MissDagger's (Final?/Ultimate) Study Log

Håller tummarna.
Jo, man känner som om energin flödar bara för att man är lite bättre än tidigare och huvudet tycker att man har haft för tråkigt och bara måste sätta igång med hundra nya saker… som i och för sig kickar igång alla belöningssytem ett tag och sen blir man trött och stressad för att man har hundra olika saker som inte blir klara och man kan ju trösta sig genom att starta nya saker… och så vidare. Och trötthet går ju över, eller? Man vänjer sig vid den och blir efter ett tag trött igen… men det går ju också över, eller?
Det är hur som helst skittråkigt varje gång. Varför lär man sig inte? Men vi är många som har provat på den resan och det är på sätt och vis skönt, för det innebär att det inte är något fel på en själv. Kanske lite bokstäver bara, eller något annan variation jämfört med den stora massan.
Och det är normalt att ha lite för bråttom när man är på väg tillbaka från en skada oavsett slag, och i synnterhet om det är saker man tycker är kul. Trots att det inte är bra för en själv. Ett misstag som alla gör.

Som min dotter sa:
-Pappa, du har drag av ADD.
-Nä, jag är helt vanlig.
-Du umgås bara med människor som inte kan betraktas som vanliga. Man söker sig till likasinnade.
-Men, Jag går på Närcon.
-Närcon är rena bokstavsmaffian.
(Hon går också på Närcon, och är en fantast, och duktig, på DDR)

Det är som det är och man lär sig nya saker varje gång. Just nu hadlar det för mig om att dela ner saker i mindre bitar som går att bocka av efter hand, och att återfå förmågan att inte förstora upp bagateller till jättestora och jobbiga saker. Och säkert en del annat också som jag ännu inte kommit underfund med.

Ja, och så är det det där minnet av en svunnen tid när man kunde och orkade göra allt man kom på. Jag har fått inse att så är det inte längre, eller så var det bara en illusion.

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För mig tror jag också det handlar om att Augusti kändes som en så långsam och låg produktivitets månad. Så när min energi och humör nu börjat klara up sig så vill jag starta allt som stått stilla. Men samtidigt vet jag att det bästa jag kan göra är att fokusera på några få grejer och ge dem den tid de behöver för att starta upp, sedan kan jag lägga energi på att lägga till fler grejer, när de inte är i uppstart fasen längre.

Jag tror ibland att det är lättare att se i andra än i sig själv. Ibland undrar jag om jag borde ha någon bostavskombination, och om jag skulle få den, skulle det hjälpa mig? Skulle jag kunna få hjälp att bli en ännu mer “fungerande” vuxen människa? Och när jag tänker för mycket på det så får jag ont i magen. För det får mig att tänka på all tid som jag kämpat (ibland förgäves) med att leva mitt liv som jag vill och tanken att jag kanske inte behövt det är… förskräckande. All den tiden till spillo (så det känns).

Inte för att jag är säker på att jag skulle få en bokstavskombination. Så… Jag ignorerar det för tillfället. Misstänker att jag är normal och normalt jobbigt med saker. :woman_shrugging:

För mig är det definitivt alltid en illusion. Om jag börjar komma ihåg i detalj visar det sig alltid att jag inte hade så mycket ork som jag skönmålar det som. Men det kan ju vara så att det bara är jag. :joy:

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Nej, det är inte bara du. Jag har nog inte tagit mig förbi skönmålningen egentligen…
Och vi är nog många som kanske ska eller inte ska se oss själva lite i backspegeln ibland.

Men man hittar vissa beteenden som man har haft med sig hela livet utan att tänka på det. Och fördelen med att hitta ett fack där de passar in är att man får något att föhålla sig till. Jag har inte någon diagnos vad jag vet och inte gett mig själv några bokstäver heller, men har ganska mycket drag av högkänslighet. Vilket jag misstänkte efter att ha tittat på videon som Trunklayer postade i tavernatråden. Det stämmer för bra för att ignoneras och ger mig något att ta avstamp i. Jag tror att jag vet varför jag gör och reagerar på vissa sätt. (Min fru sa, det vet jag väl när jag la fram teorin.)

