(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

The wrestler quietly captured a bug during the match?


I’m tickled pink that my understanding of today’s (and yesterday’s) senryu was confirmed to be correct by my daughter, but I had to explain it to her first!

Oh! This senryu reminded me of a likely apocryphal story I heard long ago about an American guy living in New York breaking up with his girlfriend. They have a huge fight, and he tells her, “Look, I have to go on an international business trip for a week, but when I get back I want you and all your stuff packed up and outta here!”.

When he returns from his trip, he notices the phone off the hook. When he picks it up, he hears, 「ただ今、一時三十七分三十秒です。。。ピー。。。ただ今、。。。」

2 Likes

Yes, more or less, haha. Thanks for playing along!

This was my friend’s translation when I shared it:

The wrestler who
In the middle of the match
gently saves a bug

Here’s a tweet from one of the wrestlers about this moment, which I stole some of the wording from for my poem. I struggled a bit with how exactly to end it, but settled on だ because the emphatic self-expression use seemed to fit how I felt watching that wrestler capture the bug and walk out of the ring in the middle of the match to take it outside haha. It was a moment that left a strong emotional impression on me and changed how I viewed him.

1 Like

Heh, that’s awesome and now I understand. You’re right, it’s like a senryu: you can translate the words and still have no idea what it really means! Those things seemed so NOT to belong together that I was utterly uncertain of my translation.

The replies to that tweet are hysterical.

1 Like

By the way, pretty much every single character in that tweet came up in my reviews over the past few days!

Seriously, it’s a disturbingly weird coincidence that (かたまり) (level 45), (まぎ)れる (level 44), and ()がす (level 42) came up in the same sentence.

It’s the hand of Koichi!

3 Likes

That’s amazing, haha! I guess I was meant to write that senryu and share it! :blush:

This thread has given me such an appreciation for senryu, honestly. I’ve always had a hard time connecting with poetry (in any language), and haiku never did much for me, but I appreciate how senryu are sort of a puzzle in addition to a poem. It makes them feel more rewarding to decipher.

1 Like

Monday, May 23, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. リダイヤルされないように時報聞き
    リダイヤル・されないようにじ・ほうをきき
    To keep them from / redialing me / time service called

Notes:

  • Whee. That was fun. Our first two-day effort
  • :confetti_ball: to @mitrac
  • I took the liberty of munging @mitrac’s version into a 4-5-4
  • It occurs to me that I get a little endorphin rush if I can use a 4 or 5 syllable word!
  • For future readers: This is the story of someone who received a call from someone they didn’t wish to speak to again for a while, so they called up the time service to tie up their line. Younger folks should google “telephone busy signal” and “time-of-day service” or “speaking clock”.

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Various settings

  1. 横の子をあやして泣かれ席を立つ

I don’t understand this one yet, so no hints I’m afraid. I’m now using a random number generator to pick each day’s poem.

Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.


Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

2 Likes

I’m struggling to parse this one. Here are my current thoughts (any comments/suggestions/ideas are more than welcome):

I’m unsure if 横の子 here means a child lying on their side or if it means a child next to the author. I think it can mean either depending on context (which might be intentional).

So 横の子をあやす either means to comfort a child beside you, or to comfort a child who’s lying down. 子供(こども)をあやして(ねむ)らせた means “I coaxed the child to sleep” so there appears to be a sense of “coaxing” or struggling to comfort here.

泣かれる is the passive conjugation of ()く, so it means “was crying”. For example, (あか)(ぼう)()かれた means “I was bothered by the baby’s crying”.

席を立つ simply means to leave one’s seat or to stand up out of your chair.

But I can’t put all of that together into anything that makes sense to me. I wonder if maybe 泣かれ席 belong together instead? Something like “I stand from the crying chair and comfort the lying baby”? Still seems weird.

For a minute I was wondering if a chair had fallen causing the baby to cry, and the author stood it up. But 立つ is intransitive: the author has to be doing the standing.

I’m still confused. I think I’m going to have to use my lifeline again.

