(The increasingly less) Daily senryu thread

Actually, I’m pretty sure that it does mean “only” here surprisingly enough.

I think what you might be missing is that このオレ (この(おれ)) pretty much means “this guy” (like with double thumbs pointing at yourself).

I think the meaning for this one is basically: "As for this guy, the only warm thing in my life is my toilet seat".

It didn’t occur to me, but it’s also possible that some here might not have yet experienced the joys of a Toto Washlet!

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OK, I think the katakana messed me up a bit. I assumed that meant they were using a different definition - I forgot that katakana can be used “just because”.

I’ve been pretty off in most of these so far, but I can definitely feel my brain starting to wrap itself around more grammar every day. So I count this as an overall win.

Oddly enough for a US resident, my parents actually have a bidet in the house I grew up in, so the toto washlet is not an entirely foreign concept to me! Though admittedly, their bidet seems like it’s from the stone ages compared to some of the features I’ve seen on toilets used in Japan. I’m sure if I got used to it, it would be quite nice, but the thing always scared me a little. :sweat_smile:

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I remember laughing for a solid ten minutes when I first discovered my friend’s new toilet came with a remote control…

(Intended to be mounted on the wall next to the toilet of course, and just to eliminate the need for wiring, but it still cracked me up.)

このオレに あたたかいのは 便座だけ

このオレに・あたたかいのは・べんざだけ

The sole warmth poor
me gets is that from
the toilet seat

4-5-4
Translating このおれ proved to be tricky. Given the hyperbole of the original 川柳, poor me seems quite reasonable.

I remember my very impression of the control panel on my very first visit to Japan in the 90’s (pre-internet days). The controls looked like a console on the space shuttle, or buttons in James Bond’s gizmo laden car that would do weird things. And that led me imagine the button as an “eject button.” I couldn’t stop laughing for quite a while. :smiley:

Joking aside, bless that Japanese and their トイレ obsession that led to the Toto washlet. It has left the human race more civilized.

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このオレに あたたかいのは べんざだけ

for this guy,
the only warmth’s the
toilet seat

Squished “warmth is” into a contraction to get that 3-5-3 :sweat_smile:.

3 Likes

Tuesday, August 9, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. このオレに あたたかいのは 便座だけ
    このオレに あたたかいのは べんざだけ
    For this guy, / the only warmth’s the / toilet seat

Notes:

  • I wasn’t sure whether to add or deduct points for an explanation that used the words “squished” and “warmth” in a sentence indirectly talking about toilet seats!

  • “Poor me” vs. “This guy” was a tough call. On the one hand, “this guy” (referring to oneself) is a more direct translation without introducing the pitiful feeling implied by the rest of the sentence, but on the other hand it’s not completely obvious it’s talking about oneself without the double thumbs!

  • I couldn’t agree more about @macha1313 's comment about learning more grammar from these every day. My grammar knowledge has improved noticeably since starting this thread. The nature of these short poems is that they introduce a LOT of different grammatical constructions, and they run the gamut from formal written-only constructs to much more colloquial spoken-only constructs. They also cover a lot of vocabulary ground. The cultural aspects are also fun to learn about and discuss. I’m indebted to @Gorbit99 for talking me into starting this thread!

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Heartfelt (しみじみ編)

  1. まな板のリズムで朝が動き出し

Speaking of new vocabulary! Today I learned what a まな板 is.

A まな板 I made as a Christmas gift for my mother last year

My mother had two cats. Then she got involved with a great charity that feeds, captures, and pays to sterilize wild cats (mostly ex-pets that stupid, evil people release into the wild when they no longer want to take care of them). They occasionally have to foster kittens that are born before they can capture the adult cats. My mom volunteered to foster for a while: she now has FIVE (5!) cats because she formed an attachment to three and couldn’t give them up. We don’t let her foster any more!

The photo makes it look like stickers, but that’s 1/2" ebony inlays!

I call it a cutting board, but she says it’s too nice to cut on so she only uses it as a charcuterie/serving board.

Speaking of my mother, I’m flying most of the day tomorrow to Virginia for a visit with her until Saturday, 8/20. I’ll try to post tomorrow’s poem before I leave the house (or at least during our layover in DFW).

@LaVieQ: please send an email to rw@pobox.com and I’ll send you the numbers of the next several poems if you’re still willing to guest host for a while. TIA!


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.

Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

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You didn’t require much convincing, it was mainly a joke :joy:

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That’ll teach ya!

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まないたの りずむであさが うごきだし

chopping board / rhythm sets morning / in motion

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I might actually have a decent translation for once! Edited to add a slightly more poetic version.

