and supposedly there’s a masc shortage smh 
6 Likes
March 30th, 2025
- 125 reviews on WaniKani
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 72 reviews on Bunpro (D:::::: )
- 0 lessons on Bunpro - Break Day #3
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
ok durtles, gotta be real with you today xdd
This Bunpro break isn’t looking as pleasant as I thought it would xddd
I blame it all on 乍らも and 次第, I’ve ranted at 次第 before already, but 文脈次第ではなく、つい「次第」忘れてしまう xdddd
I’m getting a bit of anxiety seeing “although”, “therefore”, “however”, “despite”, because I’m always thinking like “oh no, is there a 次第 in there or is there not???”, and then I forget that “乍らも” also is an option and I should write it xddd
So treat this one as a 次第 special, I’ll try to hypnotize myself into understanding what 次第 really means xdddd
I’ll be using the following three references:
In the N3 form, 次第 means simply “as soon as”, and we put it after the stem of the verb, like 食べ次第, as soon as i eat
it’s in a formal register, so the non-formal expression meaning something similar to 次第 would be “た途端に”, "たとたんに” or "直ちに”.
直ちに is an phrase, so 直ちに食事が終わったら、うちに戻ろう。
たとたんに is a verb modifier, so 飯を食べた途端に、うちに戻ろう。
in this case, formal 次第 would be like 食事が終わり次第、帰宅しましょう。
…so that was the easy part xddddd
That’s where the “depend on” meaning kicks in, and this is where we get into the N2 grammar xddd
Noun + 次第だ, meaning “depending on something”
Unfortunately, this grammar mixes up really easily in my head with によって違う and に応じて.
In this case however, 次第 means exactly one thing and Bunpro makes a note of that here:
…which brings us to the N1 grammar, 次第です, “this is why, because the reason is”.
It looks a bit more logical now that I look at it, but I won’t truly know how good I understand it until I fail it ten different times xdddd
Anyway, letting myself fail grammars casually on Bunpro is slowly leading me towards the destination raging at Bunpro, but of course, I didn’t devote enough time to internalize the grammars次第です, and that’s the reason xddd
Life: daylight savings time, woke up at 1PM and was like “wow” xddd
And then it rained the whole day, I tried to get myself on a bike but each time I put on a coat and went outside, which was like four times, it just started raining even stronger xdd
Eventually I caved in and went to a West African restaurant next to me an hour or two before Eid and it was completely empty, and I could see the stares all the time over me being like “oooo who is this person, what reason do they have to be here”, there was one guy who was looking at me every 30 seconds to make sure I’m still eating, and when I was finished he came to me and asked me “HABTS GESCHMECKT???” and I tried to give the compliments to the cooks and tell them that I enjoy new cuisines and new experiences and that it was really neat (it was really neat xdd), and that was when I saw both the cook and the waiter start smiling at me and start flooding me with business cards (i got like 8?) being like “ooo BRING YOUR FRIENDS HERE NEXT TIME” and i was like “y…yeah, sure” xddd
Unfortunately, Eid is a family holiday, so today was a bit lonely on Whatsapp, especially since the friend I wanted to go to the quiz night with flaked on me, and the weather was bad regardless, so why push yourself xdd
For the last couple of days, I tried to have the heater off as much of a day as I could, but today my thermometer right next to my laptop showed 16.7 Celsius (62F) inside and I started shivering throughout the day, so I caved in, put the heater on two, got a blanket on me and hAAAAAAAAAAAA
drifted to the world of youtube video essays under a blanket, finally finished the ContraPoints video and I educated myself on the Canadian elections a bit, not that I’ll ever use it xddd
Also, this video from Kaze Emmanuar on N64 Mario Galaxy gravity was really great and I had maths running through my head after finishing it xdd
Finished the tome of Manga Issho, voted for my favorite comic, (spoiler: it’s “Next stop: Afterlife”), and chilled down for a bit.
I tried pushing myself to do some extra Japanese study today and, nope, nada, watched one episode of Re:Zero with English subs and I was like “nope, this is not what I need today” xdd
Hope I managed to rest this weekend ^^
Either way, happy Eid everyone and see you tomorrow ^^
10 Likes
not the hattivatti plushy omg 
4 Likes
March 31st, 2025
- 145 reviews on WaniKani (including 8 burns!)
