(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

Definitely wouldn’t have guessed without deepl, but here’s a 575 version

Riding the last train,
Why am I the only one
Who’s sober on it?

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I just saw this thread and caught up with all the entries up to now. Surely the most fun way to learn the nuances of the language, culture, society and customs that I’ve come across so far! Hats off for the idea, implementation and the daily effort you’re putting into it Rrwrex!

The last train (of the day) - / Why am I /the lone sober rider?

Not a 5-7-5 translation, but have tried to capture the spirit of the original. And also taken the liberty to switch things around and make it more sensible to an English reader. I’m sure there are mistakes, but that ensures that I will learn. If this 川柳 hinges on the regret of not being drunk, it is enough of a “correct understanding” :wink:

A suggestion: Instead of posting a new 川柳 daily, it may be better to do one every two days as the detailed discussions each entry spawns and where they lead us are such a useful part of the exercise that some may not be able to digest in a single day.

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Thanks for the kind words! Definitely one my better ideas, for sure.

I’m having too much fun doing these daily to stop now, but it’s absolutely fair game to revisit past translations. In fact, we should probably consider each day’s “winner” to just be a tentative translation after one day of study.

Further discussion on past poems is welcome. Since they are so short, just copy the original in its entirety, but also including the number and a link to the daily assignment post would be helpful.

That’s one of the reasons I assigned a number to each of these to begin with. I actually messed up the numbering a few different times (including pasting in a group of poems twice), hopefully I’ve managed to correct everything.

I’m trying to keep the spreadsheet the canonical reference. I should be the only one with edit privileges, so any and all mistakes are my own!

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Extremely pleased that I was finally able to read one of these and feel like I understood it, haha. I only had to look up one word (the same one you did) :blush:

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A little bird tells me that tomorrow’s will be very easy to read, I don’t think you’ll need any dictionary lookups at all. It does require a bit of cultural knowledge, though. There may be hints.

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Thought I’d try my hand at doing an actual translation so that I could show it to my friends. Here was my best attempt:

Last train of the day.
Why am I the only one
who is sober here?

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A second English 5-7-5 senryu today. Nice!

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Seems like wanikani really pays attention to this thread, just got this

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First attempt :slight_smile:

Last train of the night
Why am I the only one
Who’s not off his face?

Went more colloquial to echo the in 素面 (しらふ).

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<thecount>Three, THREE English senryu, ah, ah, ahhh!</thecount>

Way to make my job hard this morning!

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Friday, May 6, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. 終電車どうして俺だけしらふなの
    しゅうでんしゃ・どうしておれだけ・しらふなの
    Last train of the night / Why am I the only one / Who’s not off his face?

Notes:

  • :confetti_ball: :confetti_ball: :confetti_ball: @Gorbit99 @fallynleaf @valvictorine
  • English 5-7-5 FTW!
  • All submissions were great today, but I had to pick one. That I had three with 5-7-5 was amazing. Remember, though, that accurate, understandable translations are more important than 5-7-5.
  • Really struggled picking a winner. I finally gave @valvictorine the nod because “night” fits better with 終電車(しゅうでんしゃ) and the play with 素面(しらふ) was exquisite. Well done.

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Heartfelt

  1. 花の名を聞いてケンカの仲なおり

This should be fairly easy to read (no kanji beyond WK level 11). Understanding may require a bit of cultural understanding, though.

Hints:

  • You may find it useful to research 花言葉(はなことば).
  • I’m not 100% certain, but I think the () must have a pretty well-known 花言葉 meaning.
  • Which flower do you think was given?
  • Alternately, what do you think caused the fight? :slight_smile:

Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.


Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level!

Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser.

Here’s the link to the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

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Our fighting broke off, after hearing the name of the flower

Not sure, what the flower would be, tbh

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I’m going with

azaleas. More for the 禁酒(きんしゅ) meaning more than the (こい)(よろこ)び meaning.

[See 花ことば一覧]

The story writes itself!

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Ok, i like that a lot :joy:

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Translation Attempt

oh hey, this one makes sense!

5-7-5:
On the last train home
Why am I the only one
Who’s not drunk at all?

edit: ah didn’t see this was for yesterday! well, i tried. lemme go look at today’s.

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Translation Attempt

Just hearing the name of the flower, we begin to reconcile.

I don’t think I have enough cultural context to really go much further than that.

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Aha! You were right; this one was easy enough for me after all (though I still had to look up ケンカ :sweat_smile:). Here is my attempt at a translation:

(はな)()()いてケンカの(なか)なおり

Asking the name of
the flower for making peace
after a quarrel

It’s funny; I actually recently learned about 花言葉 in Japanese culture because of a couple recent pro wrestling feuds where it came up. Thanks to wrestling, I’ve learned that yellow roses can mean “jealousy” and “beauty”, but also can mean “friendship”, and daisies can mean “I feel the same as you”. Those are the only two that I’ve learned, haha, so I don’t know what flower would be relevant for this poem!

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Translation Attempt

  1. 花の名を聞いてケンカの仲なおり

はなのなをきいてけんかの・なかなおり

What is the name of
The flower that can fix a
Quarrel among friends?

I took a few liberties to get the 5-7-5 in English.

Some thoughts:

  • 聞いて I’m translating here as “to ask” rather than “to hear”
  • I think 花言葉 is implied a bit but I’m not sure whether there’s another phrase that applies to 花の名 that I’m missing
  • I’m assuming なか is short for 仲間
  • 直る in the i-form is what makes me think the sentence is about an object

Edit:

After reading the other entries, I like the way @fallynleaf phrased it as making peace.

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You learned 花言葉 but not ケンカ from pro wrestling?!! :rofl:

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Ahaha, that is a bit ironic, isn’t it :sweat_smile:

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