Jag var på en föreläsning om funktionsvariationer, och många har sådana och klarar aldeles utmärkt att utarbeta strategier för att hantera dem själv redan som barn. Men i vissa fall när livet blir stressat med barn, skjutsning, krav och stress på jobbet, huslån mm. Så håller det inte och man hamnar i en knepig situation.
Sen är det upp till var och en själv om man väljer att ta reda på om man har en variation eller inte. (Jag tycker mig inte behöva det)

Du verkar ha koll på dina begränsningar och inte hasta för mycket. (Sen gär det inte alltid bra jämnt i alla fall. Det går upp och ner många i tavernatråden har erfarenheter av det.) Men du har en plan och så hoppas vi att det håller.
Och min backlogg räcker sedan första kraschen 2017 eller tidigare än dess. Men jag har fått lära mig att inte stressas av det. Beta av lite i taget allt efter som när det går. Och allt det där.

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September 5

WK - Now level 44!

I keep chugging and chugging. More burn reviews are starting to show up now, but they won’t fully start to come for another 2 months when it is 6 months from May, since I believe it was early May that I earnestly started doing lessons again.

The other night I sat for a while playing around with predictions on wkstats and what I noticed was that if I could reduce my level up time to 7 days, I would be very likely to hit level 60 before the year ended. This calculation did not include a one week trip I’ll do in December, but since all but two levels are fast levels now, I could conceivably do some super quick levels if I wanted. (My typical lesson strategy wouldn’t work for the normal speed levels either since I can only do those over 8 days comfortably.)

And all I’d have to do to hit this target would be to go from 16 lessons to 20, and have all those four be kanji. 9 kanji lessons per day will be a bit of a challenge for sure, but I can do it, and it is for a worthy cause.

So my plan is to go for it for now. I can always slow down again if the work load proves too much.

Reading :slightly_frowning_face:

Still not reading much, and since my levels are a few days quicker (this one was 9 days), skipping a few days really shows per level. I think I will keep it casual until the next reading challenge and then work to get it daily again.

Although I do very much want to catch up with book clubs, plus the fourth book club I wanted to join starts this weekend. :sweat: I’m currently only caught up with 1/3 clubs, and technically haven’t read this week’s portion yet.

Eeeeeeh… :see_no_evil:


What a note to end this update on, but I don’t know that I have anything else to add. :sweat_smile:

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You have lifetime on WaniKani, so stop the lessons and read the books =D

(I’m only kidding!)

I am curious how the last 10 levels of WaniKani will go for you. I think I’ve heard those include a lot of kanji without vocabulary (name-only kanji?), so I wonder if they’ll be more difficult to get through. Well, level 52 might not be so bad as you may recognize 須 already by then.

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:joy:

Honestly, the more I read the more WK items stick in my mind, also I sometimes get to pre-learn some stuff! I don’t think how would have learned 内緒 on WK because honestly the meaning isn’t that connected to the kanji, but since I learned it on faith through Orange first, I didn’t even blink when it came up on WK. (I can see how you can tell a story from them to get to the meaning of secret, but it isn’t the most obvious meaning, is it?)

So it isn’t such a bad idea to make sure I have time for reading. Right now though, I have time, I’m just choosing to spend it elsewhere.

I think there are less kanji without vocabulary now (since their additions last year or whenever it was). For me, it just means that I probably won’t learn the kanji without vocab, because kanji by themselves doesn’t stick until I’ve seen them in some vocabulary. But then I use WK more as a discovery/initial learning tool now. I don’t care to learn things perfectly and if it isn’t sticking from seeing it several times on WK, more reviews doesn’t do it for me. (I’ve never favored the banging my head against the wall approach. I try different routes instead.)

Reading is what makes it truly stick for me and shows me whether I have learnt something or not (because words in isolation are very easy to confuse, misremember, and blank on; while in context, they might always be clear).

This reminded me that when I started WK, I was disbelieving when I heard more experienced learners saying they remembered the kanji through their vocabulary. So remembering a kanji went vocab → kanji. While as an absolute beginner it was definitely kanji → vocab.