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 70 reviews on Bunpro (up to 48 ghosts, gotta love it xddd)
- 1 lesson on Bunpro (次第です, did it in yesterday’s post) - Break Day #4
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
Listen, I’m so, so happy I’m getting more people follow my study log, but that might be a meh time to tag along because Bunpro has been robbing me of the joys of studying Japanese recently xddd
I need to come up with a way how to make Bunpro not drag me down after I get ついでに wrong for the 10th time xdd
But the good news is that I got all reviews for 次第 and 乍らも on my first try today, sooo, it’s working ^^
I’m up to 38 “Expert” grammars, so stuff is still moving, even when my accuracy still barely hovers at 80% ^^
But yeah, my friend from bouldering recommended for me to go with black as one of the colors for the nails, sure, why not ^^
Time traveller: <moves chair>
Timeline: HEY ITS YA GIRL WOLFIEVGC AND IN TODAYS VIDEO WE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT THE BEST FAIRY TYPE POKEMON IN THE FORMAT
TERA FAIRY ALOMOMOLA xdddddd
Might have gotten 2 days early and should’ve waited for the Switch 2 direct, but alas, I’ll refill them before going to America at the end of the month ^^
As I’m writing this I’m seeing @RebBlue like my posts top to bottom, appreciated xdd
Today’s cool Japanese thing on the internet, I’m sure a lot of you are familar with audio drama CDs, and I hope that @Shannon-8 grabs one when she’s in Japan, because they’re just so cool xdd
They’re like, precursors to fictional podcasts and they get bundled as a lot of bonuses with media
I have a Chrome extension that’s called Language Reactor and it works really cool in terms of taking the AI-generated YouTube subs, translating them to English (with another batch of AI) and giving the ability to click on actual characters is making it much easier to get through those drama CDs and that’s one rare area where I will admit that AI transcriptions can be awesome xdddd
And Kara no Kyoukai is really a series where there are voice actors that have clear voices that are easy to understand as well, no high-pitched noises, no クソッタレs in a growly voice, mostly xddd
but that’s probably enough praise for AI for one day, nerd corner, I vibe coded for a bit at work today and when Claude spit me out 200 lines of type definitions for one javascript file I was like
The future of programming is interesting xddd
I’ll go grab a quick shower and lull myself to sleep, so see you tomorrow!
9 Likes
April 1st, 2025
- 140 reviews on WaniKani (15 burns today!)
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 65 reviews on Bunpro (46 ghosts)
- 0 lessons on Bunpro - Break Day #5
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
- Misc: plenty of Xenoblade X, whew, finally <3
APRIL FOOLS! Haha, I fooled you so much with, eee, what did I fool you with? I forgot, but I hope you found the prank funny!!!
There was one sentence on Bunpro today that I found and I was like “yup, vibe” xddd
Today’s reviews were suspiciously easy, and I had a 96% accuracy on WaniKani and 87% accuracy on Bunpro, haven’t had it in a while, but it means I’m moving in the right direction! Tomorrow WaniKani will explode though, as I’ll have 169 reviews, and some of them will probably be burns. I have to get used to having a regular stream of burns around now ^^
Midgame gear in Xenoblade X after Chapter 7 be like:
I like me this outfit, it’s comfy C:
But yeah, an absolute big part of today has been coming up with all sorts of crazy predictions in terms of what will get announced on the Nintendo Direct tomorrow, and after I heard that there will be a Treehouse afterwards… and the following days, I’ll definitely be tuning in xdd
It’s very much a community event, where a lot of YouTubers I really like all come together and make prediction videos and allow for themselves to dream for one more time before the launch, what kind of crazy games would be announced考えずにはいられない ^^
Unfortunately, I’ll be in a block of meetings when the Direct will be shown, and meetings that require my direct participation, so I might have to withhold with the coverage until after work, but hOW TO AVOID SPOILERS IM ASKING???
closing the discord window works xddd
Speaking of 考えずにはいられない, for some reason my brain throws ideas such as “Ring Fit Adventure Deluxe” or “Jump Rope Challenge Deluxe” or “Tetris 99 Deluxe” at me, thanks brain, they’re definitely going to happen xddd
I’m pretty pessimistic about the odds of this happening, but a new 3D F-Zero for Switch 2 would be really sick, I also can never say no to a new Fire Emblem game, and maybe Masahiro Sakurai has been working on a new Kid Icarus game recently, who knows?
