# Marriage, Cohabitation & LGBTQ-issues - how to write/vocab use **URL:** \ **Category:** Kanji\ **Created:** [June 17, 2020, 5:35am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416 "2020-06-17T05:35:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ekg](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/ekg/32/680984_2.png) [@ekg](https://community.wanikani.com/u/ekg)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 5:35am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/1 "2020-06-17T05:35:45Z")
I just got the vocab lesson for 夫妻: ふさい - _married couple, Mr and Mrs, husband and wife._ _That gave rise to a couple of questions about the use of this word._ i) Can it be used to simply imply cohabitation - i.e. living together without being married? ii) What about LGBTQ-issues? Would it be used for two married men or two married women as well? iii) How about non-married cohabiting LGBTQ-people? Can the meaning extent to them as well? Edit: And a feminist question: How about 妻子 さいし - _wife and kids_. Is there a way to say _husband and kids_? Edit 2: Feminist question 2: How about 一夫多妻 いっぷたさい - _Polygamy_ (this word pisses me off). But, in theory, not that I think it’s common, but how about _one wife with many husbands_. Is there a way to say that i Japanese? ---
**Author:** ![Janime6](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/janime6/32/269997_2.png) [@Janime6](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Janime6)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 5:49am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/2 "2020-06-17T05:49:01Z")
Can’t confirm anything properly except edit 2. You can just swap the husband and wife kanji, 一妻多夫 (いっさいたふ). ---
**Author:** ![Leebo](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/leebo/32/439476_2.png) [@Leebo](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Leebo)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 5:51am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/3 "2020-06-17T05:51:26Z")
> [@Janime6](#): > > Can’t confirm anything properly except edit 2. You can just swap the husband and wife kanji, 一妻多夫 (いっさいたふ). And a word for polygamy that doesn’t address how many of which gender are married is 複婚. ---
**Author:** ![ekg](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/ekg/32/680984_2.png) [@ekg](https://community.wanikani.com/u/ekg)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 6:03am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/4 "2020-06-17T06:03:16Z")
Interesting stuff. Thank you both for that. @Janime6 @Leebo Since conservatism is strong in Japan I figured that you might not be able to use “husband and wife” like that, but even if gay marriage isn’t legally recognized in Japan, there are other countries where it is and thus married gay men is something that should need an expression of its own - if 夫妻 for “married couple” isn’t a viable choice. 🤔 ---
**Author:** ![Janime6](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/janime6/32/269997_2.png) [@Janime6](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Janime6)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 6:35am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/5 "2020-06-17T06:35:24Z")
Did a bit of searching around. It looks like you can use ゲイカップル or 同性カップル just fine. Also [婦妻 (ふさい)](https://dic.pixiv.net/a/%E5%A9%A6%E5%A6%BB) for a lesbian couple. [This page](https://ameblo.jp/infection1985/entry-12185080933.html) has a comic and some information regarding the topic as well. Seems like ふうふ can denote 夫婦, 夫夫, and 婦婦 (or just keep it in hiragana). ---
**Author:** ![Houndstooth](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/houndstooth/32/51415_2.png) [@Houndstooth](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Houndstooth)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 6:56am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/6 "2020-06-17T06:56:24Z")
I can’t actually confirm how this works, but I will add that this is the same way the words for siblings and cousins work. きょうだい can be spelled 兄弟、姉弟、兄妹、or 姉妹、though the last is technically read しまい. いとこ is usually 従兄弟、but can also follow the same patterns as 兄弟 to represent sex/age of the cousins. Given that this is the case, it wouldn’t surprise me if 夫婦 worked in a similar fashion. ---
**Author:** ![Matto3](https://cdck-file-uploads-global.s3.dualstack.us-west-2.amazonaws.com/wanikanicommunity/original/3X/f/d/fd4c154120954695f788402f3bcf4e616499bc2d.png) [@Matto3](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Matto3)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 7:47am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/7 "2020-06-17T07:47:20Z")
You might get a good response if you asked this on HelloTalk, I’ve found native speakers on there to be very helpful, plus they’ve got the inside scoop. ---
**Author:** ![Saida](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/saida/32/348936_2.png) [@Saida](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Saida)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 8:04am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/8 "2020-06-17T08:04:13Z")
> [@ekg](#): > > (this word pisses me off) Is it the Japanese word that pisses you off, or the English word? Or just the concept in general? ---
**Author:** ![ekg](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/ekg/32/680984_2.png) [@ekg](https://community.wanikani.com/u/ekg)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 8:04am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/9 "2020-06-17T08:04:31Z")
> [@Janime6](#): > > ゲイカップル or 同性カップル I wonder if this implies marriage or not? My first thought is that it doesn’t, but what do I know. I guess you could add to it to make it explicit: 結婚したゲイカップル - or something like that. The cohabitation-aspect isn’t as obvious. 🤔 Being “together” and a “couple” clearly isn’t the same as living together. Marriage comes with the assumption that you are in fact living together. I might as well at that as a question: how do you say a married couple _live apart_ by choice? ---
