Probably shouldnโt be sat in bed typing this out when I should be asleep, but honestly, my brain doesnโt feel ready for sleep yet. Itโs been a hard day for all the reasons I talked about yesterday - I think harder because itโs now the only day of the week I spend entirely alone and it makes me miss her even more.
I realise that all my posts so far have been pretty sad and that Iโve been focussing on how Iโm feeling an awful lot. I think itโs mainly because it helps me to write this all out and record my how Iโm feeling during this time. For all that this is a study log, itโs kind of also my journey in that way. Perhaps I should call this Joeniโs Journal instead, eh?
I just guruโd most of my kanji, apart from the three that I made stupid typoโs on without realising. This highlights how I donโt follow my own advice about doing reviews at set times, but Iโm resisting doing the lessons now, at least. So Iโm a hypocrite, but I know my limits.
Iโm hoping that these updates start getting a little happier as time goes on, but Iโm very thankful for those of you who come and read despite the tone.
A 3 (-15)โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ G 41 (+15) โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ M 0 (+/-0)โโ โโโโ โโโโโ E 0 (+/-0) โโโ โโโโโโโโ B 0 (+/-0)
asked me to tell you that you have a very nyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaice journal and that they are rooting for you and hoping that soon you would have a lot of good mews to repurrt here!
Idk if itโll help, but a while back in tavern, I had talked about how my own study log, a google form, felt really negative and the advice I got was to add a prompt asking myself to write something good that happened. I think it helps me to feel better because even if I was negative, Iโm making sure to end on a positive note.
Iโm sat in bed on my MacBook writing this again, which is probably a bad habbit to be getting into. Then again, Iโd rather this than the other habbit of it alway getting to lunchtime and then realising that Iโd not posted an update. Oh well.
Spent a lot of my day today out playing in the park with my son, which has been good for distracting me. I then spent most of the evening diligently working through the 1,000 piece Lego minifig puzzle that my mother got me for my birthday back in August and Iโd been putting off starting it until I had somewhere to do it on. My only large enough surface is my desk and I didnโt really want a half-finished puzzle taking up that space. My solution was to pop over to the Department of Architecture and Civil Engineering where theyโve got a lovely woodshop - I got one of the very kind techs to cut me a properly sized piece of board and now Iโve got the perfect surface to work on, hoorah!
Iโve been re-watching Greyโs Anatomy in the evenings as a way to have some familiar content to turn my brain off to while I browse the forums, play Hearthstone, do a puzzle, whatever, and Iโm enjoying revisitng the characters. What I didnโt quote bank on is ending the evening on an episode that ends with a song that fits my circumstances so well that it was a total gut punch. Swans by Uncle Bob, if youโre curious.
I made really good progress on my puzzle and I also just levelled up though, so Iโm ending things on a positive note at least. Going to snuggle up in bed with my current Discworld book (Guards! Guards!) - Iโm doing a re-read of the whole series and, again, finding a lot of joy in revisiting characters.
A 81 (+78)โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ G 44 (+3) โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ M 0 (+/-0)โโ โโโโ โโโโโ E 0 (+/-0) โโโ โโโโโโโโ B 0 (+/-0)
Iโm on my first read through the series, but I too set aside extra time in bed before sleep each evening to immerse myself in the Discworld. Iโm reading Carpe Jugulum right now; the Death collection is my favourite, but Witches is a very close second.
Oh to be able to read through them for the first time and enjoy them fresh! Iโve always sort of wished there was a way to remove memories of books for that purpose. Ultimately though, thereโs always so much feeling associated with books and a re-read is like revisiting old friends.
Oh gosh, I canโt pick a favourite theme, I love them all so much. Iโve got a particular fondness for certain characters though like Susan Sto Helit (who you will have met) and Tiffany Aching (who youโll not have yet). They both have some truly excellent quotes.
Iโve got a lot of time for the most recent two arcs, those of Moist von Lipwig and Tiffany Aching, who two respective title characters in 8 of his last 12 books written. I really feel like the books got better and better over the years and Pratchett said before his died that the Tiffany books were the ones he wanted to be remembered for.