But yeah, I’m curious about the services (Miiverse Deluxe??? Badge Arcade Deluxe??? Please???) and the technology (DLSS for old games??? 60FPS patches???)
Thank you beaverinablender for making this one btw xddddd
I wonder how much of it will be there
And Silksong is probably not happening, right???
But yeah, tomorrow should be the delayed dinner with friends from the last week and I’ll definitely be buzzing about Switch 2 games there, so they’ll have to deal with me being star-struck xddd
Either way, see you tomorrow, and I’m hopeful that tomorrow will be great C:
9 Likes
i miss shannon already frfrf
April 2nd, 2025
- 169 reviews on WaniKani (36 burns today! Seems like burns are going to be commonplace now ^^)
- 18 lessons on WaniKani (new kanji)
- 65 reviews on Bunpro (47 ghosts)
- 0 lessons on Bunpro - Break Day #6
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
Seeing that you’re about to have 169 reviews on WaniKani is scary, especially since it seems like it’s going to be happening more and more often, but I managed to wrap today’s review session just shy of an hour, so it’s still doable.
Especially since today really did feel like a meditation, the answers were clicking and the review seemed mostly uninterrupted, so I might be at peace with my current reviews ^^
And burns all the way until level 15 today!
The earliest item I haven’t burned yet for some reason is… 穴？ I’m asking myself how did I forget this one, it seems like an autoscroller answer to me, I must have mistaken it once in enlightened or something xddd
But yeah, life! Had a taiwanese dinner today with book swap friends, and OF COURSE edamame was a side, i’m so addicted to it recently xddd
My friend who used to be doing WaniKani was there, but it seems he’s dropping off recently, so here’s to you, fren ^^
Had a lot of pretty intimate conversations and going to an open mic night tomorrow, I won’t be a speaker, but I’m in the 中二病 phase right now where I go like “yees, human experience, please tell me more of human experience, I am starved for human experience” xddd
And funnily enough, almost everyone at the table had watched the Switch 2 Direct, and of course I preordered it on mediamarkt.de already and I’m picking it up on the launch day xddd
But like, MMMMMM, it was SOO DELICIOUS to watch this direct and all of the announcements, in terms of technology, Switch 2 is exactly everything I wanted for it to be: 1080p display, 120fps support, 4k output, HDR, enhancement patches for the old games, even though June 5th is STACKED in terms of games, one of my biggest joys of having a Switch 2 will be to play something like Mario Party Jamboree in 60fps xddd
AND DELTARUNEEEE
AND SILKSONGGGG
ALL IN A SINGLE DIRECT XDDD
I was so happy going out of the Direct being like “I’m cynical and I don’t like things most of the time… but this time I had literally nothing to complain about”, and then I went on the internet and people were like “actually the games are super expensive”, “and the upgrade patches are paid”, “and some of the games will require downloadable content to play”, “and it only lasts 2 hours on the battery”, and I was like
please, let me be hyped for something without reservations for once xddddd
Also, a spot freed up at the C1.1 German course I mentioned above and I’m thinking hard whether to join it: I most likely will, but I’ll miss the first four classes. Might be interesting ^^
And something separate from the Direct but Japanese cool thing: there’s this game called ENA: Dream BBQ that speaks to me because:
- it’s a game by mentally challenged audience for mentally challenged audience xddddd
- characters speak languages other than english by default, and one of the main characters in the game has strictly japanese voice acting, the one on the left:
- you are not ready for anything and you feel like you’re discovering a completely new world that you didnt know that existed xdd
- it’s queer as frick, down to the main protagonist girl, and we’ve already established i’m into queer things xddd
Would recommend!