But that has shifted for me. Now I remember things through what vocab it is in. Like I’ll see a similar kanji and I’ll go (example from lessons today): “Oh that is similar to the にん of 確認” (Got this gem 忍 in my kanji lessons today. 忍者 here we come!)

And while kanji lessons take me more time to learn when I go through them as lessons, their reviews aren’t necessarily harder than vocab. Although they do get easier once they get guru-ed and I get some vocab with the kanji in.

I assume this comes up in 耳をすませば? I guess I’ll look forward to seeing it. ^^

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Once you see whose kanji it is, you might not be able to forget it ;)

image

Knowing this kanji will be necessary to recognize Suwa’s name!

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How could I forget? Except I usually skip over the kanji in names because they’ve been unhelpful for so long (complex kanji I didn’t know at all). :joy: I guess I’m getting to the point where I have to stop that habit. :sweat_smile:

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I went to a concert today. Victor Leksell if you happen to listen to current Swedish pop music.

The last time I remember being in the mind of din that a lot of people make… It was in Japan, early 2020. If I had to pick a moment, probably when the school had its once a semester/quarter school outing. Bowling plus karaoke. February 2020, what a precarious time to do such a thing, I didn’t do any singing despite liking it because it would have been in front of the whole school and everyone did Japanese songs, and I don’t know any of those.

I hadn’t realized I’d missed the din. I don’t get it even when I go shopping when there is a lot of people around, there is a bubble I enter into where I’m focusing on what I’m doing and trying to get it done. This was a me, I hadn’t seen since I traveled out of the country last. Having a meal alone at a restaurant, reading a book as I did (no not in Japanese ^^ ). Going to the concert hall, finding my spot and while having that din of many people in my ear I once again pulled out my book and read until the concert started.

I really have missed it. On a day to day basis, I want my quiet, my solitude and just the closest of relations. But every so often, I want to feel the energy of so many people alive and living their lives.

The probably the most surreal thing I felt was seeing all the ones at the front of the standing area, getting crazy excited and swoony over getting to touch the artist. Like his arm was made of gold. More precious than just any man’s arm. And all I could think about was that not a one of them saw the man. Only an idol, a singer. Someone famous. And yet, behind that is a person with the same worries and thoughts as us, struggling with the same feelings and wondering how to make life work.

Just imagine the absolutely crazy life puzzle that has to be done while on a tour? How long he must be away from his own bed. How many people he mets everyday that forgets there is a person standing right there, not just a person shaped someone who sings songs. How intense the closeness must be with the band, and how if you get fed up, you’re stuck in a place where you probably don’t know anyone except the ones you are traveling with. Nowhere to escape.

I’m not saying he must be feeling all these things, just that I wonder how many of those who recorded the whole show actually remembered that he is exactly like them in for the most part. Only he doesn’t have anonymity anymore, perhaps in most places, but not always.

I have no idea where I wanted to go with this. Only some observations, stimulated by all that people energy I took part in. I can feel my curiosity stoked, my creativity jumping all kinds of places, and my love for humans/humanity strengthened.

I’m not alone. I’ve known that, I haven’t been lonely lately. But… Tonight, I felt it all the way to my bones.

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September 13

Level 45! Speeding up does speeding up things!

Well there we go. 20 lessons a day, broken down as 9 kanji and 11 vocabulary. Radicals are always on top of that, and as I run out of kanji, vocabulary obviously takes over, always keeping to the 20 a day (excluding radicals).

So it took 7 days and 11 hours to get here according to WK stats. It would have taken almost exactly 7 days if I hadn’t been a bit late with my lessons (and the 4 hour review) on the critical to level up bunch of kanji lessons. Not that it matters, because my schedule is always lessons in the morning, and I leveled up in the morning right before my lessons, instead of the night before (which is when I usually level up). I have no intention of switching around when I do lessons.

Currently, if I do fast levels at 7 days and non-fast levels (this one and 48) at 8 days, I will get to level 60 on Dec 29th. So just before the year ends. However, it does ignore the one week vacation I will go on, a time when I will only do reviews.

