, I am making consistent progress, and that counts for something.
Whoever thought going outside is good for your mental health was delusional. It’s too cold, I can’t fucking see thanks to the sun attacking my glasses, my dog kept trying to pull us into the road, and now I am just very cranky.
土曜日：
Overslept (again) but I finally got around to setting up anki on my phone so it’s more easily accessable when I’m not at my computer. I hope this allows me to get through those more consistently. It’s easier to just open a thing on my phone a do a few reviews than to open the computer app and do them all.
日曜日：
Today I have woken up with plenty of time to become awake before studying. I’ve still got to watch the podcast, and then I need to decide if I’m going to stick to the half hours for reading or push myself to read through the rest of the assigned week. Considering Bocchi is difficult, probably better if I don’t push, but I think I should for Kiseki.
In Summary
SRS almost daily (nothing is cleared)
118 pages of reading
2.8k characters kiseki
10m podcast
2 episodes anime
2 n4 grammar points (6/26)
daily diary entries
Reading is going well. I’ve managed to start being consistent with reading 軌跡, in that I played a little bit (almost) every day, but I have not been reading enough to even keep pace with the club. On the other hand, ぼっち started and I’ve been putting effort into that and managed to read a week’s worth of pages within a week (if slightly offset from how the club weeks are scheduled because keeping everything starting on Monday just makes things easier for me.)
I’m getting SRS to a point where it’s easier to just do some here and there. Listening needs some more effort to set aside the time (I don’t think I’ll be able to watch all of the podcast in one go tonight), and the same with grammar. I think I need to make sure I do at least one of them each day.
The timeblocking method is going mostly well, unless it’s been interrupted and then I struggle to get my day back on track. Like if I oversleep and don’t start on time, trying to rearrange that doesn’t really work and it just gets skipped.
This turned into a bit of a rant
Or if I remove the study block for one evening because I had scheduled in talking to my sisters instead, but then they cancel, I struggle with what I should do in my sisters block, and then the next day I get a text from one saying we can talk then instead, so then that study block has been interrupted because I don’t know when that’s going to happen, and I call too early and she says we’ll talk at 19:00, so I decide to read Bocchi and finish up 約束のネバーランド because I didn’t have time in the morning due to an appointment (which is fine, that was all scheduled in) and I’m thinking “I was planning to watch のんのんびより this morning, but spent longer on 軌跡, which was fine when I knew I had plenty of time to watch it tonight but I guess I’ll have to leave it for tomorrow” and then 19:00 comes and goes and I’m waiting around because she’s phoning me any minute now and I can’t start anything because it will be interrupted and I can’t phone her because she’s busy being a parent and I need to not interrupt, and then by the time she actually phones me, it turns out I had enough time that I could have watched のんのんびより but I couldn’t because I didn’t know my sister was going to take over 20 minutes past the time she said she’d be available.
I am very frustrated because I keep having this happen where there is a time for talking to someone, so it needs to start at that time, but the other person is not ready at the time we specified. And then I’m just waiting and I don’t know what to do with myself and if I try to bring up “oi you’re late again” it’s always that I’m overreacting (and I know I am but things need to be at the time they are supposed to be). Because of course my sister making sure her kid is fed is more important that being on time to chat with me, and me waiting a bit isn’t the end of the world or anything, but it’s all the time. Even my support worker, I was meant to talk to her at 11:00 and I get a phone call saying she had to defrost her car so she hadn’t left yet but she’ll be here in 10/15 minutes. Which, what am I supposed to say? How dare you have to defrost your car? That’s ridiculous. but I swear she’s been at least 10 minutes late every time I’ve met with her for months. And she was more than the 10/15 minutes she claimed she’d be that day.
I need to figure out how to handle these waiting times better because they just frustrate me and if I bring them up then the conversation is just about how if I’m frustrated then maybe we shouldn’t bother talking to each other after all or oh I should be better about that I’ll try not to be late again but is late again anyway (sister and support worker respectively). So. They’re not changing how they do things. So I need to figure out how to be less frustrated. And now I’m frustrated that I’m the one who has to somehow figure out how to change how I feel about things even though I’m not the one who can’t be arsed to be available at the time I said I would be.
So. Aside from that. Time blocking. So far so good.
She’s happy about her first nickname. [Somehow, she burst into tears (of JOY)]
(x2) A school story~!” (The “box” is like a giant d6 with words, I also see a “quota story” and a “favourite music story”. Probably less “story” and more “talk about this”. Looking at the previous panel closer, that is bungie jumping. No thank you. Let’s not do that one.)
.
” kind of trivality throughout the fight. But because Frieren both took the fight seriously and has trained enough that her hidden magic is stable, she assumed a kind of honesty.
for real though being able to understand the talking trip up makes me happy.
] “Ah! That new boy meets girl CD! 
” “I bought it before coming to school~ 
”