See you tomorrow for the next one ^^
8 Likes
I was going to pre order the Switch 2 too but the multilingual version is more expensive and seems not as widely available in Japan (although it is available) and it doesn’t come with Mario Cart like the Japanese only one, you have to but that separately. So I was thinking just get the Japanese one but in the future I’ll be wanting to get the kids to consume more English content, I think and I’d certainly like that option. Sooo I haven’t done anything yet 
5 Likes
April 3rd, 2025
- 148 reviews on WaniKani
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 66 reviews on Bunpro (44 ghosts)
- 0 lessons on Bunpro - Break Day #7
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
All right then, down to exactly one beginner item on Bunpro left, かけ, might unfreeze Bunpro when the amount of ghosts drops below 30 ^^
Following the news cycle has been a lot of
recently xdddd
But yeah, I did most of my reviews after midnight today, and tomorrow will have to split up to have the first chunk in the afternoon and second after midnight, because I’m going in the town 
Today, my WaniKani forum friend took me over to a Spoken Word Open Mic event, and though I didn’t have anything prepared for it, and it was my first time, it was an interesting thing to witness.
People were writing poems in different languages and weaving German and English and a bunch of different small words here and there, I really liked a brutalist poem from a person who didn’t know English that well that went something like “Glory to the dictators! Or maybe not.”, the way how they broke down before the second sentence was just so sweet xdd
But yes, it was collaborative, people would sometimes participate in the poems taking place and there was a poem where the audience made a long continuous sound and then the speaker said one sentence and the poem was over, but it was one of my favorite ones as well xddd
I think I’ve already written a poem I’d like to present on the next one next week, as an open question, and it weaves some languages inside of it, so if we end up going next Thursday, I might want to present it ^^
As for WaniKani, was just checking the content updates for today and WHEW
the content team at WaniKani doesn’t sleep xddd
But maybe that’s why I’m glad I’m still with this service, it constantly keeps evolving xdd
I hope that tomorrow will be fun and I’ll be seeing you all tomorrow~ C:
7 Likes
when i thought i was dropping off, today happened xddd
SO STAY TUNED BECAUSE TODAY WAS WILD XDDDD
April 4th, 2025
- 157 reviews on WaniKani
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 57 reviews on Bunpro (44 ghosts)
- 0 lessons on Bunpro - Break Day #8
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
So the Night of the Libraries in Berlin… I took part in the anime quiz in German… and I won it xdddd
It was a group competition and we’ve had a kid in our group who ate every single shounen show out there, which was very useful because I’m total ass at shounen shows xddd
I was selected for his group because I went in a full Haruhi cosplay, so the kid thought I’m a legit anime fan, and well, that may or may not be the case, but he absolutely carried our group xdd
At first I felt bad about taking potential awards from another kids, but the number 2 group looked like adult guys who love shows like One Piece or Bleach so we needed to blast them off xddd
I answered one question about Initial D, one about Sakamoto desu ga and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, but the kid has absolutely slayed the competition and we won by a large margin xddd
The prize you can see at the top is a voucher for an anime convention (I didn’t know was taking place) for next Saturday and Sunday xddd
Then, I participated in a song-making workshop and the instructor was pretty entertaining, but the workshop was mostly for kids, so the most I’ve learned was the music theory names in German; and then I went to McDonalds to have a dinner after librarying…
…and then there’s this girl waiting for her order with a weird colorful thrifted jacket that wouldn’t be very popular in that area. Keep in mind I still had my Haruhi cosplay on xdddddd
so I go to her like “du siehst mega schön aus” and she was like “what?” and half an hour later we’re at a TU library flashlight archival library tour together xddddd
We yapped quite a lot and I enjoyed myself significantly, I introduced her to my Book Swap friends and we went through the tour together, traded numbers and oh god I thought spontaneous meetups like that happened only in the movies, I’ve had a great time talking to her and oversharing and all xddd
So another day where I got to participate in German language and another day that brought me back to the Japanese culture, and my plans for the next weekend are set xdddddddd
Damn. What a day.
And if you scroll down a bit… What a wild last three weeks xdddddddd
Anyway, oh, yeah, I’m supposed to be studying Japanese here xddd
This sentence on Duolingo had me switching thinking to Japanese, because I just couldn’t assemble it with my brain in English:
So wait, what is it? “I is request’s response making thanks to very happy was is”, you’ve gotta love Japanese grammar sometimes xdd
Even though I don’t vibe with Duolingo’s business practices, sentences like those keep my brain sharp in degrees that Bunpro and WaniKani don’t, so that’s pretty cool as well ^^
Aaand bouldering tomorrow, should be less exciting than the last two days ^^
See you tomorrow!