I’ll have to think on how I wanna deal with that. Especially since I have another trip in January. I’ll either have to speed up a bit more to make it so I can finish all lessons before I go on that trip, or delay getting to 60 (and its lessons) until after that trip.

Maybe the roof renovation that will start by Friday (latest) will decide for me. If I have trouble focusing on work (I work from home), maybe I can sneak in more Japanese study. :joy:

Also, this happened:

Screen Shot 2022-09-12 at 12.10.43

Reading

I am back to reading. Since the read every day challenges are in their off month, I’m counting reading I do in English too (I would count any reading I did in Swedish too, but I just don’t read in Swedish so :woman_shrugging:).

Since my last reading update on September 5, I have: caught up with 夜カフェ, started 耳をすませば with the BBC, read one novel (in English) from start to finish, and finished the last 5-7 chapters of another (English) novel that I started way back.

So I need to restart volume 2 of Orange (I read about 10ish pages many weeks ago), and if I just keep reading that every day, I should be able to catch up and then read the 1st chapter of volume 3 with the club (that I’m leading :scream:). That starts on Saturday so while I might not finish the whole volume before then (depending on what I pick to read), I should be able to get there and finish the first week of volume 3 before week 2 starts.


In conclusion, I will admit I struggled a little with reviews for a couple of days after raising my daily lesson amount, and I expect when I’m tired or have a low-energy day, I will struggle again. But I think I can manage this pace. :slight_smile:

I always try to do daily amounts at such a level that even on a really bad day, I can still hit them. That means I leave a lot of space on my high energy days, but I can always use that energy for other things (such as more reading, instead of more WK). ^^

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September 21

WK

Last night I hit level 46. Meaning I just had an 8 day level (if you count from when I start lessons for each new level until I start lessons for the next). 45 is after all one of the slow levels. Only 48 is left.

Today as I looked over my lesson load over the next few days, I noticed I will run out of vocabulary lessons after tomorrow, and that means two days with no vocabulary lessons because I’ll have to wait for my first 9 kanji batch to guru to unlock more.

This made me look a bit closer at the current ratio of kanji to vocabulary per level, and it is about 38 vs 105. With a split of 9 kanji and 11 vocabulary, I thought that would be fine, but I guess when I run out of kanji I do only vocabulary, and then I crunch through so much that the beginning of the next level run out.

Not sure what I want to do about this yet. I looked at maybe doing all kanji lessons over 3 days instead of 4 (going to 6 day levels, vs my current 7 days). But I still have about 140 lessons per level, dividing that by my daily lesson count comes out to 7, not six. So if I speed up, do I also add more lessons? I’m not sure I’m up for that.

I will think on things this level. Maybe next level I’ll try 6 day level, and need to change my ratio of kanji/vocabulary lessons. 48 will slow me down to an 8 day level either way, so if the pace felt too fast I immediately slow down by two days.

Also going to 6 days per level would get me to 60 by the end of the year, even with a week off from lessons. (I would also have time to finish level 60’s lessons.)

I would have to keep an eye on my vocabulary lessons, since I would technically not do enough daily lessons to cover each level in the timespan I do it. But I could always up my lessons on days with only vocabulary lessons.

I will see. I will experiment.

Reading

Yeah well, I somehow completely missed reading for a week. I did read Japanese subs on anime, so I wasn’t entirely without reading technically, but I don’t know if I’d count that.

New book club week have started so read the weekly portions of those clubs I’m up to date with.

And I don’t feel like talking about catch up things because I don’t seem to do enough reading to actually do that currently.

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September 28

WK

Level 47 now. While it might look like a seven day level, not by the way I count since I won’t be doing my first lessons until tomorrow, it became an 8 day level. I didn’t do lessons one day. You see I had this thing called fever and said nope!

Considering maybe doing this level faster than usual, level 48 will be a forced 8 level since it is the last “slow” level.

So far I’m okay with the workload going on. Some days it feels a bit irksome, but most days it is alright or even better I barely notice it.