まないたのりずむであさがおごきだし

The rhythm of the cutting board gets me going in the morning.

In an attempt to make this sound like a poem at all:
The rhythm of / the cutting board starts me / in the morning

Wish I could figure out how to get one less syllable out of it, but there it is.

3 Likes

This is great. It captures the essence of the poem for sure. Can you turn it into three stanzas? (Mostly we’ve been aiming for 3-5-3 or 4-5-4 syllables, but it really isn’t all that strict.)

At first, we all tried to match the three-stanza, 5-7-5 structure of the originals in our English translations.

Then @fallynleaf in #471 found a great article that pointed out that English syllables aren’t a perfect match for (おん) in Japanese (morae). 17 syllables tend to sound a bit wordy.

So we’ve been following the guidance of “modern haiku experts” (on the internet :roll_eyes: ) and trying to aim for three stanzas of 11 to 14 syllables in our translations.

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Is there one with Furigana or similar website but includes furigana? i do not know a lot of Kanji but this seems rather fun!

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Part of the challenge is to figure out the reading (it isn’t always completely obvious).

Any submissions before yours should have the readings included if you really get stuck.

Participating will definitely help you practice looking up words in a JE dictionary, though. It’s a skill well worth acquiring! One strong recommendation that makes lookups trivial is to install Yomichan if you use Chrome or Firefox as your browser.

Have fun and don’t worry about mistakes! (Trust me, I make enough for all of us.)


Oh: Previous translations (including readings) are in the spreadsheet as well as linked from the top post. It might be worth using the links in the top post to review some of the starred translations (seeing how people responded and how our translations evolved).

Ah i see! will do that, thanks

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まな板のリズムで朝が動き出し

まないたの・リズムであさが・うごきだし

Mornings start
with chop-chop sound of
cutting board

3-5-3

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You must have バタバタ (flapping noises, like running/slapping feet) on your mind. Not sure how else you came up with まなばた instead of まないた! I first read it (incorrectly) as まなばん. :laughing:

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I think I mixed the onyomi (ばん) and kunyomi (いた) to come up with my own reading. Such things happen at this age… :wink:

Fixed it. Thanks.

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I have only just started studying outside of WaniKani, so I don’t know too much more kanji than you do, and I’m finding them technically doable but difficult. But they say you don’t learn if you don’t challenge yourself! And everyone has been very kind to help me correct my mistakes.

I will second using something like Yomichan (other options are Rikaikun or Rikaichamp, depending on your browser). I just starting using Anki to supplement and learn more words, and Yomichan will let you automatically add flashcards. It takes some setup, but it is worth it. Even knowing very little grammar, just being able to look up all the vocabulary gives me a general idea of the meaning of the sentence, and if I find a word I think is worth knowing immediately, I can add it to my deck right away.

2 Likes

Wednesday, August 10, 2022


Previous senryu

  1. まな板のリズムで朝が動き出し
    まないたのりずむであさがおごきだし
    chopping board / rhythm sets morning / in motion

Nice job everyone. For once, “heartfelt” seemed like the right translation for the しみじみ volume!

Current senryu challenge

Volume: Husbands

  1. 冷戦の妻が六法読み始め

This one may take a little research. I find it interesting that both languages use the same words for “cold war”.


Remember to please use the spoiler tag with your translation attempts! Also, please include the reading in kana with your submission.

Everyone is encouraged to participate, no matter your level! Questions and comments are as valued as translation submissions.

Please try not to be disappointed if your translation isn’t selected or if you disagree with the daily choice: the judge isn’t terribly consistent with his grading (and has awful taste!).
Online tools like dictionaries, sentence databases, and even AI translation engines are fair game and can be extremely helpful. Yomichan is particularly handy if you use the Chrome or Firefox browser. The 語源(ごげん)由来(ゆらい)辞典(じてん) is also an excellent resource for researching the etymology of various words and expressions.

Here are the links to the 356 Japanese originals (spoiler free) and to the the spreadsheet with all the upcoming senryu as well as the translations to date.

1 Like
  1. 冷戦の妻が六法読み始め

れいせんのつまがろっぽうよみほじめ

(My?) wife from the cold war begins reading the compendium of laws

It also seems very possible that “wife” is actually “mistress” - そばめ. Maybe the speaker was serving in the military abroad and had a partner while he was away from home, and now she’s having to adjust to the new rules of Japan? I did pick up that the compendium of laws / six codes is modern Japanese law. I have the feeling this one is relying on some cultural stuff I may not know - I don’t know much about history in the US, and I know much less about countries that were on opposing sides of wars/conflicts we were involved in.

2 Likes