9 Likes
Ist das rizz?
Lol, this sounds like it was fun.
6 Likes
no thats haruhi cosplay but i mean if you’re dressed up as god i imagine rizz comes automatically
4 Likes
You’re awesome.
I’m my experience it very easy to connect with other people that like the things you like. Especially when cosplaying, it’s like a cheat code to break the ice.
That was great ! Do you plan to do something like that again ?
3 Likes
In my current journey towards adulthood (at 27 years old xddd) one thing I’m currently realizing is that in order to retain friends and to date or anything, the thing that helps out the most is to have a shared context, and we didn’t really establish one with that girl yesterday, so I might or might not be reaching out to her when I have something to invite her to
But by context I mean things that seem relatively automatic for you and somebody else, where you don’t have to go out of your way to plan encounters, they just naturally happen
The zero-plushies girl from bouldering joined us this time as well in our bouldering context today and she offered that maybe we could do some yoga together and I don’t know yoga much, but she seems like a fun friend to have, so maybe I should take her for having a shared context and take a peek into her world for a bit. I don’t know, if I had the “context” stuff figured out with people and if I could have a few marketable hobbies I could get people into, I have a feeling that I could go out and Friend people on my own accord, but Japanese isn’t that easy of a sell and “just adventuring, alone, exhausting and 3300kcal” doesn’t work as a great context for most of the people 
That’s one thing I’m journaling about and trying to think of how to implement into my regular life.
That being said, I’m flying to the US at the end of the month and I’ll try to have as many auspicious meetups with other people as possible, they might not become my friends, but they might make a dent in my life, and I might make a dent in theirs, so maybe it’s worth it xdd
Another friend of mine, the WaniKani one, claims that the best way to make friends and dates is to consistently show up at the same places all the time, get to befriend/date regulars and see how it goes from there. I really think they’re onto something, but I’m not the best at consistency, and auspicious meetings are the polar opposite of that approach, so I’ll have to carve my way in the world somehow ^^
April 5th, 2025
- 118 reviews on WaniKani
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 53 reviews on Bunpro (28 ghosts)
- 0 lessons on Bunpro - Break Day #9 - back to N4 from tomorrow on ^^
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
I only had 45 minutes of study of Japanese today D:
It’s been a while, but I’m glad the difficulty decreased somewhat, and tomorrow might be the shortest day in this thread so far, so I’d like to do something Japanese tomorrow, whether it’s an anime episode, or Xenoblade X, or maybe finally sitting down in front of manga, just, something
I’ll clean up my apartment tomorrow and this might give me a few ideas on how to utilize my Japanese in a day-to-day experience.
Life: speaking of contexts, the friend that invited me bouldering in the first place is moving to a different flat and might be using me next week to do some furniture disassembly, and then we could go bouldering together, which sounds really fun ^^
He gave me a yoga mat for free and then we went to a Chinese restaurant together to have some glass noodles, really fun ^^
I’m really grateful to him for having invited me in the first place because Persona might have been onto something with the year starting in April, this might have been the most fun I’ve been having in a while C:
My arms are about to fall off, legs are really exhausted and my head is on the verge of snapping off with how weak my neck feels, but it was a very physically demanding, a very emotionally engaging and a really good week and I need to do some introvert shit and stay in front of my Steam Deck and Nintendo Switch and TV and laptop for a bit ^^
See you tomorrow!
9 Likes
April 6th, 2025
- 121 reviews on WaniKani
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 33 reviews on Bunpro (25 ghosts)
- 3 lessons on Bunpro - back to N4!
