Sunday, June 5, 2022
Wow. This is what I meant by ebb and flow!
I woke up to so much great discussion this morning, by far my favorite so far.
And thank you for the kind words! As I’m sure is obvious, this thread has become a passion for me. I’ve learned a ton, made several new friends, and it’s just the push I needed to regularly research more about Japanese every day. Without the community I’d never have started the thread, much less continued it daily.
Previous senryu
- 我が家の灯しばらく外で眺める
わがやのとう・しばらくそと・でながめる
our home’s light: / a while outside to / take it in
Notes:
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to everyone who participated in this terrific discussion -
@Arzar33 explained the feeling far better than I can: “The image I get is someone at night looking at their house (husband coming back from work fairly late at night?) contemplating/meditating on the the light coming out, probably thinking happily about their family or something.”
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It was a tough call, but somehow @Axazel’s wording felt more poetic to me. I did take the liberty of adding a colon. The first stanza sets the scene.
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I’m starting to think “sentimental” might be better than “heartfelt” for this volume. Such a slippery word to translate
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I definitely agree with the apparent consensus that the author is staring at the light, rather than outside but in the light, staring outward (「灯に眺める」or 「灯を眺める」 vs.「灯で眺める」). It’s amazing to me that Japanese allows one to leave such an important particle out without breaking the sentence. Though this sort of ambiguity is often intentional with poetry in any language, I suppose.
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I love, love, love the fact that my question about whether Japanese or English was usually harder when translating these was answered both ways!
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“We can’t really tell what reading the writer had in mind but probably, 「ともしび」.” Hah! Like the townspeople in Frankenstein holding torches while storming the castle? Thats an interpretation I hadn’t considered!
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“@Rrwrex Seems to have knowledge as to how characters are read in order to fit into 川柳 forms…” heh. hah. hee, hahaha,
I struggle with this almost daily, which is why I ask everyone to include the reading with their submission. In this case, though, I think it’s a reading that nobody seems to have suggested: 電灯の灯！You know, the reading that Wanikani teaches! -
The reading I provided is 6-6-5 instead of 5-7-5, but I hate splitting the reading of a word.
to Current senryu challenge
Volume: Intense
- 懐かしい母校の便り寄付依頼
I’m not 100% confident in my reading yet, but I think this one is unlikely to be interpreted in different ways. We will see.
Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.
Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源由来辞典 is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.
Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.