I can tell you, unequivocally, that my favourite individual books are; Mort, The Thief of Time, and Night Watch
I decided that this week I would start trying to practice running. Iโve never been a runner, never aspired towards running, nor really enjoyed it (though I do enjoy waking), but my mum recommend I try a parkrun on the first Saturday alone after my breakup and I went. I found that my lung capacity was terrible and vowed not to let that remain the case.Last week I didnโt force myself, because I wanted to take time to settle for a bit, but Iโve committed to it now.
So 7am saw me heading out for a 20min / 3km jog. It wasnโt easy, which is disheartening given how much waking I do and how good my leg strength is. Weight and general well-being is my main motivation for this extra exercise - trying to replace the waking lost from no longer walking the 2mi to Sโ house regularly in the week. Iโm down to just over 13st (down from 15.5st) in the last year and in the beset shape Iโve been in howโre, and Iโd like to keep it that way
Tomorrow m is a recovery day, so Iโll be up in the morning for a walk before work, zzzz
A 50 (-31)โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ G 75 (+31) โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ M 0 (+/-0)โโ โโโโ โโโโโ E 0 (+/-0) โโโ โโโโโโโโ B 0 (+/-0)
Warning, that link contains an F-word, but thatโs not because Iโm sharing this link
Iโm sharing this link because I really hope jogging would help you cope with stress as much as it helps Oatmeal.
May the Great Cat of Health โ both Meowntal and Physical โ return to you and purrotect you and help you deal with everything!
I didnโt go for a walk this morning, mainly because I went to bed really lateโฆ which Iโm doing again today, when I should know better. Iโm going to make every effort to still go out for a quick 20-30min run in the morning however.
I largely made up for the lack of morning walking with daytime walking - I had to go into my sonโs school today for his monthly behaviour meeting which was largely positive. I then had to head back to campus to work the rest of the day before finally escaping the office at 6:30PM having stayed late to finish printing the 2nd draft of a key holder Iโd designed in OnShape that I revised after mistakes on the first version.
The second version is almost perfect and Iโve set off an Extra Fine run on the Ultimaker 5S overnight to hopefully get the tolerances as exact as possible. Iโve realised, sadly, that because Iโd worked to make it super thin, the joining screws I was going to use are actually too long and so I may have to add 1mm to each side to make it work a bit more tidilyโฆ that or create a nook for a nut to sit in.
All this design work because my house and mailbox keys are both funny shapes with slot type keyring cutouts, so they donโt work with a traditional key spreader.
Iโm fairly happy with the design though and how the keys sit.
Final version will be whiteโฆ I just couldnโt be bothered to change the filament over for the draft and the other two 5Sโ were printing, haha.
A 48 (-2)โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ G 75 (+2) โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ M 0 (+/-0)โโ โโโโ โโโโโ E 0 (+/-0) โโโ โโโโโโโโ B 0 (+/-0)
I already had my son coming over to spend the day with me because he couldnโt attend school, so the thankfully the snow didnโt change much about my plans.
Campus was pretty much closed and so there were very few people around. This being the case, we took the sled over and spent some time going up and down the grass amphitheatre next to the lake, which makes a very good sledding hill, all told.
No students also meant unfettered access to the manufacturing lab and so I ran another prototype of my key slider - made some more iterative changes like adding a blocker in the middle to keep the keys in position and increasing thickness of one side to account for the mailbox key being smaller. Iโm thankful that the 5S can run a draft print out in about 30mins, meant I was able to iterate a couple of times. I did waste three hours waiting due to the Z-axis motor failing on one of the printers though, alas.
Happier with the shape of this version - rotating the keys slightly to keep them closer to the edge while increasing the gaps makes the shape smoother overall and makes it easier for me to slide the key out with my thumb, which is the intent. If I could put a thumb tab in like I have in my Free P2 I would, but alas, that would make it somewhat difficult to get the key into the lock
A 47 (-1)โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ G 125 (+50) โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ M 0 (+/-0)โโ โโโโ โโโโโ E 0 (+/-0) โโโ โโโโโโโโ B 0 (+/-0)
Iโm sorry to say that I totally forgot to post an update yesterday, I ended up staying up too late working on a project and then likewise forgot when I woke up this morning.