**Author:** ![ekg](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/ekg/32/680984_2.png) [@ekg](https://community.wanikani.com/u/ekg)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 8:06am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/10 "2020-06-17T08:06:25Z")
Well, the concept and the fact that it’s written as “one man with many wives” in Japanese. This is a very destructive relationship formula for women (if you care about their rights and mental health in general - science will tell us. It’s illegal for a reason where I live). ---
**Author:** ![Saida](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/saida/32/348936_2.png) [@Saida](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Saida)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 8:07am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/11 "2020-06-17T08:07:48Z")
Same with polygamy, then, since that also means ‘multiple wives’. You can’t use that to refer to multiple husbands either. ---
**Author:** ![Vorthos](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/vorthos/32/187593_2.png) [@Vorthos](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Vorthos)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 8:19am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/12 "2020-06-17T08:19:12Z")
Well, I guess that it makes sense for polygamy to use the kanji that it is spelled with from a biological/historical perspective. When it comes to generating as much offspring as possible, it only works this way around I guess ¯\_(ツ)\_/¯ ---
**Author:** ![ekg](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/ekg/32/680984_2.png) [@ekg](https://community.wanikani.com/u/ekg)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 8:34am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/13 "2020-06-17T08:34:08Z")
I get it, I really do. I just let off some steam. 😅 > [@Houndstooth](#): > > Given that this is the case, it wouldn’t surprise me if 夫婦 worked in a similar fashion. I didn’t know you could change around the formula for siblings, so thanks for that tip. I don’t think WK actually included “siblings” as a meaning for しまい, just for きょうだい. Great tip for cousin, as well. It’s good to know these concepts are actually flexible in their meaning. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Saida](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/saida/32/348936_2.png) [@Saida](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Saida)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 8:37am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/14 "2020-06-17T08:37:21Z")
Since 姉妹 only refers to female siblings, it makes sense. Meanwhile in Dutch we don’t even have a word for mixed gender siblings. There is only brothers, sisters, and brothers and sisters. Also our words for cousin are gendered in the same as nieces and nephews is. ---
**Author:** ![ekg](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/ekg/32/680984_2.png) [@ekg](https://community.wanikani.com/u/ekg)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 8:42am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/15 "2020-06-17T08:42:13Z")
On a similar not, in Swedish we don’t have a gendered word for cousins, just cousins. For siblings there are, brothers, sisters, and siblings - the same as English in this regard. Since Dutch has a lot of influence from English, it did surprise me that there was no equivalence to “siblings” in Dutch! ---
**Author:** ![Saida](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/saida/32/348936_2.png) [@Saida](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Saida)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 8:49am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/16 "2020-06-17T08:49:01Z")
Yes, it surprises (and annoys) me too. On the other hand, we do have single ungendered words to reveal to married couples. Echtpaar. On the other hand, we have a word for spouse (also beautifully ungendered), but I’ve only ever encountered it in crosswords and the like. ---
**Author:** ![Korinoshikkan](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/korinoshikkan/32/33278_2.png) [@Korinoshikkan](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Korinoshikkan)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 9:10am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/17 "2020-06-17T09:10:12Z")
> [@Saida](#): > > we have a word for spouse (also beautifully ungendered), wacht, welk woord? ik kan enkel op echtgenoot/echtgenote of erger nog: man/vrouw komen xp ---
**Author:** ![Omun](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/omun/32/457654_2.png) [@Omun](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Omun)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 9:15am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/18 "2020-06-17T09:15:18Z")
Ik gok dat ze eega bedoelt. ^^ ---
**Author:** ![Saida](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/saida/32/348936_2.png) [@Saida](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Saida)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 9:17am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/19 "2020-06-17T09:17:12Z")
Zoals ik al zei, kom het alleen in woordpuzzels tegen. ---
**Author:** ![Omun](https://sea1.discourse-cdn.com/wanikanicommunity/user_avatar/community.wanikani.com/omun/32/457654_2.png) [@Omun](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Omun)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2020, 9:22am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416/20 "2020-06-17T09:22:44Z")
Before you mentioned it, I hadn’t thought of that word in years and years. It’s a shame it doesn’t get used more, in my opinion. [Next page](https://community.wanikani.com/t/marriage-cohabitation-lgbtq-issues-how-to-writevocab-use/44416.md?page=2)