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
- Book club: 銀の匙: Week 1, Week 2 and Week 3
- Book club: 葬送のフリーレン: 第３８期
Haa, we back in the Bunpro business, I did some lessons today and I was like…
…is this not N5???? xddd
But yeah, if I still want to focus more on the N3 grammars, taking it easier for a while with N4 reviews should make it possible for me to focus on learning N3 things and reviewing stuff in the background ^^
Spent something like 3 hours learning Japanese today, across manga reading and normal reviews, I mentioned yesterday how today was supposed to be really easy, so I spiced it up by reading the book clubs I missed the first parts of xddd
I have a feeling that 銀の匙 is perfectly doable, but フリーレン has a lot of meandering and I read a sentence and go like “eeee so now that i’ve read it what was that supposed to mean” and then I read the same line in Polish and I get reminded of that scene of Bill Murray in Lost in Translation waiting for a proper translation of what the ad director is talking about and the translation of an entire rant is like two words long and nothing got lost in the translation and everything got lost in translation xdddd
I also watched the whole Netflix miniseries called Adolescence with German subs today and let me tell you, I was SHOOK, SHOOK I’m telling you xddd
I mean, I knew that that was happening already, but I’ve never seen a 13-year old act like he’s not acting at all so good, it felt scary real, or maybe it was real??? xd
I mean, it probably is real for a few people, but I hope I never get to meet those people xdd
Only left the home for a few kilometers on a bike today to grab a bubble tea, needed to recharge my social batteries and they still don’t feel perfectly recharged, but are they ever really?
Me and friends on Discord found the worldwide cost of living map on the internet today and colors are pretty and there are some unexpected outliers, I didn’t know it’s cheaper to live in Brazil or India than to live in Ghana, Kenya or Uganda, granted, I’m definitely behind on visiting the African continent, so if anyone has any cool stories from those places, please share! C:
WaniKani tomorrow will be really hard, whew, I hope I manage to score a few burns ^^
Anywayyy, see you again tomorrow!
10 Likes
I spam the forums so much my own thread sinks dooown doooown the list of topics i was active on D:
At which point in time does it kick into procrastination? At which point in time do people start being annoyed with me and kick me out from their study logs? xddd
I hope it doesn’t happen, and you’re always welcome here in this study log, yall C:
April 7th, 2025
- 172 reviews on WaniKani (28 burns!)
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 47 reviews on Bunpro
- 3 lessons on Bunpro
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
aaaaaaand I’m level 32 C:
very おめでとうございます yeees C:
I’m still not on board with Bunpro’s levelling system, but I’ve grown to “Level 49” there today, I hope it means something cool, I’m not keeping track xdd
I know Bunpro has its own forum where people post their own study logs and adventures to Japan, but in my mind Bunpro forums feel a bit less, hmmm, casual? Artsy? Fun? Or maybe I’ve spent $300 for this platform and I’m justifying my purchases a few years ago xddd
Today, I finally didn’t mess up the review of 主語, had it in leeches for a looong, looong time, and then it came today and I was like “SUBJECT” and WaniKani accepted it through ^^
But so far, so good, the hell levels are the ones where crazy kanji started showing up, so I’ll have to be paying more attention to them.
Tomorrow will be another hard day on WaniKani with 189 reviews, but since Bunpro is still relatively easy, I should be able to get the whole review block done in an hour again.
Meanwhile, real life:
There’s a game on Steam called “Slay the Princess” and my friend made me buy it because she had a story in the past that vibed really strongly with her, and the game is very aesthetically pleasing, the background soundtrack is fantastic, but I’m kind of not seeing what’s so great about the plot?
We chatted about it earlier today, and she claims that this story very neatly conveys the dynamic of a push-and-pull with another person, but most of my relationships with people had a relatively easy magnetic field and it was always either strongly push or strongly pull, or went from strongly pushing/pulling to strongly pulling/pushing without ambiguity and I don’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing, so I find myself confused by this game xddd
I think since the critics are raving about this game and I’m only something like halfway into different endings, there’s gotta be something that would get me pulled into this one, but so far I have a feeling that the game doesn’t want for me to play it the way how I want to play it xddd
It’s still fun to read though, probably the most advanced Ren’py game I’ve played ^^
See you tomorrow everyone!
