Well, for something that is supposedly professionally written, it is pretty bad, yeah. The author is reusing the same words over and over again, plus has some annoying writing habits. The worst is when someone says something to the main character (let’s say “A”), then the main character has an inner dialog saying that “oh, it seems that A”. And I feel like, well, yeah, I know. I heard (well, read) that as well.
乙女ゲーム[…] is even worse, in the sense that main character is straightforward and pure, and thus says whatever she thinks. That usually goes:
Inner dialog: Hm, I think that A.
Out loud: A!
Inner dialog: Oopsy, I just said A out loud.
AND THEN at the end of the chapter, we always have another take on the same events from the point of view of another character. I really like that in general, since different characters (including the main one) have very different views on what is happening, but that leads to:
Other character’s inner dialog: “Oh god, don’t tell me she is thinking A”
Main character out loud: “A!” (yep, straight up copy/pasted from the previous occurence in the chapter)
Other character’s inner dialog: “aaaand she does think A”.
So you end up with basically the same line SIX (6) FREAKING TIMES. That honestly feels like padding at this point. And that’s fine for a webnovel written for fun and distributed for free (which it used to be), but as a professional work, it leaves much to be desired.
And then, in the same category (and coming from the exact same website), you have Re:Zero’s author begin like
