Crimes of the WaniKani Protagonist

WaniKani
1

We all know about the villainous Ms. Chou, but the POV character is not unstained either. Here’s is a list of Our Hero’s many sins:

  1. Child neglect
  2. Animal abuse
  3. Torture
  4. Gang violence
  5. Illegally supplying weapons
  6. Angelophagy and theft of hats
  7. Sadistic, unprovoked murder, complete with evil laugh
  8. Beastiality, animal murder
  9. Property destruction, being a public hazard
  10. Murder and cannibalism

Here are some things that aren’t crimes, but are odd and troublesome

  1. Having delusions about being a Harry Potter character
  2. Laughing and jeering at an innocent person

Please add any others that you are aware of.
(Bah, I can’t make a wiki… Is my trust level not high enough?) (@Mods 先生, can you please make this a wiki?)

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I appreciate your efforts to keep the POV character accountable! This list of crimes calls many things into question. Who is the real hero of Wanikani? Can we trust the POV character’s view of events, or are they manipulating us? Is the Crabigator truly our enemy???

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The biggest crime is being named Jourm.

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The Crabigator: Your studies are nearing their conclusion. WaniKani is required to remind you that you will be baked [unintelligible roaring and clicking of claws] cake.

  • Hidden Level 59 dialogue.
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If Crabigator has a million fans, I am one of them.
If Crabigator has 5 fans, I am one of them.
If Crabigator has 1 fan, that is me.
If Crabigator has no fans, I am no longer alive.
If the entire world is against Crabigator, then I am against the entire world.
Until my last breath, I will support Crabigator.

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Does Illegally supplying weapons count?

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The seven swordsmen of the mist were based on this.

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While we’re at it, given the revelation in level 60 that Emperor Koichi is actually a clone, which of Koichi’s earlier appearences were him, and which were the clone?

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Still early on, but I think that drinking an angel is the most egregious thing I’ve seen them do.

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I will thank all of you once it’s done, I understand nothing of the wanikani lore. Could Victory be on your side.

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Worse yet, you also steal his hat.

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Hang on, look at this:

Screenshot_20221210-154120
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Is the protagonist’s childhood to blame for their present behavior?

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that didn’t save him from his sentence though. Justly so, I say

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Screenshot_20230202-214155
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Me @ the WaniKani protag

More evidence for the protagonist having been abused as a child:

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If you want it to be a wiki, you could always tag the mods

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This is now a Wiki :cowboy_hat_face:

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I have a shocking theory: considering the established heinous actions of the WK protag, the fact that they “aren’t a guy”, and the fact that they are capable of giving birth, what if the WK protagonist and Ms. Chou are one and the same? Perhaps Ms. Chou is a tine-travelling version of the protagonist in their old age?

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Maybe anyone can give birth in the Cliff of Life.

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But clearly, you are Ron, in fact:

Because we all know how smart Hermione is. This isn’t the sort of thing she would get wrong.

In fact, I am surprised that in the first (meaning) mnemonic, there isn’t mention to the hat being used (or theorized to be perhaps) the Sorting Hat.

Besides all of that, if it even is a delusion at all, as long as you’re not harming yourself or anyone else, there isn’t a problem here, Ron.

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That reminds me of when I announced publicly that I am Koichi.

I tried searching for the big announcement post myself, but so far have not found it. I did mention it more than a few times. In doing so, I found this (possibly secret) thread: WK Awards 2015. *sighs in nostalgia* Remember when the community used to do fun stuff like that?

2 Likes