13 Likes
sounds like great fun, loved this story
can I just say 
yeah, this is what I do, though I can’t say how effective it is. It’s just so much harder to make new close friends the older I get, so basically my advice is hang onto your current friends for dear life. I hadn’t thought of it like that until reading your post, but I guess this consistency is what eventually creates shared context where sometimes there might not have been shared context at the first meeting otherwise. Not sure if that makes sense…
4 Likes
If we end up going for more adventures together then I might come up with a cooler nickname for her, but for now she has to deal with the transgression the fact she has zero plushies, what can I say xdddd
the “how effective it is” is something I personally feel like I could launch on a thousand word rant by itself xdddd
That part is extra funny because:
- I’m an expat, most of my older close friends are left behind in either Poland or Ireland ^^
Though we’re still attempting to rekindle the conversations sometimes - I have a feeling that you are a mosaic of all of the people you know, and they influence you and subconsciously you have models in your head of them making decisions for you, if your starting point is being terminally online, your closest friends will both exist in that void and drag you back into it, which is something I don’t know whether I should be endorsing or fighting against.
The older I get, the harder it is to define what “quality time” is - I like being vulnerable and oversharing things, if people don’t reciprocate (overshare on their own, or, worst case, at least care about my oversharing), I don’t tend to spend much energy on them, but that robs me of the experience of just having, you know, pals. The people to vibe and chill with, no deep conversations, no expectations, just Mario Kart World and chill.
Though, community-building is a really interesting experience regardless, because I remember having a lot of those thoughts of “you are who you talk with - I don’t want to be those people”, but then persisting and seeing the community grow alongside with me, and seeing me grow thanks to them.
I still wish I was somebody else (don’t we all? we’re learning Japanese after all ^^), but also I try to be available for my homies and I know my homies will be available for me and we can casually meet up for a FFVII Rebirth concert in Düsseldorf or get Slay the Princess recommended at a time when I wanted to introvert on my interpersonal relationships for a bit ^^
Forming, storming, norming and performing.
I was very lucky with the fact that I needed to come out a few different times to a few different people over a few different things, so with every one of those coming outs you see who are the real ones and who are the ones that only value your aesthetic, which made some of my bonds stronger, but admittedly I feel like I’m really bad at the confronting the issue part. I have friends who really help me out deescalate conflicts and they deescalate me when I become too much, but I wonder where is the difference between a personality type and a lack of a skill that you need to acquire ^^
It does make sense indeed, that’s the easiest way to ensure the quality time being spent with people: have an intention, a shared goal and just be on the same wavelength universally.
One downside of this approach is that you get used to the context and then you don’t go out of your way to broaden the context horizon, and a person stops going to a meetup, or they move out, or they don’t feel like doing this thing anymore, and bam, you no longer have a friend.
There’s one friend I’m struggling with at the moment where we used to have a few shared contexts together and we were very close, but our contexts came to a sudden halt and no longer exist… well I don’t wanna be the person manually coming up with a different excuse to meet up each time, and I don’t wanna be the one to find a thing that she would want to do so that we would have a shared context together, and the feelings are mutual, and that’s how an intimate friendship over a shared context can die xddd
I’d still love to meet up one day and talk with her about, well, everything, but for now, commemorative friendship is a great description of how I feel about her, and hopefully, how she thinks about me ^^
Asterisk, I might be a terrible person, I don’t know xddd
There is a term in psychology called “attachment styles”, and the goal should always be to be securely attached to a person, don’t overthink things, assume positive intent, trust in people, have them trust in you, but one thing about secure attachment style is that if a person were to leave your life tomorrow, be grateful for the adventures you had together, think warmly of how that person changed you and how you changed them, get all of the best lessons from having a friendship with them… and let them go, don’t dwell about them, don’t ruminate, don’t let your relationship sour.
Of course, it’s easier to retain it at some people (you’ve met them in a mutual circumstance, you have a shared goal, you feel similar to one another) than at the others (OMFG THEY’RE SO FREAKING COOL AND IM NOT AS COOL AS THEY ARE WHAT CAN I DO TO BE AS COOL AS THEM), but, you know, Live and Learn, the holy Sonic Adventure 2 ballad xdd
Okay, sorry for oversharing, I just have a lot of thoughts and a lot of experiences on the topic “friendship” and I have a feeling it both makes stuff easier and harder at the same time, ready to be confronted on things though xddd
April 8th, 2025
- 189 reviews on WaniKani (59 burns!)