Iโve had another day at home with my son today, though the university was open again and so I had to spend most of the day working. I was happy this morning to see that my motherโs day gift that Iโd been working on came off the printer okay and so I spent some time cleaning and sanding before popping it in the post to hopefully arrive tomorrow
Oh and I hit level three - onewards and upwards!
A 20 (-27)โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ G 172 (+47) โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ M 0 (+/-0)โโ โโโโ โโโโโ E 0 (+/-0) โโโ โโโโโโโโ B 0 (+/-0)
I spend this morning being entirely lazy, which I feel as justified given the kind of week itโs been - very busy and a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. I did an hour of frantic tidying before my son was dropped over and then went on an adventure ino town to get some books from World Book Day and some groceries.
We had a relaxed and chilled out evening and a pizza dinner and now Iโm having a very early (for me) night as heโs in bed now, so I expect Iโll get woken up pretty early. Going to have a lazy day with some Motherโs Day card making and just generally wholesome activities. Which is good, because they weather has been less than stellar of late.
Iโm a bit all over the place emotionally at the moment and so Iโm going to throw myself into reading my book and just trying to shut my brain off tonight.
A 60 (+40)โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ G 172 (+/-0) โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ M 0 (+/-0)โโ โโโโ โโโโโ E 0 (+/-0) โโโ โโโโโโโโ B 0 (+/-0)
My son was incredibly well behaved and didnโt wake me up this morning, itโs a shame that my body is wired to consistently wake up about 6am these days, despite my med alarm always going off at 7:30 which is the point I usually get out of bed.
Regardless, I had a very wholesome day with some time out and the park, some craft, and a lot of chilling out and watching films. Altogether a lovely Sunday. I messaged my mum in the morning and wished her a happy motherโs day. She thankfully reminded me that itโs next week before I had my son start drawing a card, haha. It also means my present to her that didnโt manage to arrive yesterday will actually be plenty early - perhaps I was telling myself it was this week in order to ensure that.
Feeling all kinds of melancholy tonight, if Iโm being honest, and as itโs half past midnight I should probably try and get some sleep. Whether I actually manage to get the sleep I need is another matter, Iโm going to sink into my book until I start to drift off.
I hope everyone had a nice weekend <3
A 101 (+41)โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ G 172 (+/-0) โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ M 0 (+/-0)โโ โโโโ โโโโโ E 0 (+/-0) โโโ โโโโโโโโ B 0 (+/-0)
Despite it being nearly half past midnight, Iโve just sat here and done nearly one hundred review, such is my dedication and generally poor life balance.
I had a good day at work today at least, getting through a lot of stuff that needed attention, having a really nice catch up with my friend Sanjay, and progressing my newest 3D printing project. I need to go into campus early tomorrow to grab some bits of the printer, but not as early as I usually do, thankfully.
Iโm still feeling a bit all over the place emotionally, but Iโve been reminded how many people in my life are there for me when Iโm feeling low and that alone is really helpful. Itโs also been raising my spirits a bit to see that The Boy, The Mole, The Fox, and The Horse one an Oscar last night - that animation (and the book) changed my life in a number of profound ways and Iโve never been happier, nor felt it more deserving, to see a win!
A 85 (-16)โโโโโโโโโโโ โโโ G 188 (+16) โโโโ โโโโโโโโโ M 0 (+/-0)โโ โโโโ โโโโโ E 0 (+/-0) โโโ โโโโโโโโ B 0 (+/-0)
That is such a beautiful book! I also found it helpful, to the point I felt I ought to show it to my therapist who was also moved by it. I didnโt know an animation had been made of it.
Itโs on BBC iPlayer in the UK and Apple TV+ everywhere else.
Though if one had a way to appear to be in the UK, they could watch it too on iPlayer too, one suposes
