Like others, I found this section a bit trickier, with much higher amount of lookups - this is reflected by the 200+ words that I added to the vocab sheet. Eek! Was hoping to continue reading sections per week in my quest to catch up, but the added lookups definitely slowed by. I’m hoping for lots of dialogue next week!
I also found this section much less of a page turner - if I were reading this in English I think I would appreciate the change of pace more considering how intense the last couple sections have been, but I do wish there had been a bit more showing then telling. This was exasperated for me by the slowness of reading in Japanese.
Summary
Re: marriage. I think in general it seems like a fairly good arrangement: they respect each other and have a clear understanding of what they both want from the marriage. Like others, I found his enthusiasm for Akishina a bit uncomfortable - but then again, his perspective is basically of someone whose only read the first chapter. For Natsuki, I wonder if telling these stories is a way for her to cling on to the happy memories of her childhood, rather than having Akishina be forever associated with the trauma of what happened there. But now she is in a somewhat awkward position of not being able to say no to going.
I’ve also been thinking about why she hasn’t just broken off from her family earlier. It struck me that she had actually asked permission earlier to move out - it makes me think that in a lot of ways she hasn’t really changed and was pretty deeply affected by being found with Yuu. Whatever rebelliousness we saw at the end of last chapter, has been subdued. She might be wary of “the factory” but she also is fearful of what might happen if she goes against it.
Compound that with the fact that breaking away from abusive situations is never easy. Her family might be horrendous, but she also doesn’t really know of a life without them. And in real life, people are not usually abusive 100% of the time. We see that somewhat with her conversations with her sister. So it becomes a situation of thinking “this is just about bearable, maybe this is just what families are like.” Even if neither of these things are true.
I wonder as well if her promise to Yuu to survive at all cost is part of it as well. Surviving in this situation might be playing by the rules of The Factory, to play nice with family and not cause too much of a stir. Her main point of resistance is in her marriage: she refused to give over her reproductive system. But she is doing it quietly. It’s clear that most people around her think this is a “normal” marriage. In addition, her family is her one link to Yuu. That I think is important.
I do find the pressure to get pregnant that Natsuki is experiencing is interesting. I know that it’s 100% a real thing, but because my friend circle is largely leftist academics, I don’t really have that. If anything, I’m surrounded by people who really don’t want kids. This despite being only a couple of years years younger than Natsuki. Even my family is fairly relaxed all things considered. But I definitely feel for those that do. Even if I’m somewhat agnostic about having children, pregnancy scares me. The thought of my body changing in all these unexpected ways is filled with lots of unknown. It’s also tied up with lots of feeling about climate change and what kind of world I’d be bringing kids into. So I feel pretty strongly that it should be a personal choice. If I had that kind of pressure, it would be the cause of lots of stress.
In any case, I’m interested to see what happens next!
I had to go on a trip, which broke my momentum. Only today did I get back to reading more than one page of the book in a day.
I don’t really think my interest waned, though. The ending certainly makes me curious to see how things will play out.
I’ll keep doing my best.
Shouldn’t have to add quite as many words to the vocab sheet, ha. And if not - we’ll have our own celebration when we get to the end. Slow and steady wins the race!