# 大人な人 - can you say that?
**URL:** https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458
**Category:** Grammar
**Created:** [February 16, 2021, 10:12pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458 "2021-02-16T22:12:22Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@ollylove](https://community.wanikani.com/u/ollylove)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2021, 10:12pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/1 "2021-02-16T22:12:22Z")
こんにちは 皆さん！
So, I’m stuck on a (apparently) simple sentence:
I just wanted to tell my dad: “I’m an adult person! [and I can decide for my own life]”
My natural instinct was: “大人な人がよ!”
But then load of questions arose:
- can you say 大人な人 ?
- is it correct to use が here to underline I’m an adult? (I can’t use だ cause I’m a woman)
- if が is correct, does it completely replace です?
- or is it all wrong and I should use the plain old “私は、大人ですよ!”
Thank you all!!
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### Author:  [@Saida](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Saida)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2021, 10:17pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/2 "2021-02-16T22:17:35Z")
You can say だよ! You shouldn’t use です with your dad.
大人 is a noun, so it already means adult person on its own. You can’t use it as an adjective.
The particle wa is written は ‘ha’ in kana.
If I were to translate this, I, also female, would go for
わたし、大人なんだよ！(because) I’m an adult!
But of course shouting about being an adult makes you sound all the more like a child 😛
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### Author:  [@d-hermit](https://community.wanikani.com/u/d-hermit)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2021, 10:23pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/3 "2021-02-16T22:23:57Z")
> [@Saida](#):
>
> But of course shouting about being an adult makes you sound all the more like a child
Shhh 🤫
😜
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### Author:  [@Leebo](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Leebo)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2021, 10:28pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/4 "2021-02-16T22:28:02Z")
> [@ollylove](#):
>
> is it correct to use が here to underline I’m an adult? (I can’t use だ cause I’m a woman)
が is not an option for anyone to say in this context. There are many uses of が, but none of them would align with this.
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### Author:  [@Syphus](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Syphus)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2021, 10:49pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/5 "2021-02-16T22:49:48Z")
> [@Saida](#):
>
> You shouldn’t use です with your dad.
Honestly, this depends on the Family dynamic. There are most certainly families where it would be proper. [Here](https://oshiete.goo.ne.jp/qa/10011637.html) is a random question on the topic I found.
But I think more importantly “I can’t use だ cause I’m a woman” is a very incorrect statement and should be emphasized that that isn’t true.
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### Author:  [@Belthazar](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Belthazar)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2021, 11:12pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/6 "2021-02-16T23:12:35Z")
> [@Syphus](#):
>
> There are most certainly families where it would be proper.
父上、拙者は大人でございます。
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### Author:  [@Kiashi29](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Kiashi29)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2021, 11:30pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/7 "2021-02-16T23:30:32Z")
> [@Saida](#):
>
> 大人 is a noun, so it already means adult person on its own. You can’t use it as an adjective.
Unless you turn it into an adjective by making it 大人っぽい, (but this doesn’t really help OP).
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### Author:  [@BigTonee](https://community.wanikani.com/u/BigTonee)
#### Post date: [February 16, 2021, 11:32pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/8 "2021-02-16T23:32:26Z")
To say what you want to say （私は）自分で決められる would probably be just right. It comes off a bit brazen but it includes the implications of being reasonable enough to make ones own decisions.
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### Author:  [@pepepoum](https://community.wanikani.com/u/pepepoum)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 12:44am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/9 "2021-02-17T00:44:33Z")
Would just saying
もう大人でしょう！
also work in this case?
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### Author:  [@Syphus](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Syphus)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 1:15am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/10 "2021-02-17T01:15:39Z")
That is only if you are 中二病
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### Author:  [@Kalas](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Kalas)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 1:54am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/11 "2021-02-17T01:54:23Z")
A 中二病 would have used でござる
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### Author:  [@wannabefssp](https://community.wanikani.com/u/wannabefssp)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 2:13am UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/12 "2021-02-17T02:13:22Z")
> [@Belthazar](#):
>
> 父上
I remember 父上 because the American Indian-based character from Dragon Ball calls his dad that.
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### Author:  [@ollylove](https://community.wanikani.com/u/ollylove)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 6:31pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/13 "2021-02-17T18:31:17Z")
> [@Syphus](#):
>
> But I think more importantly “I can’t use だ cause I’m a woman” is a very incorrect statement and should be emphasized that that isn’t true.
Why is it not true??
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### Author:  [@Syphus](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Syphus)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 6:37pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/14 "2021-02-17T18:37:25Z")
Why would it be true?
There are some situations where using だ sounds “rougher”, more “assertive” or “more masculine” but that is only a fraction of cases. But beyond that, だ is simply the copula, and would be used as such.
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### Author:  [@Mrs\_Diss](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Mrs_Diss)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 7:08pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/15 "2021-02-17T19:08:49Z")
as far as i understand it: when we learn that an expression is more masculine or feminine it’s usually not directly about the gender, but about qualities associated with gender.
we can choose from situation to situation which manners of speech we use, but we also need to be aware of what they imply.
but that’s just my understanding, more experienced learners might have better answers.
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### Author:  [@ollylove](https://community.wanikani.com/u/ollylove)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 7:13pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/16 "2021-02-17T19:13:53Z")
I see, Tae Kim says だ is used mainly by men, but doesn’t go much into details… well, this confirms my initial thought: Tae Kim’s guide is not enough as a resource to learn Japanese grammar, it’s ok to have a preliminary overview, but then you need more detailed resources.
Thank you guys!
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### Author:  [@d-hermit](https://community.wanikani.com/u/d-hermit)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 7:21pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/17 "2021-02-17T19:21:35Z")
It depends on where it’s used. In many cases omitting だ is ungrammatical.
As for gendered language here’s a good article:
> **[Beyond the Binary: A Queer Take on Gendered Japanese](https://www.tofugu.com/japanese/queer-japanese/)**
>
> Navigating gendered language in Japanese can be hard for LGBTQ individuals. Read this article for guidance!
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### Author:  [@TanakaDaiki](https://community.wanikani.com/u/TanakaDaiki)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 7:29pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/18 "2021-02-17T19:29:22Z")
Using だ is just fine. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Syphus](https://community.wanikani.com/u/Syphus)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 7:29pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/19 "2021-02-17T19:29:45Z")
One of the many reasons I don’t like Tae Kim is that he has no training or education in language learning pedagogy, and makes broad claims without explaining them and inserts his personal opinions without stating them as such.
Also, he has never been willing to accept that he’s wrong about anything. So, you get what you pay for.
@d-hermit I already don’t like that article since it starts with the feminine わ something that is near-dead in real life. I assume saying, “You sound feminine” is a nicer way of putting it than “You sound like an anime character.”
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### Author:  [@theghostofdenzo](https://community.wanikani.com/u/theghostofdenzo)
#### Post date: [February 17, 2021, 7:40pm UTC](https://community.wanikani.com/t/%E5%A4%A7%E4%BA%BA%E3%81%AA%E4%BA%BA-can-you-say-that/49458/20 "2021-02-17T19:40:43Z")
no, but you _can_ say 大人の人 (it’s a の-adjective)
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