There’s no need to apologize for “the wall of text”. I think many of us have been where you are at some point or another. From the way it sounds, the current resources you are using aren’t really helping you understand the concepts the way you’re supposed to learn them. You should take the time to invest in a beginner textbook that suits your needs the best; not everyone conceptualizes things in the same way so what might work for one person may not been effective for another. Although going the free route might serve you better due to financial constraints, if learning Japanese is a priority for you, then I would recommend purchasing a textbook that will help you. One thing I’ve learned during my studies in Japanese (and other languages for that matter) is that learning another language doesn’t require one to be “smart” but to think about the world and the conceptualize things differently. This can be quite difficult because people want things to equate to the way they have learned in their native language. Some books do a good job at making this transition easier for those who need the extra support. Please refer to the recommendations made by the other users and take a minute to look at the resources for grammar studies in the following threads here and here (There’s some overlap, but just to make sure that you’re not missing anything).
Since you’re new here, you probably don’t know that posting unauthorized download sites of copyrighted material is against the terms of service for this forum. So I suggest that you edit your post so that those who run this forum don’t suspend your account for breaching the rules here.