Daughter #2 is also unsure, but first impression was of a person comforting a child lying down then sitting then immediately leaving their seat to comfort crying child again. But she’s unsure. (Daughter #2 is also fluent but by far the most American of my three kids — she’s forgetting her kanji — I suspect I will need my wife to weigh in on this one.)

席を立つ emphasizes leaving, so it might be something like they have to leave because of the baby’s crying. As a parent of three, I know by FAR the hardest part of parenting was sometimes letting the kids cry so they learn how to comfort themselves.

1 Like

Don’t have time for a full translation attempt but:

I wonder if the て-form here means that 横の子をあやして is subordinate to the main clause so we have to parse it backwards?

Standing up since the baby was crying, laid (the baby) on the side to be comforted

1 Like

I have the answer but won’t post until tomorrow.

Hint:

横にいる子 not 横になっている子

1 Like

I have no idea if this is correct, but I’ll try. Doesn’t have the right syllables though.

My attempt to comfort the kid next to me made them cry, so I got up and left.

Alternatively, because I can’t decide,

I comforted the crying child next to me by leaving.

Probably both are wrong.

4 Likes

Don’t worry - I won’t tell anyone else that you figured it out. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

4-5-4 attempt, but not happy with the translation, on top of being not sure about my interpretation of the situation:

よこのこをあやしてなかれ、せきをたつ
Fuss with the child / asleep, till It bawls: / Regret! Repent!!

横の子 sleeping child
あやす to cuddle, to rock, to dandle etc.
なかれる (passive of 泣く) to be made to cry
席を立つ get up a) to pacify the child or b) exit to avoid recrimination. The literal translation makes no sense in English - had to resort to dramatized pathos

1 Like

Ah! Looks like I made the mistake that @Rrwrex hinted at. :roll_eyes:

1 Like

I was discussing the above 句 with a 日本人 friend and she composed the following as a comforting response:

「目が覚めて 今日も私は 生きている」
Heck, yes! :grinning:

Belated Happy Birthday, @Rrwrex !!

1 Like

Thank you!

Yup. A close friend taught me my favorite expression: “keep breathing.” The best advice I know (useful in all sorts of situations).

He also taught me that “even prisoners get to eat.” :smile:

Tuesday, May 24, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 横の子をあやして泣かれ席を立つ
    よこのこを・あやしてなかれ・せきをたつ
    My attempt to comfort the kid next to me made them cry, so I got up and left.

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: to @KJules (well done, none of the rest of us got it)
  • I’ve noticed with many of these that once they are explained, the grammar makes complete sense
  • The keys to this one was realizing it was a 横にいる子 not 横になっている子, and realizing that 席を立つ has a strong sense of leaving, not just getting out of your chair. Oh, and あやしてなかれ implies the comforting caused the crying. So yeah, you have to figure out all of it to understand any of it!

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Heartfelt

  1. しみじみと妻のイビキを聞いている

Note that this is in the しみじみ編 which I’ve been calling the “heartfelt” volume, but that’s not a very good translation. I think this is just one of those words with no perfect English equivalent. That word should be the only difficult part with this one (famous last words).

Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.


Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.!

3 Likes

translation attempt

しみじみとつまのイビキをきいている

listening, softly
the gentle snores of my wife
permeate my heart

Translation notes

I added the words softly and gentle to reach the 5 7 5 syllable count, and to fit the しみじみ mood.

4 Likes

Lovely submission, but I wanted to point out that we now prefer 3-5-3 or 4-5-4 per this article that @fallynleaf referenced in this post.

Using fewer English syllables definitely seems to “feel” closer to the original Japanese.

Also, I’m unsure, but I suspect that this one may use a different connotation for しみじみ. I’m suspecting this one:

しみじみ聴く listen attentively

The と is also making me squirm a little, though. I’m not confident with my interpretation yet.

Translation attempt

  1. しみじみと妻のイビキを聞いている

しみじみと・つまのイビキを・きいている

I’m listening,
keenly attentive
— my wife’s snoring

2 Likes

thanks for letting me know! In this case it did feel like I needed to add quite a bit to get up to that syllable count.

1 Like