Reading

I’ve been keeping up with the clubs I caught up to. I set myself a mini-challenge to finish volume 2 of Orange by end of September, but right now it doesn’t look like I’ll do that. Instead I’ll re-commit to read daily starting on October 1st with the new Read Every Day Challenge, fall edition, starting. This is my home post for that challenge: 📚📚 Read every day challenge - Fall 2022 🍁🍂 - #7 by MissDagger

In that post I reminded myself that sitting down to read doesn’t mean I have to read a whole chapter of Orange, I could just read a few pages. It is very easy to read the full weekly amount of 耳をすませば in one go, because it is the easiest thing I’m reading. Then comes 夜カフェ which can use having a pause in the middle. Followed by Orange, and Loopers is definitely the hardest, which I also haven’t touched in like 2 months. I’m so far behind. :frowning:

I do want to catch up to Orange first though, it is a bit embarrassing to me leading that and to be sooooooo far behind. Also like all discussion have died out more or less which is even sadder. :sob: I should probably stop doing chapter threads from volume 4 on, because there is no point. (And now this is starting to feel like I’m really down on everything, I am a bit under stress for the moment so yeah…)


Anyways, will try to pick up more regular reading come October, but not sure it will really be happening until the roof renovation finishes, which is at least another 2 weeks off. (No idea exactly how long it’ll take them.)

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This is fairly typical. For some of the book clubs I’m running, I’m lucky if there’s more than one comment between weeks!

(I’ve also had clubs where it was down to only me reading.)

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I know it is typical. Just kinda adds to my sad, lol.

If I catch up, I could ask some questions to try and get discussion going. Will have to try that.

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I just got a Kobo Elipsa and set up a JP Rakuten account for it. I haven’t tried buying a book yet, but I downloaded a temporarily free one and worked so hopefully I can buy without a problem.

I mainly bought this version for the note taking ability, not on books but freestyle. And it recognized my normal handwriting. I just realized I didn’t try Swedish or Japanese writing. I do have both English and Japanese dictionaries installed, should probably install a Swedish one too. Right now I’m running the device in English, and if notes mainly works with the device language, that is how it will stay.

I look forward to being able to take a book (many books) and notebook with me, all in one. ^^

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October 4

Now level 48 – WK

I think it might have been a mistake to go down to 6 days, especially without upping my lesson amount. I have quite a few vocabulary lessons left of level 47. On the other hand, I’ve usually run out of vocabulary lessons before I’ve started to guru the first kanji of a new level, so maybe it’ll even out.

Level 48 is the last “slow” level. That means by my standard, quickest I can do is 8 days, that means I can split the kanji over 5 days, so hopefully that will stabilize my lesson pile. If not, I’ll just do a couple of extra lessons when there are only vocabulary lessons left.

Reading

Reading is going all right. I’m reading 3-4 pages (or more) every day, so I won’t fall behind on the clubs I’m caught up with, but right now it looks too slow to actually start catching up with the other clubs. Anyway, it’ll get better in a few weeks time. I just have to hold on and manage the stress I’m under.

Which is what I’m trying to do today. Highly stressful day and I’m feeling awful. Too stressed to find a way to relax, isn’t often it gets to this level, but today? Today I can’t think straight, and trying to relax, aka get my nervous system/emotions/such things to relax is proving futile. Nothing I’ve done so far seems to help.

I feel like right now, I’m just trying to run out the clock on today, so I can go to bed, and let sleep do its healing.

But one thing happened. My brother who’ll be visiting next week, in the end it turned out better if only he comes, instead of him and maybe 1-2 of this kids (aka my niece and nephew). He’ll be installing a new heating system that will serve me well. And since kids are not gonna be in my home, I don’t have to childproof everything until then. Yay.

I’ll have a few more months to do it instead, and he, his partner and the kids will visit next summer instead. It’ll be good. :slight_smile:

So some of the stress have drained, more specifically overwhelm at getting my home ready for kids to be here. I have another reason to get some things sorted, but not urgent in the same way. I know I’m vague posting, but I’m not sharing publicly yet, but soon :tm:.

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