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 37 reviews on Bunpro
- 3 lessons on Bunpro
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
Today made me go many times like “NOOOO IM SO SURE I SAW THIS WORD BEFORE BUT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO READ THIS ONE” followed by “OH NOOO I KNEW IT I SHOULD’VE TRIED THIS ONE” xddd
I’m so sad I didn’t burn this one for example:
because it’s like “CMON, you’ve been to Japan, you saw it a MILLION TIMES” xdd
I kept bashing my keyboard being like “eee, さげる？？？ おる？ふる？”, and then when I figured out it was くだる I was like
LIKE AAAAA xdddd
But no, great burning session today and moving further ahead!
Bunpro today was really simple, I even remembered most of the N3 grammars I was struggling with, and it took me something like 15 minutes as opposed to 30 in the weeks before.
Ironically, にもかかわらず is here to stalk me again, but that’s because I haven’t seen it in a while and I needed a refresher that a grammar like that exists, as soon as I remembered I aced the remaining questions for it xddd
Life: finished Slay the Princess and hoo, tons of thinking fodder on the topic of interpersonal relationships with people. I like to think I’m above some of those discussions, but I got reminded of a game that talked similar things, The House in Fata Morgana, that I’ll be trying to replay in Japanese next month, and I have a much more positive associations with the themes as presented in that game.
I’ll see where tomorrow leads me, see you tomorrow~~~
8 Likes
Hard relate, I’m an expat with multiple moves, too
I can’t do justice to your long post because I’m not feeling swell but did want to say I’m glad you wrote all that! You’ve thought about this much more and more deeply than I have, and there’s a lot of good food for thought there 
6 Likes
ok, less heavy shit today because my brain self-caffeinated itself somehow at 11pm and I started getting hyper without any external stimuli today, we stan hyper energy, we don’t stan not being able to go to sleep after midnight xddd
April 9th, 2025
- 119 reviews on WaniKani
- 15 lessons on WaniKani
- 45 reviews on Bunpro
- 3 lessons on Bunpro
- 1 lesson on Duolingo
- Book club: 葬送のフリーレン: 第３９期
oh hey, that’s me…反面。。。
xddddd
My study log is only 3 months long so far, I definitely didn’t spend 8 years of conscious and intentional practice on the language xdd
But yeah, another video on my feed about Brainrot confirming that if I spent half of the time I did checking the percentages of certain tax directives going up on learning Japanese, I’d be monetarily competing with Dogen with my pitch training course on YouTube xddd
Glad I can at least do this muchですが。。。。。。。。。。xdddd
I HAD THE MOST IMPORTANT WORD IN JAPANESE TODAY!!!
Love this example sentence, definitely will help me out to remember what tHE WORD IS!!! xddd
Also, imagine how proud I was when I spotted this poll in the wild on YouTube today and I clicked the correct answer first try:
and I was like that meme with putting medal on myself xddd
Life: I finally got around to this visual novel called Class of '09, the game advertizes itself as a “rejection simulator” instead of a dating simulator, it’s definitely a parody game, very vulgar, very explicit, and hm, playing this soon after watching Adolescence definitely didn’t do any favors, but I loved it and enjoyed myself while playing quite a bit! I both laughed and my heart bled out at the same time. It’s definitely a time capsule to times that were really bad, and you knew it at that moment, and you know it’s bad retroactively as well, but it just gets that feeling of powerlessness and “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” really well. I feel so, sooooo, sOOOOO bad for the protagonist, despite how much of a piece of shit she is as well
Multiple times throughout the runtime the game left me like <inhales> <holds the breath for very long> <proceeds to pretend i’m unfazed by it while being very deeply fazed> xddd
If I don’t dodge tomorrow, and I hope I don’t, I might be doing my first ever open mic with poetry tomorrow irl, got my poem written already, now it’s time to deliver it ^^
Writing this one to hold myself accountable xdd
See you tomorrow!
8 Likes
Your discussion on friendship was interesting, I’ve definitely have some similar musings from time to time. I wish I had more to add since it’s a good topic but I don’t have many thoughts at the moment 
I relate to having a friend suddenly go to no mutual contexts and you’re like damn ok 
5 Likes